Most of the paragraphs are cut off?

What will happen next time

Interesting chapter and plot and idea

Is Ili gonna be clinging on to naruto for ever or is she gonna learn not to be doing that?..tho she doesn’t know any better it’s kinda of annoying

Great job

I'm done with this story goodbye and good luck.

I read two chapters of this story, but I can already see the problems. You have the writing skills but you can’t form a plot that captures the reader’s attention. Parts of it also doesn’t seem logical. I don’t know if the rest of the story gets better, but when the plot isn’t good at the beginning, it impacts the likability that people read it.

This sucks

The way you managed the fight between team 7 and Zabuza's team is unrealistic. Zabuza should have won. He only lost because you made him a complete moron. Why would he go alone to fight when he had a team of 3 to help ? Why would only one member of his team come to help when he is in difficulty ? And why the last 2 members pretended to be hunters nin instead of just finish off the obviously exhausted and incapable of fighting back team 7 ? Because reasons I guess.
In canon it made sense because Haku is alone and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are fresh, Haku can't attack them without putting Zabuza in danger. But in your story all the members of team 7 are injured and Haku is not alone, the could have easly killed everyone. There was no reason to let them leave alive.

I think you got overly influenced by that moment of perverse content

So I read in thw comments that you have Sasuke kiss Hinata... So yeah, I'm out. I hate your story and I hope you fucking delete this piece of crap. Can't believe I waisted my time with this crap. Asshole.

This story requires revision. Grammar, and spelling, as well as ooc speech patterns.

Plz stop with ur sense of humor. I beg of you

co vv

I don't really like how assume just demanded to be trained and Jaraiya just said sure. I'm starting to get a little lost with this story.