Aww... nice job! Love the variety.

How could I have not seen this before? *glomps Joyce*

This is long, long overdue, but yeah, HP DH PT 2 was epic. XD Anyways, I really loved this. It angsty and oh-so-heartbreaking, and it actually makes you feel sorry for a character who was quite underdemiciated - haha, Bedtime Stories - underappreciated, I mean. ;) I love the emotion you put into this, and I didn't exactly notice any mistakes. Well, except for one part:

"She dumped them on the floor and removes their belts, putting back each pair of pants as she did so"

"Removes" should have been "removed". You know, since everything else is written in past tense. But all in all, I think that's all. :)

I just really feel sorry for not reviewing soon enough. XD But at least I'm reviewing now. So...yeah.

I love you Joyce for dedicating this to me. ;) You never know, someday, I might to the same. XD (if i stop being a lazy-butt, that is.)

Heyoo, Joyce. ;) It's been so long since I last reviewed anything, so if this one sucks, I'm so very sorry.

Anyways, I thought this was quite original and the grammar and spelling was all in check (which isn't a surprise, of course ;]).

Actually, I thought it was pretty good except for one thing: I think it would have been a better story if Jonah's "therapy" wasn't drinking, 'cause you know what I'd expect him to do despite everything that's ever happened to him - make more music. Because that is him - music is his life and soul, and even though life gets a little crappy along the way, music will always be his escape. Not that this was entirely OOC, it's just that I figured it would have been better if Jonah just made music, regardless if it was going to be popular or not. And it could still be angst - you could've written about how writing music pains him, for it reminds him of everything that happened - and yet, it's all right, 'cause for a moment, his soul's free and he forgets the fire that's eating away at his mind.

So yeah, I liked this, but the characterization could have been improved on a little more. ;) Hopefully, this review satisfied you. :D

P.S. Would you mind reviewing "the traitor's kiss" and/or "remnants of a haunting dream"? 'Cause I just really love getting reviews from you, for I know that they'll always be good. ;) If you don't, though, that's a'right. I just wanted that out there. :D

Okay, so I promise that I read this when you first updated it and I found the alert in my email... I just felt lazy and didn't review right away. But then your post in Victory is Ours made me feel guilty so now I'm reviewing it just for you.(:

Anyway, this one makes me kind of sad... although when I read it I was really tired and I just kind of laughed because I was feeling rather mean and long story short I was just in the mood for nothing light and fluffy. Or I guess I could have been... ANYWAY. So I'm sad that Jonah gets drunk every day but I must admit it's realistic.

I think it's funny how he keeps asking for one more drink- it's like when you're tired in the morning and you keep telling your mom five more minutes, pleeeeease? And now that I think about it, the whole thing is kind of sarcastic, especially when he writes that nice note to Lily and lies about his choices.

Also, I'd just like to say that I appreciated "Oh, just the fact that his mom disowned him..." etc. I don't know why, but it sometimes bugs me when people write thoughts in italics right after a question is asked, and I think it's because if I were reading it out loud no one would realize what was actually being said. And it's kind of really stupid for me to be annoyed with something like that, especially since I don't read out loud to people very much, but still... I'm just glad that you worded it well right there. (And I realize that writing in first person would make that annoying situation really hard to avoid, but... yeah, whatever. Ignore my OCDness for a moment, please.)

Anyway. Those are my thoughts. Hope you enjoyed them, since I enjoyed this in my strange mood the other day when I read it...(:

mona

SCHIST IF YOU RECEIVED ANOTHER REVIEW, THAT WAS FFN GLITCHING. (:

haha; anyway - this was beautiful, Mummy :D I couldn't help but feel sorry for Jonah and thought it ended rather realistically, instead of with him deciding to turn his life around. He /was/ drunk after all ;)

Thanks loads for the dedication, Joyce. (: It means a lot to me.

x
drew

/this is actually for chapter nine, yo ;D

goodness

aww...poor Jonah. :(

hahaha you should have dedicated the previous chapter to Apple. Like, you know, Mac? Will? McIntyre? ohgod I'm being punny. Sorry. :L

but it was lovely as always, mummy-dearest. I loved it. (:

x

drew

I like Greek gods. xD

Nice job, Joyce. :) Dan is really in character. But I actually thought he would draw the ninjas first. xD

TG

I loved this! Dan wasn't OOC, yay! So many people make him OOC, and though it shames me to say so, I do too, at times...I just find him a bit hard to nail, even though he would seem easy. I mean, sometimes he's all goofy and idiotic and childish, and next he's all deep, emotional and dark...

Good job, I really enjoyed this. Update soon, please!

Once again, you have seriously impressed me with this chapter. How do you write like this? I totally jealous...you're an awesome writer!

:)

-Lily

Flames...you must be kidding me! How could anyone ever possibly flame this story? It's very good. You have absolutely perfect grammar; thank the Lord for that! Bad grammar brings out my evil side...

Normally, I'm not one for drabbles. They bore me beyond belief. But something about this made me keep reading...and that's truly, truly saying something when it comes to me. So, congrats on that!

Overall, this is an excellent story...so far, that is. I have to read the next chapter and so on...

Very good job, I really liked this! In fact, as I'm looking at the little blue paragraph below me that's saying, "offer tips of inprovement," I'm realizing that this isn't possible; I just can't think of any tips; it was too wonderful...

*racks brain for possible tip*

Nope. Can't come up with a single thing. I tried, I really did, but I failed...not nessecarily a bad thing, of course!

Thank you so much for adding a wonderful story to the 39 Clues fandom. Certainly much better than mine...in fact, I think I need to edit my character...I fear she's turning into a Mary-Sue...

*shudders*

Anyhow, wonderful job!

:)

-Lily

See ya in another life, brotha! (Yeah, in case you're wondering, which you're probably not, I totally stole that from LOST...)

First of all, thanks so much for the dedication, Joyce! :DD

Haha, this was funny. xD I'm glad school's out so I don't have to go through any more quizzes like that. xD Though I like Greek mythology. :/

ERG. Back on topic. Too bad there are no points for artistic ability on the average social studies test.

This was good. :D

Bahaha. That gave me a good laugh that I kind of didn't realize how much I really needed it until I laughed.(: Thank you.

That was very amusing to read. :)

Emmy