It seems like you forgot about the Vermillion city gym? The electric type one with Lt. Surge

The first chapter is so incredibly cheesy!
On a side note how on earth would a fighting Pokemon communicate with Ash? Even assuming you are alluding to him having the aura ability thing it has nothing to do with communicating with Pokemon so it makes no sense whatsoever and if you are talking about latent psychic potential then Riolu is not a psychic (I checked) so he wouldn't say "I feel you have a similar power" .

Just a minor error at the end where you were writing out the Pokémon that Ash has. It's spelled dr*a*tini, not dr*i*tini. Other than that, the main thing you can work on is your diction (word choice) and your grammar. I'd recommend focussing on your diction though, and getting a little more variety in your vocabulary.

No hate to your writing, it’s just that I dislike the kind of story you chose to write. Others may like it... I don’t.

I don’t like stories where the main character’s main strength is that everybody does things for him. Arceus has given him Riolu. Arceus has given him Scyther. His dad has given him, not just financial security but genuine wealth. What next? Aside from his tenacity in defending Pikachu, Ash has shown no competence as a trainer and only wins because his pokémon are already strong.

yay! sabrina and cynthia are the only pairings I actually like (that I have read. I am sure their are others I have not) as I find ash's female traveling companions annoying most of the time.

Ignore Critics United. They're a bunch of bullies. If you're worried, just post to AO3 and fanfiction.

You got the right one to evolves into scizor with the metal coatin and out of the game so good job to you for it good luck to you

I just wanted to clarify, looking back I may have sounded a bit rude. I apologize for that. I didn’t mean for it to come off that way, I was just trying to point out some of the discrepancies in the story.

Well, the story was ... mediocre. The writing wasn’t good by any means and the dialogue was off, not to mention some inconsistencies (like with the fact was told he was the chosen one multiple times, and how the increased number of balls he can carry went from 10 to 8). However, the overall story is interesting, I’ll give you that. I’ll read the continuations of this story soon and leave another review when I’m done. Advice for the lemons though, if you still have them you can try posting them on another platform and leave us links to get there. I know a few stories which have done that.

Ya know, I won't blame CriticUnited this time... Because They're 13... writing a Sex Scene between two minors is illegal...

When you remember the original Sprite for Sabrina had a whip...

Oh, It's Only One pokemon Asleep at a time... That makes a lot more sense...

Ugh... Sleep Clause... SMH... It's so stupid...Just imagine if you put a pokemon to sleep, then it wakes up next turn...

Now you never get to put another of your opponent's pokemon to sleep again...And I don't know why OHKo moves are Verboddin, They have such low Accuracy that to abuse it you have to get creative...

Swagplay and ParaFlinch are Legitiment Strategies... no matter what THEY say...

Oh god, why is Sabrina acting like Tharja...