Heck yes!

Do you think you are going to continue this story one day i'm really enjoying it and it is very well written :)

You've got me curious. I can't wait till the next chapter. There is a lot of intrigue here ;)

ohh so cool

Interesting. :) I'm enjoying how Atem's relationship with the slaves is progressing. Picturing him trying to climb a tree is funny :)

To the last question of atem, YES! but anyway I loved the story! It was very good.

I think spending time with Adom and Yugi will be good for Atem. He needs a little humbling. :)

OOH! This is getting very interesting... I wonder what the enemy's goal is... hmm...

Ooh! This is so interesting. I wish you'd explain the situation a little more, it's a little confusing about who's attacking.

This is a very interesting story so far :)
Thanks for writing it... I hope you update soon.

'You always save your extra work money'

What money?! Part if being a slave is not being paid. A slave is chattel, property. They get a couple sets of clothes, food and a place to sleep. That's generally it. A labor slave in every time period that I know of would not be paid at all. You summed it up well in the first chapter, they are subject to hard labor and if they die Oh well and they just go grab another unlucky soul.

You need to work on keeping your story realistic. Creative licence only goes so far.

one thing I noticed is that you have the dialogue in the paragraphs. They need to be separate. Its easier on the reader is is the accepted format for writers on this site.

Also this story is starting to border on the realm of unrealistic. Even if the prince felt bad for what he did, which in those times wouldn't likely happen, and brought them to the place they would still be slaves. Servants though treated similarly to slaves were paid and did not live in or at their place of work they would live in huts near by.

Also is Adom truly mute or can he speak. Because if he can and Yugi lied the penalty for lying to royalty was anything from the removal of a person's tongue to death.

I was under the impression that Adom was mute. WHy is he now speaking? Did Yugi lie?

personally I would like this story better if it was written in third person. Its how the majority of stories are written, and to tell you the truth some people see first person and just close the window.

Also as a note I know you can take creative licence but I thought you should know that historically most whipping punishments were thirty lashes to forty lashes. This is because any more than that and it is very likely that the person will bleed to death. That is with a standard whip, a roman whip, cat o'nine tails or the whip the prince uses ,I believe its called a scorpion, would cause more damage, thus more blood loss.

and before you're creeped out by my knowing this I worked for a summer as a docent at a history museum for extra credit in school. You'd be amazed and horrified at what you had to know.

Wow i think i have to go back and reread because i don't recall much about this i do remember Adom being whipped because he was a mute but... yeah gotta reread sorry