Willing suspension of disbelief works for me. So far, I am loving it.

Loving it so far. Looking forward to some Lucas whump. I sincerely hope you haven't abandoned this story :)

Your writing is beautifully descriptive, and I think you have captured the complexity of Lucas' character and background really well. This story has great potential, please keep writing. Thank you.

Sorry, I've been away so have only just started catching up. Very much looking forward to reading more.

Lynn
xxx

I love the description in your story and am very interested to find out what is going to happen.

I like what you've written. It's lyrical and almost poetic in places. I love the dynamic...first season, where everyone is still not quite sure of each other. Please keep writing.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before but you have some really lovely imagery going on. I love the way that you set the scene with such vivid descriptions. It really transports the reader into the story. The little details (like when you talk about Lucas being hungry) just make the whole thing come together really nicely. I loved it!

There's also a lot of nice dialogue. Especially with the interactions between Lucas and Nathan. I always love it when I can clearly imagine each character saying the dialogue, and you've certainly succeeded. ( :

"I'm a little apprehensive about leaving Krieg with a lighter and fuel. You never know what – or who – he might set on fire," Great line! And so true!

You're setting up the story nicely. I like the steadily rising toneo and I'm certainly looking forward to the next chapter. Finally, honestly, I don't have any nitpicks for this chapter. Well done!

Cheers!

I can't say anything about the characters as I have never even heard of the series (shame on me, I know) but I must say that your writing is incredibly poetic and moving. It is quite a beautiful sight to behold. There are, as you mentioned, little grammar mistakes but for English not being your first language, I would have to say that this is still incredibly well done.

Thematically, this is very good. The setup is paced well, and I have a good picture of this character despite knowing absolutely nothing about SeaQuest.

However, be mindful that there are no line spacing options on ffnet, so paragraphs can be chunky and daunting. Breaking them up a little bit wouldn't hurt at all.

Review Tag:

Not a bad start. My only advice is that you should separate the paragraphs in this chapter more. They're too long, and it makes it difficult to read. Also, you do a lot of "telling" in this chapter. It would help if you gave the boy some dialogue or thoughts, or possibly you could wrote this in first person. Otherwise, keep up the good work.

Hey there. Only passingly familiar with the series (watched it when I was young), so can't comment on canonicity.

You obviously have a natural way with description and a solid command of language. I wonder, though, if the description isn't slightly too thick for a prologue? You have a lot of exposition of Lucas's background, and - even while barely remembering the show - even I remember that he was the whiz-kid on the show. I think you could cut down some of the verbiage in the second paragraph; I'd recommend you keep the 'dripping honey on a cold winter's day' should you rework, though, as it stuck out as particularly nice.

If you do want to keep the description, I'd suggest two things to tighten this: Breaking up the rather large paragraphs into smaller ones, so it's easier to scan and won't feel quite so long, and perhaps showing, rather than telling, his issues. Set this in a scene where he's socially awkward and lonely?

In the "He had been wanting" paragraph, your numbers are off - eight, eleven, fourteen are fine, but then you repeat sixteen twice, and I was expecting them to progress. Maybe change the first fifteen to sixteen?

"Unreachable. Untouchable. Unharmed." - I like this. It's crisp and each word is different enough that I don't feel like you're just doing a thesaurus dump.

With regards to the song, a quick fix: "The same old song ringing in his ears: /Too young to be old; too old to be young./ - where the /s indicate italics.

"let the doors close behind him, like they'd (or they had) done so many times before."

This is very well-written but it's also very descriptive, and so you run a risk that readers unfamiliar with the fanbase might not be hooked by the story in the same way that your readers in-fandom might be. If you're already decided on that count, then sorry for mentioning it, but I would have felt like I was cheating you not to mention it. Your writing is strong, though, and there are very finely crafted sentences herein, so it's definitely solvable if you do want to solve it.

Hope this is somewhat useful!

I'm really, really enjoying this story, in particular your descriptive way of writing and setting the scene. I also love how you're portraying Lucas, and the humorous descriptions of Ben :) A selfish request, but please keep updating! I can't wait to see what happens next!

I'm loving this story. Internal dialogue of Lucas is great!

Actually, it does state in canon that Carol and Nathan moved to the Yucatan before her death but after Robert's 'death'. Obviously from third season, we find out Robert never died, but I digress. Anyway, I just felt the need to explain. But, on to the chapter...I do enjoy how you're building things up. I enjoy the character interaction and dialogue. I like Lucas' thoughts and how everyone's worried about Ben working with fire. Something tells me Lucas won't listen to Nathan's wishes, though. Something bad is going to happen soon, isn't it? Well done and eagerly looking forward to more. :)

I have to say that I really do like the way that you write Nathan. He seems very realistic, just like the man that we know and love from canon. The interaction with Henley was really nicely done and it brought the chapter together nicely.

I'm looking forward to the continuation of this. Your style is refreshingly unique and it makes the story very interesting to read.

One suggestion that I have regards the dialogue formatting. Typically, you start a new paragraph for each new person speaking so that the reader can follow along. But that'll be a very easy fix and it's a mistake that I've seen many native English speakers make. But beyond that, your English is really splendid.

Cheers!