...I'm not gonna be sleeping tonight anymore...

ok i'm doing this story for my book report due in tomorrow

O.O My God. Just my GOD.

Bloody Pokémon anime fics are by far my favourites and I like the way this whole scenario played out The OCs are surprisingly fantastic, as I can see they all have their flaws and characteristics like an OC should. Everyone is in character, especially Ash (which is why I LOVE this because I can't even keep him in character...XD), and it has it's moments of humour ("Trap's gay!") and terror ("You will regret crossing me.") I'm curious about when you're going to touch up on Tio and Tiana in a different Pokémon story (I've already read Seizensetsu), and I like how Langley acts how she would in the "real" Pokémon world.

But I felt there were /several/ scenes that lacked an amount of description. Some parts felt very bland, but the descriptions in some parts, such as the moves, were pretty good. I kept losing who was speaking, as you went ahead and wrote the dialogue anyway and I got extremely confused. Please try and make this easier to tell who's speaking in future stories.

And the last thing...KodakShipping. Dear God, I think it's one of my OTPs for Pokémon now :D I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE the way it's portrayed in this, with everyone being in character and Trip acting all Trip-like and denying anything. The little heartfelt moment just KILLED me. ASDFGHJKL

Anyways, this is a remarkable one-shot (and it's so LONG; I'm impressed!) and I will leave a review on Seizensetsu when I can find the time. Cheers.

Wolfie

Brilliant one shot, I can see that you put a lot of effort into this story and really liked how grim it was and also enjoyed the twins, even though they were not technically related.

I'd say poor Langley, but the bitch really got what she deserved. Poor Beartic though...

This is a great Oneshot! Pretty dark and gruesome, and I love Trip. Overall, awesome job. I get pretty pissed at Georgia/Langely too, so I don't care what you do to her?

This is pretty dark, but it's definitely still awesome. Great job! :) And I think Langley totally deserved it...

Cool story. Wow, those twins are monsters! Also nice to see Trip get some focus. And I loved Iris being so dedicated to saving Langley; always nice to see a character care about their rival deep down. And where IS Team Rocket anyway?