Oh, wow! This is well-written. The way you use the words to portray the intense emotions dragged me more and more into the story. It is GintokixTakasugi too! This pauring needs more love!

Nice work! :-)

I like how you wrote the scenes, your detailed descriptions makes it easy to imagine the scene in my head :D

You've got quite a nice idea here, and it'll be cool if you could make use of this story to continue and write a longer fanfic!