Casey. Oh man. I can't even begin to imagine how he must have felt. The guilt would have killed me! This just proves how strong their bond is when not even stabbing each other disrupts their friendship. I imagine Billy's body is covered with scars... I wonder if he ever looks at himself and thinks about all his crazy adventures. Poor Billy. You really like torturing him, huh?

Great job as always!

Really enjoyed reading this one! It may be a common trope, but you handled it very well IMO... Two things I really liked were your descriptions of how each of the guys fit into the whole that makes the team and the conversation between Billy and Casey at the end. Thanks for this!

I'm not sure how to express my love for this story. Casey and Billy are so perfect in this. You're amazing! Their dialogue at the end is spectacular. This would have made an awesome episode. Great writing, thanks for sharing!

First off, I wanted to say how much I enjoyed this story. It was very much written like an episode and seemed very true to the tv show and the characters personalities. It kept me engrossed from the very beginning. I didn't want to stop reading.

Secondly, you could truly do with a beta. Your story was so good, and it was disconcerting to be so involved and then kind of get thrown out of the story line by grammatical errors. I don't want to you take this in a bad way, your writing style is excellent, it just needs a little clean-up. I do the same thing, it always throws me off when I read errors, but when I am writing, I skip words and mis-spell all the time.

Please keep up the good work and keep writing, you've got a true talent for it.

Oh wow. This was *heartbreaking*! I really love your Casey and Billy fics – they're a great match up with all their contrasts. And if this is a common trope, well, I can only imagine it got to be that way because it is so damn effective. Once again, you've produced a touching, tense, and beautifully written Chaos fic.

This story ripped my heart out of my chest, then put it back in all warm and squishy... Or something like that.

Wow, the idea of Casey having to stab Billy to save him... That's such a powerful plot point, and even more so because of the way you handle the characters. They are so much like themselves. Casey's guilt, the way Billy looked at him with forgiveness before being stabbed... It all gave me chills!

The first line of the story, "Deep cover is dangerous," really rang true throughout.

Great plot, superb characterizations, chill-inducing drama and angst... I love it!

Super job! You are amazing! Everytime you write a story, I think, wow-she can't top this one... and then you DO. I can't wait until you write another one... please keep writing Chaos-with it being cancelled, it is glorious fics like this that make it a little more bearable. Thank you, thank you, thank you :D

"Well," Billy says. "Since this is a first, I do believe it is safe to assume that it's more of an aberration rather than a worrisome pattern." :D

Billy nods. "Duly noted," he says. "The next time you stab me or cause me other types of harm while undercover, I will expect no such words of unfettered kindness." Gah, I totally love the lines you give Billy….

Great story! Loved it! :)

You know how much I LOVED this story and the lovely torment you put Casey through here. It's amazing, but it's not Billy I worried about, but Casey. Billy's acceptance and support of Casey's actions spoke so much for who he is, but it's Casey's guilt and torment, no matter how necessary it was to the success of the mission that really pulses through the story. We so seldom see beyond the very restrained and self-contained control that Casey applies to himself, only unleashing it in situations when he gets to apply his "weaponry" which probably plays a part in the process he uses to keep himself under such tight control, but here, he has to unleash it on a friend and it no longer fulfills that release and instead, applies more stress and greater still, tremendous guilt despite Billy's forgiveness and understanding that what had to be done, had to be done to salvage the mission. Billy understands that the mission has to come first, but here, that credo undos Casey and quite literally uncovers him in ways that he never wants to reveal. Just a wonderful character study.

Fave Parts:

Casey looks up. "You hired me for security," he says. "Any breach is my responsibility and I will deal with it personally."

-There's a sense here that Casey believes that's how he lives as an operative too. It's not just about the cover story.

Casey's expression doesn't flicker; Billy doesn't move. There's the slightest hint of understanding, of forgiveness in Billy's eyes right before Casey plunges the knife in.

Billy's flesh breaks easily under Casey's force. Casey keeps a steady hand on Billy's shoulder, holding him still as the blade penetrates. He's careful in this, not too deep but deep enough, placed at the optimum biological location to miss all vital organs if possible.

Billy's eyes go wider, face paling. His expression is shocked, even if he knew what was coming. He sucks in a breath and holds it, not breathing out, not blinking for the long second that Casey holds the knife taut in Billy's body.

The blade pulls out easier than it went it, and Billy's exhales heavily as tears spring to his eyes. For a second, Casey stands there, blood dripping from his knife as he holds Billy's shoulder. He wants to stay like that, to stay there as long as he can, to pretend like what's coming next isn't really coming at all.

But he let go; he has to let go. Releasing Billy's shoulder, the Scot crumples, hitting the ground hard, blood already staining the front of his shirt and smearing across the floor.

Coldly, Casey steps away, but his throat is tight as he orders the guards to take Billy back where they found him, to dump him just beyond the perimeter, and leave him for dead.

-*THUD! And that "There's the slightest hint of understanding, of forgiveness in Billy's eyes right before Casey plunges the knife in" KILLED ME SO DEAD! And I LOVED it!

In his head, Casey does the calculations. Unchecked bleeding for nearly fifteen minutes. All things considered, it could be worse. Billy could be dead already.

-I LOVE the stoic practicality here that keeps Casey focused even though he's doing it about his friend.

It's blank now, unconsciousness with a firm hold. The bruises from Casey's fist are vivid in the moonlight, and Casey can still see the acceptance and forgiveness in Billy's eyes before Casey delivered the wound.

Billy forgave him, which is funny, since Casey never had a chance to say he was sorry.

-*SOB! SO WONDERFUL!

Rick hovers closer now. "Who did this to him?" he asks, and he looks almost as pale as Billy in the dim cast of the moon.

Casey turns his icy eyes away and forces himself to stay still. "I did," he says, plainly and honestly. "I stabbed him."

-Another AWESOME *THUD moment.

"So what about those medics?" Casey asks finally, because he wants to be the one who saves Billy's life tonight, not the one who killed him.

-*SOB! I LOVE THIS! Can totally imagine this thought process.

Michael is resolute. "You did the right thing," he says. "You had no other choice."

Casey knows Michael means it.

Casey just hopes it's true.

-LOVE Michael's comfort here! It's what he would say to as fast as it's happening, it's still slow in Casey's mind. Slow as he stares at Billy's face, watches his teammate's closed eyelids, hoping for a flicker of life that he knows won't come. Can't come. Billy's lost too much blood, the wound is too advanced-

Casey knows all the reasons. Knows it's just as well, Billy doesn't need to feel that kind of pain. Knows that it doesn't mean that Billy will die necessarily; knows that Billy's still fighting this as best he can.

Casey knows all of that.

It doesn't make it easier as the medics hoist the backboard between them, taking off in a controlled job back toward the compound, Billy's still and lifeless figure strapped down.

- *SO SOBBING!

He's part of a family.

It starts with the first time Billy grinned at him and spoke in his Scottish drawl and Casey knew that his life at the CIA would never be the same.

- I smile when I read this because it reads like "love at first sight" to me. *sigh!

Billy's the soul of it, and maybe that's why everything hurts right now.

- He SO IS!

It's a harsh truth that rubs at him with its irony.

It rubs his mind almost raw as he sits and waits. He always thought he had the best job on the team; he's never doubted it, in fact.

-This is a TERRIFIC image and completely believable thought process.

Billy has already forgiven him, of course. Billy forgave him before it even happened.

- *faint!

"I'm sorry," he says, and the words sound hoarse and foreign.

-So unlike Casey and yet so filled with sincerity!

Billy's vitals fluctuate precariously throughout the next day. When his pressure crashes entirely, they have to restart his heart and then determine there's another bleeder they've missed.

- Okay, you know why I loved this! HAHAHA

"No, it's our responsibility," Michael says. "And I know you're carrying this burden, and that's yours to deal with. But you're not helping Billy this way."

- I SO LOVE how you have Michael here. He is this rock that Casey needs, he is the firm yet compassionate voice that Casey needs to hear. LOVE IT!

Casey lifts an eyebrow, feeling a hint of humor returning. "It's just Billy," he says. "You can never doubt him. Even when you doubt everything else, you can't doubt him."

- Man, I just eat this stuff up and can't get enough!

Casey shrugs, looking at Billy again. "Being unconscious is really just like being in deep cover," he says. "You're fighting on your own in there, but you know the team's there to back you up, just like that. It's just a matter of holding strong until the end."

-How philosophical for our Casey!

And if Billy's still pale and weak, he makes up for it with sheer fortitude alone.

-LOVE THIS!

Billy's face tightens a little, but he nods. "Aye," he says, and his voice lacks its usual humor even as he smiles. "Sort of hard to forget that kind of thing, what with the bleeding out and my life flashing spectacularly before my eyes."

-*DIES LAUGHING especially the "my life flashing spectacularly before my eyes" part. SO what Billy would say. I can hear it in my head.

"Well," Billy says. "Since this is a first, I do believe it is safe to assume that it's more of an aberration rather than a worrisome pattern."

-HILARIOUS!

Billy shifts uncomfortably. "And now is so ideal?" he asks. "I barely got upgraded to a bedpan."

"I'm serious," Casey says shortly, trying to control his exasperation.

"And so am I!" Billy protests. "Because the joys of catheters aside, relieving myself while lying down is still a strange and difficult proposition."

-I'm just busting a gut laughing at this! I can SO hear it in my head and I SO wish I could see on the TV screen.

Billy gives an incredulous snort. "Casey, come now," he says. "I am fully aware that you are the self-proclaimed and undisputed human weapon, and I greatly respect those skills, but you're not omnipotent. Nor are you omniscient, despite your apparent belief to the contrary. Deep cover is unpredictable. More than that, it's dangerous, and we all knowingly take those risks."

- This WHOLE scene just KILLS ME DEAD! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Billy nods. "Duly noted," he says. "The next time you stab me or cause me other types of harm while undercover, I will expect no such words of unfettered kindness."

-LAUGHING SO HARD!

LOVED, LOVED this SO MUCH!

Awesime story. I think you got Casey's character/how he would handle a situation like that, and his emotional [though no doubt he would wholly deny that any emotions took place] response down to a tee.

Bloody frellin' fantastic. You have a gift and it is my joy to get to witness it and enjoy the fruits of it. The voices ring so perfectly clear it is quite lovely.

This line just cracked me up:

"The next time you stab me or cause me other types of harm while undercover, I will expect no such words of unfettered kindness."

and so did this:

"Since this is a first, I do believe it is safe to assume that it's more of an aberration rather than a worrisome pattern."

Please do continue to find time to share your gifts with us poor readers!