I knew it was gonna be Azul when she mentioned the medical knowledge. Not only that, but when you have someone cloaked so that you can recognize them, you make it obvious that it's someone you will recognize. By trying to make it a surprise, you end up eliminating the surprise factor.

I'm not really saying this just to you, but to everybody who uses this technique to surprise the audience. Even in video games, TV shows, movies, books, etc. By hiding someone under a cloak in this manner, you basically say that you know who it is.

I could be wrong though. It might just be that I'm that experienced in matters like that. So maybe it's only me who's not surprised who it was. And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I don't like it. But if you hadn't put that flashback in, I still wouldn't have been surprised. But only because I wouldn't have known that she knew him. I would've been surprised when she said at the end, "I never thought I would patch you up again.". That would've surprised me, but I wouldn't have known how she knows him.

Basically to summarize what I'm trying to say... How you did that was in fact a very professional style of writing. I would assume that you were an experience writer with that style.

~The Dark Stallion, Alec~

Well, it seems that Ironhoof can be injured. Hopefully they'll get him to help before it's too late.

My comments about the flaws still stand with this chapter. And my advice about requesting a Beta Reader does as well.

As for the chapter itself, it was really emotional. I even invoked an emotional response from me, and that's saying allot. I'm looking forward for the next chapter.

~The Dark Stallion, Alec~

This story looks good, and in my opinion, it has great potential. It was a great beginning for a story.

However, it does need some work grammar-wise. Most of the flaws are in the lack of punctuation. Also, you've made paragraphs and added quotation marks where they weren't needed.

I would suggest that you request a Beta Reader to help you with your story.

~The Dark Stallion, Alec~

I enjoyed reading about the sequence of events, but the story feels unpolished and unprofessional. The grammar is extremely distracting, and occasionally a single word is echoed too many times in quick succession, making it sound awkward. Overall, all the ideas behind it are interesting, but this is the kind of story that would benefit GREATLY from a proofreader. Commas in particular should be put to more use. Once that's set straight, you'll have a fun little adventure story going.