Love it

I believe you meant legilimens... not Levicorpus

The plot went haywire here... I mean how did they find Harry? Where did they find him? How? You went from Harry being kidnapped to suddenly being saved... lost continuity in the process... I still find the bare bones of this fic interesting but it could be so much better

Still needs lot of work. Sirius gave a 'potion' not 'poison' The framework is nice but the rest not so much. You need a beta to fine tune your writing and help withe the formatting

other than spelling sirius as suris and squib as squid this is interesting...

Hey I was wondering what is with the strange spelling of sirius earlier in this chapter also I was wondering if maybe you could fix it cause it makes this story kinda hard to read at first but great start :)

It's a good story but maybe you should get someone to check it over for the little things you miss. Also you should see if you can get make it so that the sentences aren't broken up. It's just that it makes it hard to read, but your doing a good the story looks like it could be great.

This story needs editing... badly. I'm not saying it to be mean because it's a good story. It's got good bones... a good storyline and structure. It's just that it's not written very well and comes off as a little bit hard to read. Just... need some more practice... and an edit of the fic. It's a really good story it's just that it's too hard to read in the way that some sentences have words that I can see were meant to be a different one, but seems to have gotten mixed up a bit. I like the story, I do, it just needs a careful eye. We're all learning here and mistakes are made. Shoot, I had to go through and edit a chapter in one of my own stories that had some mistakes in it. We all do it in learning, so I'm not trying to be mean in any of this. Good story, just take your time and give it some more love yeah?

Uhmm. What the hell was that. I read the first chapter before deciding to read no futher.
Writing skills are atrocius, your spelling and grammar needs vast improvement.
HIS NAME IS SIRIUS BY THE WAY! HE TURNS INTO A DOG NOT A WEREWOLF! REMUS LUPIN TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF AT THE FULL MOON!

Gallows Hallow? Seriously? Is this fic your idea of a joke?

Unfortunately, this chapter is not a thing that one can be proud of. The paragraph formating is attrocious and makes the sentences choppy and difficult to read. In this fic, is Harry a girl? Why does Voldemort call him Harriet? You've got some explaining to do. I really liked the summary, it had a lot of potential. I was hoping that the story would be equally as good, but I'm not seeing any potential there. And the grammar is quite horrendous, I hope you've realised by now that you seriously need to get a beta and patch up this fic. There's a reason no one's leaving any awesome reviews and that you have so few reviews for ten chapters. I hope you find it in your heart to spend more time editing this fic.

Backward Mind

The plot is interesting, but the grammar is rather distasteful. I'd recommend getting a beta to help you with the spelling of the characters names. Also there are too many breaks between paragraphs. Never break a paragraph in the middle of a sentence. It makes it very hard to read otherwise.

The plot sounds so wonderful, but if you want people to be able to enjoy this story, you must abide the general rules of English grammar. There are many people out there who are very willing to help you. This story could become a very good one if it's just made more readable.

Cool story! Look forward to the next update.

uhh its ok, besides a few spelling mistakes and grammer (which witch), but isn't Harriet a girl's name? Like whenever i think of the name i think of Harriet tubman. Just wondering, its ok so far though.

Fix spelling, spacing and paragraphs and this could be a decent fic. Btw squib not squid... unless James' sister was the giant squid.