This is amazing! I’m not just saying that I honestly think you did a great job here! Especially with the details!...it sounds like I’m rating a fucking book sorry but I liked it *insert Lenny face here*

so cute!

Great!

The repeated use of the word member is weird

This was awesome! It's in character (something that's usually hard for smut writers)!

Great job !

. cuteee

First fanfic ever! Mine was a disaster! Yours is so cool! I loved Izaya, he was so~ cute! LOVED IT!

Oh my god! I love the detailed smut! *Q*

For the first fanfiction ever this is quite amazing! I loved it and enjoyed it immensely! Beautifully written and it kept me on the edge of my seat! I would definitely recommend this to any Yaoi and Shizaya lovers! Had a great time reading!

Your first fic? Well it was really really good. Celty is just hilarious! XD I really enjoyed reading that, especially the shower scene and how you described it KYAH the only thing that felt a little OCC is how quickly Shizuo just started Izaya but you probably realised that anyway. Thank you for writing this! It was so cute :P

Asura-Chan: Oh no! Asura loved this! There was no Ocness whatsoever! It was absolutely a marvelous piece of work! You captured both characters perfectly! Asura thinks that while Izaya has his cocky attitude, he still ends up bottoming! And it's not his fault he's so darn cute, causing him to bottom! Aha!

Nova-San: She loves the smutty fics... *sigh*

Asura-Chan: And what's wrong with that!?

Nova-San: Nothing. Anyways, I completely agree with Asura-Chan. You made the characters completely perfect, and if Izaya were to ever have a sick day, then this would be it, hands down. I love your style of writing, and I hope to see more like these.

Asura-Chan: Nova-San, you're so boring!

!OMFGGGGG I LOVE IT I NEEDED THIS SO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA PADRE FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINED
I WILL BE ON MY WAY NOW
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
* FLIES AWAY *

It's actually really good, especially for your first time writing something like this :D there are no grammatical errors, only a few areas where spaces need to be added... Although it might just be my phone... Anyways it was very well written :)

so amazing ;-; itshould be a story..so much potential..i could help if you want (O[]O)/

i love it!I think you should turn this one shot into a full blown story!