My... goodness. A trip to the dark side doesn't even BEGIN to describe this piece as a whole. I still don't know any back-story to Silent Hill and have decided I don't need to. I'm getting the gist of it just from reading this and I don't think I could stand it if I found even more dark resonance from the side characters to involve myself with as well.

One thing that pushes the creepy to epic levels... the whole thing with Konata and Soujiro. It has been played for titillation or laughs in countless doujin, but here - adding the psychological component of Soujiro creating a split-personality for himself in order to mentally justify raping Konata... and this is not delusion of the place they are in - it really happened. The darkness of her real life is what Konata is fighting against. And without the bond and love she has with Kagami she would have already been consumed.

Horror is not my preferred genre, but I have made an exception with this fic and I am glad I did. It is proving to be not only interesting, but a wonderful dissection and exploration of character. I know you have been busy in RL but I am glad you found the time to revisit this once more. See you next time.

peacepeace 'momo

Wow, another outstanding chapter! I'm glad I didn't lose patience. That last bit with the monster was quite exciting. It would've been interesting to actually see, however, the mental image of the creature and the chase was good enough. Keep it up, I'll continue looking forward to the rest of your work.

What I like more about this story is how a lot of things that were left unexplained, are explained in a way that fits perfectly the characters' actions. For example, Kagami being a lawyer, I always thought she could change the law taking advantage of her career, but never thought about of all the possible things, why she chose a lawyer?

But then, she being a lawyer, because she wants to change that law just explains it all, I don't know why I didn't think about it before, maybe I never cared about that question, but you, you're awesome.

Keep up the good work.

Yuri right from the getgo huh, anyways, i think i might continue this just to see what happens

Your written in this story is phenomenal. You have managed to not only capture the essence of the good silent hill games' horror, but also the town's feel of being sentient and dark. It is nice when an author can make a true horror story by using a silent hill type horror for it requires the use of psychological horror that is well done.

I just wanted you to know that I loved this story so much I recommended it on TVTropes. It's been a while since I read something so engaging. I particularly like the way you write all the monsters like they're the lost souls of people. They're all suffering through their own nightmare just like the main characters. I've gotten the feeling that Katahaba knows this, and really feels pity for them. I think that's why he got mad when Konata spit on the grind dog thing earlier.

I also got the feeling Kagami is pitying the monsters as well. I love the way you write her with such a big heart. She felt bad for the Takers who were stuck looking for things important to them that they could never find. Also when James mentioned the language of the spirits thing, she instantly thought about how the lack of a language barrier could benefit everybody rather than herself. This interpretation of Kagami is really very loving even if she's usually portrayed as a more rough type of person, I can't help but like this version of her.

Please continue as soon as you can, I know you're busy, but I love this story very much.

Wow... Box you really know how to tug at those hear strings, I actually cried a little reading the part about Konata. I just cannot get over how well you write and how well you change he readers feelings within sentences, no within words! I was all angry at the start of the chapter thanks to Mc. Stupid, then I was all hyped during the fight, then I nearly broke down at the Konata part...

Just, well done! I mean truly you are amazing and I expected nothing less from you master Box!

Wow, another very well written chapter, well first half of one. I really liked this one. It added more awesomeness than I could count. Kinda gave a melancholic vibe. The backstory for Konata was very interesting, considering now I can see why the place has her here. Of course, there has to be a reason for Kagami as well, at least a much bigger reason than the obvious. I can't wait to see more.

It certainly is some very smooth writing. And those three know Konata? Adopted children caught in skewered time? No idea... XD

I don't feel like I can critique anything though, actually I just feel a bit sick. Which I guess is a success on your part.

Looking forward to the next part.

Well done my friend, well done. This chapter was a fantastic read. It was a long chapter but you needed each and every word. This was, in a word, excellent.

I have all sorts of great things to say about the first half of the story, like the excellent fleshing out of Katahaba's personality and the discovery of Carla and the trade made for her return.

From what you have written previously and then here with Carla and her father, I gather that Silent Hill feeds on the darkness in one's soul. So of course it would prefer a scumbag, murdering father's black soul over a child's considerably lighter one.

But then *wham* we get an unexpected twist, the revelation of Konata's upbringing. That was like... wow, dude. It was so disturbing and yet so riveting. Honestly, I think this interpretation of Konata's backstory is pretty fucking brilliant and pretty ballsy. Just... wow.

You went much more in depth than anticipated with her back story and in doing so showed us just how deep the bonds between Konata and Kagami are. Pretty gosh darned masterful. I eagerly await the next chapter.

peacepeace

Finally found the time to take a look at this. This chapter was good. You fleshed out James a lot more here. I honestly wish I knew a bit more of the back story with silent hill. You make it sound like he came to this place on for a reason, how he got in an why he would want to do this are far past me.

Kagami's impassioned speech was very well done. She defensively dose relay on Koanta and her other friend for support a lot.

For the first time I liked Konata's part more. You actuly showed what she was thinking a lot more here then in any other chapter. It surprises me that she seems a little weaker emotionally then Kagami with the way this story has been going. It kind of struck me that she had become the rock in the relationship over time.

Those manikins were just plain creepy and the whole moving when your not looking thing is great. It seems like all of this world is a science experiment gone wrong, well with some magic and religion mixed in.

Oh and what was that second anime you referenced with Yuuko and Mio.

Again I can't wait to see more of this, it seems like its going to take a lot more writing.

I can't say I have much knowlege of dialogue punctuation, but I can say that didn't have any problems following the chapter at a smooth pace. Perhaps a few (non-dialogue) scentences that I double took, but that's normal.

This time, the transition between Kagami's and Konata's view points was really mean! (That's a complement XD). Despite knowing it wasn't going to happen so easily, for a moment I couldn't help but think that they had run into each other. That was evil writing, good job.

My only suggestion is using the gaming term "sequence breaking" rather than "cutting corners" in this sentence; "Looks like there's not going to be any cutting corners in this place," Reminded me of the GBA Metroid games.

I am really enjoying this. As always your story just gets more and more interesting as things progress. I'm not exactly sure if some of the creatures from Silent Hill you wrote about are original creations by you or if they are ones from the game. I haven't played all of the games in the series as of yet so I'm slightly out of the loop but that doesn't destroy any motivation. Your description of the various creatures is awesome. I especially like that stalker demon thing that'll chase you till it gets what it wants from you, that and those weird creatures in the beginning that react to light with like a trillion teeth that ate that boss creature to death. Btw, brilliant strategy, I kinda wanna see that in a movie now.
Anyway, I really look forward to your next chapter. Please continue to make your story one of my favorites.

Great chapter and good to see you putting stuff out a bit more often. Katahaba part was very interesting, he is extremely good at reading Koanta, makes me wounder who he was to her. The reoccurring Kanata was also well done, I want to know what these deeper areas are like, i can't see how anything is worse then were they are. Some of Kanata's comments make me wounder about her, did she die in this place or come here as some kind of spirit latter. Either way its clear that she had been their a long time.

I have to say, you just write Kagami a lot better than any other character. It's interesting to see how well the environment continues to toy with her.

But her realization of it was even better. When I think about Kagami's character it's odd to think of someone so smart and driven has her being so week. But she defanetly is. Her content worry about her looks and her loneliness really come to a head in this story and explains why she is effected so much more deeply then Konata is in this situation. Also Kagami dose not seem to be able to take anything at face value, witch makes this even worse for her. It is good to see her starting to grow some balls by making the mad dash past the takers.

That little part explaining the takers last moments of a normal life was very well done and honestly made me shiver a bit.

Again you do a great job of writing a very dark story, I hope to see more soon.

Glad to see this as I was taking a break from MY writing. I think I'm getting the feel for this world now. This chapter combined with re-reading the previous one at least really clarified the situation in my mind.

Although plenty of mysteries still abound, the main point is that Kagami and Konata not only have to face their fears, but embrace them as well, if they are going to get out of this with their sanity intact.

I get the feeling that Konata's chapter is going to be pretty intense. I can't wait to see it unfold. I hope they find each other and beat this place together. But even more so, I want to find out the connection between Konata and Katahaba and Kanata (have we even firmly established that it IS Kanata? I know it was heavily hinted, but...)

Another fine outing and I'm glad you were able to find the time to get it posted. Don't overdo... I know you need to focus on your business and I'm glad you got through the hard weather a couple months back.

No matter how long it takes, I will be riding along until the end. So, do your best. _

peacepeace,

'momo