This story is good, and has a lot of potential, however your grammar needs a lot of work (I mean no offense either). If you would like, you can PM me and I would gladly beta read your stories. If not then my advice is to find someone who would be willing to.

i like this i want more i command thee more more more more more more more more more more more
yea yea
you should totally write another thing

i wish there is a chapter 2

Awsome story w

The ony thing I suggest is to get someone to check over your story and fix all the grammar issues. The main problem is just that most verbs aren't in the right tense or some sentances just don't sound right.

Other than that good job! Keep writing, rune factory needs more yaoi smexyness w

heheh ;)

I like this, there isn't many fanfics for the new Rune Factory 3 game but out of the ones there are this is my favourite.