Lol! Steve never really had a chance

Daaaaaaaamn XD
Smut aside, the description was nice at the beginning and I could hear the characters' voices in your writing, so well done.

I really enjoy your method of writing smut. It wasn't too graphic, nor was it too flowery. Wonderful job with the teasing Kono, too!

Great story! Loved it!

You had me laughing and panting. This was a great read!

Steve thinking Kono answered her phone during sex was hilarious. And the " I'll buy you a new couch, just progressed stop talking." Absolutely cracked me up.

Great writing.

Cool!
good job.

Lmao that was really hot and awesome good stuff..
xo

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ::MIND MELTDOWN FROM THE SEXINESS:: BEST SEDUCTION EVER. :D :D :D

Love this! I like how feisty your Kono is, fits her perfectly.

This line cracked me up so badly:

They get up to leave, Lori throwing them puzzled glances, and who the fuck even cares what the new girl thinks as long as he gets to first base tonight.

! That is EPIC! And exactly how I feel about Lori!

Wonderful work, i hope you write more steve/kono! There's not nearly enough of it floating around...

Oh, I really loved this! I like how it was Kono trying to seduce him, rather than him trying to chase her, if you know what I mean? And the way you wrote it, with the different scenes, was brilliant! Everything about it was just great.

That was awesome! Love the Kono torturing Steve part and him TOTALLY blushing about it! You're an amazing writer, keep it up! Hope to see more sessions of the "relatively easy seduction of Steve McGarrett". Absolutely loved it to bits!

This is awesome .. Write more kono x steve fics pls pls .. I miss your fics ..

Sent from my iPod touch via Pocket Fiction

hiiii! well, i loved this. duh :) you really do such a great job with all the details, i love how you have steve so on edge and alert around kono, like his senses have been heightened and he can't help himself.

aww poor steve alone in the house without danny. and lol that one poor cleaning lady. she's probably thinking he needs a nice lady at home to keep him in bed longer ;)

("What, you think I'd pick up during sex?" She asks incredulously, because one thing about Kono is she's not afraid to call him out on his bullshit, except for that whole thing with Fryer and that doesn't really count because they both like to pretend that never actually happened. "Talk about an ego." She mocks. "I mean, don't get me wrong boss, you're important and all—you're just not that important.")

A the fryer line, i mean, for reals that's the truth. and lol steve, the ego on you, you are ridiculous.

("I am such a fucking idiot." He announces to the room, because it seems like that's worth noting.)

the whole section i was like "oh steve, you idiot" playfully in my head and i love that you had him say it out loud. oh steve.

bonus point sfor including chocolate, my favorite of all things. :D and kono's too obviously. i love how he has no choice but to try some when she offers it to him.

(Danny not even bothering to stop his recitation of a long list of perfectly sane reasons why sand should be outlawed.)

oh danny. :D the handcuffs mix-up was hilarious.

("I like how you still call him boss when you're the one giving out orders." Danny remarks pensively, as if this is a trick he'd like to learn. Yeah, that's all he needs at this point. Kono giving Danny free lessons in shamelessly manipulating him.)

i think this may be my favorite line haha. i love how she has him wrapped around her finger and is the one making the calls even though steve thinks he's in charge. good eye, danny. :D

ALSO UM the whole couch section? *swoons*

(Because he's actually not ashamed at all but Lori is sitting right there and though they try to pretend otherwise, they all know she's a walking tape recorder reporting faithfully to the governor.)

again, A for actually mentioning her and her job.

("What, I can't have a private life? You know, a private life, that we don't talk about, like all of you have?" He asks, pointedly paraphrasing something he's sure he's heard Lori repeat a few times herself. He sees her go very still and drop her head, looking chagrined, then he glances over at Kono, who's the only person in here who appears to be working.)

again love the lori detail. i like how it's not MEAN but it's the truth, because that is what she's said and apparently her job is to watch over them and report back so i like that you're doing a better job with her in 2,000 words than the show has in 8 episodes lol.

great work on this. thank you for the surprise. i can't wait for your next piece. :)