Awww! *pout* well, we will continue on some other time then.

aww i hope you get ur stuff back; i know what that's like. good luck.

As long as you continue to write this story, I and many other readers probably don't care. Just don't stop writing the story, ok?

what? nooo! these chapters totally rocked! TT

Kya! i love this so far! please continue, and do you like the major i personally think he's somewhat cool. felicity is so cool too. deomns just rock on a personal level. oh yeah and real vampires don't SPARKLE!

Great chapter Ash this chapter was touching and yet sad at the same time you are a genius update soon ok and let me know if y need anything ok

Hey Ash great to see your back my friend and sorry if I didn't review because when I got back from boot camp the Internet was not working anyway great chapter Ash update soon as possible my friend

'Noooooz Shebu! Don't steulz muh cookie!' or something like thut."

"(eye twitch)...I don't sound like that..." i said in a pouty tone. I don't sound like that! He laughed at me.

"Sure vou don't Ve, sure vou don't."

lol

-Claps hands and jumps up and down before hugging you- Thank you! I find it much easier, and more enjoyable to read now that the punctuation and capitalization are much better!

Very awesome chapter Ash and good luck in band camp and I'm going to boot camp for the rest of summer anyway update as soon as you can Ash

You need to work on both your spelling and your punctuation, i's are always capitalized. Example:

Incorrect 'i went to the grocery store.'

Correct, 'I went to the grocery store.'

Not only that but you need to spread things out a bit, when all your sentences are in one big clump it gets very confusing. That and there isn't really a need to describe your character on the very fist chapter.

Make us wonder about her looks, give us little tidbits as to what she looks like. The same goes for her past, don't tell us everything at once, string it out.

Ash my friend you are a great artist and I really mean my good friend oh and I've wondering if the Captain and Fe know each other from the past anyway update as soon as you can good luck my friend

this is a very good story my friend I think this is gonig to be an interesting story please update soon and I think that the Captain and Felicity are going too have a interesting relateship please update soon my frind