you made me cry for that poor little foal...

Heh. The adorableness of Freya completely distracted me from any Mary-Suedom. Besides, the real test for a Mary Sue is how other characters act around her, and what little we've seen so far looks perfectly ordinary and sane to me.

This story has potential I will give it that. You have just enough information that If someone can put two and two together they can get the general look of each person/pony and WTF has happened. While leaving so little info that makes people wonder what's actually happening and people can still try and figure out the plot of this story

please update this fic with a new chapter i cant wait to see what happens next

and then?

1: That was amazing. No, wait, beyond amazing. Farther into the aamazing it goes. Except for that grisly part. I ended up imagining this. Please, please, please, please continue.

I do like this story so far.

That said, factcheck time: I was under the impression that Sethisto (admin/chief blogpony for EqD) was an Englishman? Not that that would change his being asleep and incommunicado, mind.

This needs more update.

Holy shit this is creepy and disturbing. Although it is INCREDIBLY well written for something so short. You did an excellent job, although I might say it could deserve a harsher rating.

You already got a review that points out some serious errors so I'm not going to go off on that. Too much.

"A mere five hours later*, the remainder of the Americas** was being swept into the light of day[special note], including the state of California***."

*And the governemnt of the USA did absolutely nothing when the president was ponified FOUR HOURS AGO?

**Alaska would be last, not California. Learn geography before you do things like this.

***Implying that California is somehow more important than Washington DC. Yes. That totally makes sense.

Special Note: Having your body forcibly and instantaneously changed into a pony, as well as your organs re-arranged, your skeleton bending over on itself... and you slept through the entire process? NOT POSSIBLE, even with pony logic in place, it's still NOT. POSSIBLE.

This is amazing! Do you mind if I write an expansion to this? Yeah, I need to take my turn at being a Mary-Sue also XD Anyways, I love the idea of the plot, and you made it seem REAL with the pony torture sequence. Even though it was dark, it probably would actually happen.

Okay then, I haven't reviewed any MLP stories yet, so this looks like a good start. As a brony who's more then a bit confused as to why there's so many 'humans turning into ponies' stories, including a whole universe based on the idea, I'm a little cautious about this just from the summary alone. But, it's not fair to judge a book by its cover, right?

'The Night. That's what the press have started calling it since the change started happening.'

It's vampires isn't it? Goddamn vampires, as if Twilight and the Fright Night remake wasn't enough.

'The changes were, of course, first notice on Twitter.'

First notice?

'At first no-one took it seriously. It was assumed that "OMG, woke up as a pony! #ponyfication" was a joke, a new meme that rode on the popularity of the TV show "My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic," but then the video hit YouTube.'

Why would people post that on twitter, instead of, say, contacting family, friends or authorities screaming "HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M A PONY GODDAMN HELP ME!" Wait, how would they use the computer if they have hooves? My brain hurts. And then the video turned out to be another mediocre remix of 'Avast Fluttershy's Ass', and the world turned back to normal.

'Amongst the usual cat vids and yet another dumbass kid dropping their crotch onto a stair rail as they attempted a skateboard trick came a video of a talking pony.'

Meh, seen it. When's the latest retsupurae coming up?

'Pastel colored, as one would expect from the show, but shockingly lifelike.'

That sounds like it'd hinge somewhere rather close to the uncanny valley. Creepy. _

'Within seconds accusations that the video was faked and was a stunt from Hasbro to promote the upcoming season of the show from which the meme came.'

Hasbro can't even make their actual MLP toys the correct colors of the characters, do people really think they'd sink that much money into that?

'Debates started raging on 4chan, ponychan, Equestria Daily comments, Facebook pages...'

And as usual when it came to those sites, the rest of the world didn't give a fuck.

'Even Pink Essence got in on the act since the pony in the video was a female who claimed to have been male before it happened'

Wait, ponyfication can result in both becoming a different species AND gender? The fuck?

'It remained something to be dismissed as a trivial fan phenomenon with an odd twist until eight hours after the start of the phenomenon.'

Wat. No one finds out anything else for EIGHT HOURS? I mean, people aren't checking the validity of the tape, trying to fidn more information and such? I mean this is the age of the internet, once people ponies exist it's gonna be all over the net. There's no where in the world where there could be a black hole of information.

'With the first tweet of the phenomenon coming from Hawaii and the video coming from Australia, it was only natural that there be no serious societal problems that should arise.'

Because those places are totally unimportant, right? Especially considering Hawaii is a U.S state and houses most of our Pacific naval bases, and Australia is one of the top powers in the pacific, and a member of the British Commonwealth. THOSE PLACES ARE KIND OF IMPORTANT IS WHAT I'M SAYING. Though maybe people might just think that the pony video is just another one of the death creatures inhabiting that hellhole of a nation continent.

'While the idea of a person spontaneously transfiguring into a pony wasn't one that could ever be taken seriously, at the least the inclination in so-called "western" nations would be to first quarantine then examine the subject.'

Um, you believe the response of the Government would be to react to this morally and sanely? What twisted fantasy world do you live in?

'The third-world nations of asia and the middle east were not quite so...liberal.'

BECAUSE ALL ASIAN AND MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRIES ARE THIRD-WORLD. Just ignoring Japan, South Korea, China, Taiwan, Turkey, etc. Granted I'll give you the authoritarian part for more then one of those places, but that was still poor word choice.

'The next video was the game changer. It showed a pony, a pegasus, tied by it's neck and hooves with a horrible clamp fashioned from jumper cables pinning it's wings together. It was being slowly dragged behind a car as veiled women and heavily bearded men threw stones at it.'

"When God created the horse, he said to the magnificent creature: I have made thee as no other. All the treasures of the earth shall lie between thy eyes. Thou shalt cast thy enemies between thy hooves, but thou shalt carry my friends upon they back. Thy saddle shall be the seat of prayers to me. And though fly without any wings, and conquer without any sword."

-The Koran

Either you know nothing about Islam, or you presented this just awfully. Were these terrorists? I assume not because there are women in the crowd with them, implying civilian action. Even if this was a fundamentalist country like Saudi Arabia, I think the responses of the local populace would be less 'OM MY GOD KILL IT' and more 'WTF MOJANG!' Bah, let me guess, Muslims are the bad guys right? And they're the only ones oppressing ponies? If I'm right on this I'm going to kill someone.

"Some sicko backed another car up to the pony, and the jumper cables, still clamped to the wings, were looped over the car's tow-hitch. Later analysis of the video's audio track pulled the men driving the car's counting down. It was hoped that there would be something to identify them, but all that could be heard was the arabic words for "three...two...one..." The revving of the engines, the chanting of the crowd, and all the background noise was drown out briefly by the terror and pain filled shrieks from the pony as it's wings were ripped off. When it wouldn't stop screaming, a terrible mix of a human-like voice and the high-pitched neighing screech equines have, some of the men from the crowd stepped forward with makeshift clubs from rebar, broken chairs, whatever they could find, and silenced the pony with their violence. It was dead in minutes."

GODDAMMIT I WAS RIGHT

I'm trying to find the verse in the Koran that says to kill people who turn into horses. I can't. I assume the people who turned into these tortured ponies were Muslims themselves, considering they'd be, y'know, living there. Unless they're tourists or something, though once again that's not explained.

"The worst part, and what caused the entire free world to stop and take notice, was that the pony was clearly a child. It was a tiny pony, and there was no cutiemark."

Just a random thought, would a porn star pony have a dick or vagina for a cutie mark?

...

I'm really trying to think of something other then the numerous questions I have. It's not working.

"The executives at Hasbro were woken in the middle of the night by media inquiries."

Wait, they're only just no responding? What about when this whole mess started with the Australian video and shit? ):

"The mainstream media was still treating the videos and social media storm as nothing more than a publicity stunt, now taken a terrible turn for pure tastelessness."

Once again, Hasbro, too lazy to do it even if they wanted to.

"The PR department from Hasbro, now on very good terms with the brony community, quickly and vigorously denied any involvement and began making calls."

To who, the brony committee?

"At first the calls didn't make it through to the nominal "leaders" of the bronies,"

Wait, there's actually a brony committee? And how do Hasbro execs have their phone numbers? Gah, so many questions.

"Indeed, the mostly American editorial staff of EQD were in bed and weren't expected to be awake for several hours yet."

Have you seen Sethisto post? That man's probably still up as I type!

"When the first brony who'd been ponyfied managed to answer, (hooves being significantly harder to use a mouse and keyboard with quickly) Hasbro and the bronies started comprehending the full import of what was happening."

HOW HAS NO GOVERNMENT AGENCY CAPTURED HIM AND DISSECTED HIM SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY!

"The middle eastern governments, especially Pakistan, where the first pony torture video came from, denied the phenomenon was occurring."

... PAKISTAN IS NOT IN THE MIDDLE EAST. IT IS PART OF THE INDIAN SUBCONTINENT. LEARN GEOGRAPHY. My god, that's like saying Poland is a part of Russia!

"Only those countries with an exceptionally high count of migrants from third world countries had any problems with violence, and those movements were quashed almost as soon as they started,"

Wait, why was there violence? Is it because IMMIGRANTS ARE TEH EVULZ AND DEY TUK UR JEBS? EXPLAIN FIC EXPLAIN.

"It turns out that unicorn police, even those with less than three hours of experience with their magic, can hurl a shockingly large number of tear gas canisters with startling precision,"

Wait, how did they hurl the cans without magic? Telekinesis? You said they barely have any experience with magic so OH MY GOD THE LACK OF EXPLANATION IT HURTS ME

"pegasus ponies, even when they've only been flying for the few hours since they woke up with hooves instead of hands that morning, are unbeatable at crowd control."

HOW? Tiny ponies seem like they'd be worse at crowd control then armed policemen with riot gear.

"some proud, some just plain too happy for words, it was suddenly clear that there was a new minority population in the world and they were it."

Opposable thumbs, who needs those? I've got a stamp on my ass!

"This is where my story begins.

I was woken up with a scream."

'GODDAMMIT CHRISTY YOU LEFT THE SINK ON ALL NIGHT AGAIN.'

Bleh, that was mediocre. You really need to improve your descriptions, your world-building, a lot in fact. It wasn't a god-awful self-insert sex thing, or shipping clop fic, so there's that. I'll be watching this, apprehens

Sounds very interesting, Looking forward to reading more. Also are you accepting OC characters?

I dunno man, turning into a pony- along with many others- sounds great to me. Sure I'd miss playing games well, but being any kind of pony would make up for it.

This story sounds EPIC. I'm jittery to find out what happens next, and you look like a very good writer! This plots original, awesome and exciting, and I find that to be the best thing for any fanfic story! You have earned yourself a fan .!

Take your time but update soon!