This is awful.
Absolutely OOC.
Borys

Awesome! Michelle reminds me of, well, me.

Ummm... I do realize that this was completed almost nine years ago, but... please, oh please tell me that this was a parody! I'm sorry, but your character (or, characters) fit every single requirement for a Mary Sue! It was really not that great.

Everyone else was also WAY out of character, and it felt like that plot was made up on the spot! The whole Legolas/ pregnacy thing was just wierd and it was... just wierd and... wierd.

I'm going to check out your other stories and hope that they've improved in nine years. This wasnt too terrible considering how long ago it was posted... except for the characters. everything but the characters (OCs and other wise) was good.

Hi!

I think that this story is funny but really unrealistic. They didn't have indoor plumbing in Middle Earth, let alone electricity/hair dryers/showers! I highly doubt they had moisturiser and stuff too.

It's good that your grammar and sentence structure is mostly correct, but 'Ok' is an abbreviation... it should be spelled out as 'Okay' instead. In addition, I doubt that the characters would truly speak in slang and modern lingo. It seems kinda (okay, VERY) Mary Sue-ish that Legolas (the object of her affection) is the only one that is impressed by her. I highly doubt that Aragorn, leader of the Dunedain, Isildur's Heir, would be 'scared' of a fifteen year old girl, especially since this is a chauvinistic society where women are seen as weak and helpless.

Uh, I realise you've probably improved a lot since this was from 9 years ago. Sorry if I offended you in anyway, I just had to get this off my chest.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude but...none of these things exsist in Middle-Earth! PLEASE tell me this is a parody! Michelle, Clare, Mary-Jo, Becky, and Tracey aren't even names that exist there! They are cliche names in the 21st century.

Why would Boromir bring his 15 year old neice to Rivendell? Who, by the way is nonexistant since Faramir hasn't met Eowyn yet. And even if he did, she wouldn't be allowed to go on the quest with them. As in Middle-Earth they think that 'women have no place in war'. Which is stupid and sexist, but how they thought.

I will in fact, give you props for going book-verse and getting your facts right.

I will not, however, give you any props for your obnoxious characters.

Since I want to end this review with a compliment, I will tell you that you have a lot of potential, but you need to work on characters and plots. Your grammar and writing style is excellent.

~ xThatxOnexChick

"Boromir would turn in his grave if we hadn’t sent him over a waterfall"

BLOODY FUNNY! Couldn't stop laughing a that.

*flames*

WTF? Did you even read Lord of the Rings? I don't think so.

1. How the hell did Faramir get a kid?

2. If Boromir did have a niece he sure as hell wouldn't have taken her to Rivendell with him. First of all, he didn't even know where it was and second of all, he went to Elrond to ask his guidance about deciphering a dream he and Faramir had.

3. If Boromir had taken his imaginary niece with him to Rivendell than Elrond definitely wouldn't have let her join to Fellowship. He was reluctant to let Pippin join the Fellowship but eventually he gave in because of he and Frodo's close relationship.

4. If Elrond by some miracle let Michelle join the Fellowship it would totally go against the book because there are supposed to be nine members of the Fellowship to fight against the nine ringwraiths.

5. What the hell kind of name is Michelle? It doesn't even sound like a name that would be used in Middle-Earth. Michelle is one of the most generic names that would be used in our time.

HI SILVA!

NIKKI SAYS HI TOO!

Just letting you know that as short as this chapter may be, it's lovely!

Wow, dude, I *never* say lovely. Where'd that come from? O.o

(Dez)

PEOPLE! Lives. GET THEM! They're not expensive.

lol, that was funny, what with the tv and the raving lunatic men. i now see that the modernism is meant to be out of place but i wasnt sure at first cuz in some stories the modernism is not put in to be funny, but is just a part of the story. i.e. in a potc fanfic the heroin has a shower and it wasnt supposed to be humourous.

your story is really funny, but it could definately be improved by better writing and a bit of middle earth-ism. mascara? blow dryer? shower? Michelle? other then that im enjoying your story immensly.
.net (really good site for fanfic authors)

MEEP! YOU KILLED BOROMIR! I know he's supposed to die but...but...*sniff* but it's BOROMIR! :( *goes and cries* (Still love the story tho)

Her name is Michelle...why? That's not even kind of a middle earth name. Ugh, she's so obnoxious.

Geez, Ginniliel warned me about you. I should have listened...

LMAO i love this! poor legolas... now he has THREE girls chasing him around... plus his millions of fangirls

*chases the fellowship w/ a butterfly net* I'LL CATCH YOU YET, MY DEAR SILVAN PRINCE!

~

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields