You use "male" and "female" alot, that's appropriate when you talk about animals or in a scientific paper, in this case it all should be other synonyms like "man","boy","guy" and etc.

I finally reread and inhaled the story over the course of 2 days and damn did it feel good to reread such a well-written piece. This fandom has died off over the years but the pieces that are still going are so worth the read and reread that I never mind it. To be honest my only hopes for the endgame of this is that our hapless hero gets a happy ending and kanako gets to join in with him. I always feel bad she never gets her happy ending so often than not so I always root for her to be happy with her beloved oniisama.

It's been over a year since your last post, my friend. Given a lot of what's going on with COVID-19 I seriously hope you're not sick right now. Since it struck in January and spread to now, I hope where you are you are taking care of yourself.

That being said, let us know when you can get back to writing. A lot of folks would give (were they insensitive) a lot of zingers about the schedule slips. However, I know this has to be serious, and I hope you weren't hospitalized in the process.

Hi, it's a nice remix of the original story. However, just like excluding the lemon parts of the story and posting them somewhere else (with links), I think the same should be done with any disturbing or violent scenes as I know these are part of the story but didn't enjoy them. So an option to skip these parts without missing the main story would be great. Please consider. Thanks

Hi, it's a nice remix of the original story. However, just like excluding the lemon parts of the story and posting them somewhere else (with links), I think the same should be done with any disturbing or violent scenes as I know there are part of the story but didn't enjoy them. So an option to skip these parts without missing the main story would be great. Please consider. Thanks

I know this story was written years ago but I needed to point out a few things. Love Hina is set in the year 1999, not everyone had mobile phones at the time and they certainly didn't have much gaming or music capability. Not to mention that the iPod came out in 2001 yet you mentioned it this chapter.

But even more importantly is Haruka willing to pay a college drop out 1,500 yen ($15)/hour for untrained work and making it sound like she is paying less than acceptable when a quick Google search shows that the CURRENT minimum wage of Japan is 874 yen ($8)/hour. Imagine how much lower it would be 21 years ago.

My advice is to point out in the first chapter that you are moving the starting year of the story from 1999 to 2003 or something similar to avoid the technology shock. As for the wage, well I feel it would be fair for Haruka to pay Kitsune 600 yen/hr for basic under the table work. 15$ an hour for cleaning tables? Wow man sign me up, who needs college when auntie Haruka can set you up like that

Great job

Holy shit this fic is 9 years old.

Alas, 2019 is nearly gone and no new stuff since late April :(

I hope this year got better for you, for we miss your work, Greydon. A few were in mourning after the WTF final season of "Game of Thrones" so when real life crashed in, it hurt :(

Everything had been quite good so far, but I feel that these 2 characters, the police officers really 'sobraban' they didn't really fit in the current narrative and are extra elements that are impairing what would have been a fanfic centered around a different MC in the same setting, but with you choice of using them as a plot device you have deviated from the previous line.

It seems that Im going to have to let this fanfic go. What a shame,

Recommended to give it a try :D
So Just Do It

Quite an interesting story to get a review from Iran, of all places

Fan fiction and anime. About the only places where your desires that will never happen in real life can take place

The way you explained the majority of the gun tactics puts me in the mindset of military training

Why is this story captivating?