i really love this personally i think the story should have been like this

This was perfect, I love this short story. Jacob had the ability to bring her from her misery and he succeeded with a kiss to the wrist and then kisses everywhere. Really a nice story that is well written with good characters.

Great one shot!

Yeah...like, you should have continued it but I get it was "just a kiss". The beginning was real poetry of soul-searching though ... my favorite part!

Pavarti, That was amazingly perfect! Perfectly in character, really. It felt perfect natural in flow and ease of pace. I loved it and defiantly was ready for it to end.

Oh Pavarti, that was so beautiful. I loved it so much! Reading the progression of Bella's feelings for Jacob was such a treat. You showed perfectly the amazing person Jacob truly is. The first part where you described how Bella wanted to do something special for him and make him happy and the part about his mother being taken from him and his sisters abandoning him brought tears to my eyes. I would so love it if you would consider writing a second chapter after the contest is over. It would be a joy to read.

Wowzaz! I really loved this story! Happy and awkward, sensual and sweet...and there was pizza - Jackpot! heheheh... can we have more once the comp is over pretty pretty pretty please? *puppy dog eyes*

This was awesome. Your writing flowed very smoothly and I thoroughly enjoyed the metaphors and adjectives you used to describe the situation and Bella's progression. That might sound like the praise of an English teacher lol but really it's just the appreciation of someone who enjoys reading good literature. Thank you for this.

This story is completely awesome! I loved it so so much.

love it

Short but full of sweetness, loved it!

That was awesome. More pls?

P.s the story repeats after the end so I thought I was only half way done (

Oh gosh, this was actually pretty good :)

OMG this is awesome! I loved it. Especially how Jacob had no clue what to do which in turn made Bella take the lead. Who would have thought that Bella would be this confident? Only you Pav. Wish it continued though ;-)

I loved how you made Jake so innocent, 'cuz he is! Shame on Bella for seducing him. How'd she get to be such an expert.(especially being tutored by Mr. Sparkles).Too many movies?

Anyhow, I was apalled that your story is duplicated on this site. You need to email the hosts to fix it. I had to do that too, only my story was missing words. Good grief.

My only question is how in the world did she resist him for so long? LOL. I don't mind saying that it wouldn't hurt me in the least if you win first place. This was sooo good!