Look, fella, you don't need to break into your story to let us know zorpox is evil and you the author are not. That was obvious.

Other than that this was a good start.

Update

Well Done.

Good Job

nice

Even for this tale, convinving the mercenary without raising Kim's suspicion as to why they are communicating in spanish was convenient. Why not ask for his nutsack while Z is at it?

Does his entire plot rest in Drakken's hands currently?

Yamanouchi usually does get thrown in by this point of a Z story. But it's the first time I've seen them pleased with the event, I'll give you that.

Have you read this neat fic called Punchline by capwn. Shapping up to have several familiar aspects.

Really? I'm am disappointed capwn. You get you're kicks out of Zorpox, sure. Fair enough. It feels like you've condenced five chapters into a single one. Fast forward straight from A to Z. Glassed over inconvienient details like making sense. Ron's decent into madness is half the fun. Drawing out the the torturous loss of control. I feel cheated to have skipped that.

This isn't a story plot. This is fun. Playtime. This is putting Zorpox in a sandbox and letting the carnage take place as it may. Grand Theft Auto or the like. I knew the moment Betty warned Ron they were going to kill him. Getting past this little detail government agencies don't usually take murder as the preferred option, who warns him first? Seriously? Tell him they're on they're way with more pills and nacos.

I'm going to read on anyway. Because this IS going to be fun. I can't imagine why you labeled it drama.

Odd. Thought I had read and reviewed this before. Hmm, I probably remember it a bit off because there was mention of a Zorpox protocol in Punchline.

I wondered for minute if Ron always had these voices. Acts goofy, concentrates his thought process on video games and pets as a means of thwarting blocking out unsavoury thoughts. Or as a side effect from the drugs.

Post-Attitudinator event is cool. I was looking into a plot dealing with the side effects myself. Beat me to it. Very interested to read your take on it.

Didn't tell Kim? Yeah, alright. It's personal. There are small deatials they keep from each other. She ain't an idiot though either. Gets a wierdar going when something's up. Typical means of dealing with Kim for 90% of authors is to leave her oblivious. Soon find out how you handled her.

Interesting. look forward to reading more.

very interesting. i like.

I'm sorry for the confusion. I meant Six foot seven about how tall English was. We all make mistakes...especially when we're tired.

Are u being sarcastic about English's height or actully being serious because i know and have seen people who are 6 somthing and even 7 foot tall so 5'7 may be tall for some people that are more taller than that.

good story so far, but you made a big gun no no. "English withdrew his M203 Light machine gun" is what you wrote. The M203 is a grenade launcher that is mounted under a rifle or as a stand alone system. I believe that you wanted to go with a M249 the SAW or the M240 the Pig. it just something that bugs me as i have used every weapon that have in your story