This is probably the first piece of writing I have read that so accurately portrays the maze of feelings, and lack of feeling, that make depression and anxiety so sinister. Knowing who you are but then having your identity brought to question by your own mind. It's nauseating, exhausting, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. You captured it so well, I'm in awe. Every clinical description, list of symptoms, whatever, never truly shows what it's like to be living through depression. It can take the most stubborn and stalwart people by surprise. I work in healthcare and, as much as I hate to admit it, I used to have little sympathy for the "frequent fliers". Oh, so and so is back for ANOTHER anxiety attack? Take a pill, jeez. But then I hit a hard time in my life and it took me years to finally admit to myself I was sick, depressed. I didn't think life was worth living. I needed help and I couldn't get better all by myself. I count myself lucky to have had a wonderful, sympathetic, healthcare team who never judged and only helped. I never thought I'd be baring my soul to a stranger therapist, but I did it. I made it out the other side of that difficult time, not everyone does. That's how serious depression and anxiety are. They kill. Point being, it changed me. Now when I see patients coming in, seeking help, striving to keep going, I have the utmost empathy and compassion for them. Some people have a gift for empathy and don't have to live through it to help others effectively. I was not one if those people. Your work here will, I hope, give others who haven't had to live through depression a small window into it to help them see it from the inside. If mental health can be discussed and digested in a way that breeds understanding and compassion, then attitudes like the one I used to have, will change. Sigh, rant aside, I think everyone should read this. You're an amazing writer, I hope you can continue writing if you so chose. Thank you for this.

And there it is again. Maura is not the Chief medical examiner of the Boston Police department. She is the Chief medical examiner for the WHOLE commonwealth and she doesnt work for Boston Police Department. She works for the coroners office which is seperate from the police department. Her only connection to the police department is Jane and the fact that the morgue is in the same building. She is not answerable to anyone in that building.

Why is Maura referring to Cavanaugh as 'Sir'? He is not her boss. Maura is not a police officer so Cavanaugh has no authority over her at all. She is the chief medical examiner. Their only connection is that they work in the same building. Maura's only superior is the Governor.

:') thank you so much for writing this.

I'm re-reading this fic for the fifth time, and only NOW did I realize what Maura's thought meant about Dr. Gordon's nails...sheesh I'm slow XD

I reread this last week and it is still one of my favorite Rizzles. Well done and I think it does an excellent job of depicting depression and anxiety issues and how real they seem to those experiencing the illness.

Excellent story, thank you for writing it.

This is so heartbreaking and hitting me the most , i have my moments when i feel like this and you've managed to describe that feeling to a T.

Wow, this was so good that I am actually sad that it ended .
You did a marvelous work. Congrats.
P.s. It did help me.

So I know this is an old story, but I just found it, and I was blown away! It was extremely god. Just awesome! 2 thumbs up! :)

This story is older so I'm almost sure you won't read this. However, I suffer from depression and anxiety both. I really enjoyed this story. You did a wonderful job. Thanks. Arkielad

Man, dr. Gordon is so awesome. I love her.

Wonderful! And I can't wait to read the epilogue! I'm afraid I'll fall asleep if I read it now (no judgement on you, haha! It's past 1 am here and I'm exhausted!) and I want to be able to pay full attention! What an amazing piece though. Great job! Thanks so much for writing this!

Wow, I'll miss Dr. Gordon! Hope she's in the epilogue! ;-)

I've been reading this without reviewing because it's such a unique piece, it's hard to even put to words what I think about it. But this therapy session was amazing. Very well written with a wonderful OC in the therapist, and you made those points so well. Wonderful! I imagine this piece has helped a lot of people.