Interesting follow-up to the episode. Your recreation of Lynn's past fit very well with the character. Steve's emotions were spot-on and I loved Maggie's character. A sequel to this would be nice.

Thanks, Beth Palladino

Beautifully written story, but you MUST finish it! Poor Steve never gets the girl...he deserves it now! :)

its good u should right a part 2 every one would read it ur good righter keep up the good work and think about part 2 ok

I LOVE UR STORY BUT WHAT HAPPENDS NEXT PLEASE RIGHT ANOTHER IF U DO PLASE THAT ME NO THANKS,
SHELLY

Absolutely, positively wonderful job. What a heart wrenching journey. I enjoyed this very much. I haven't seen the episode referred to here, but you did a wonderful job of making it easy to understand. Thanks for sharing.

Chap. 4 is interesting. I can picture flirtatious banter as they discuss history.

and, a "wet kiss" makes me think about a dog slobbering on me. How about a soft kiss? so much more sensual. whatever.

:)

beautiful babe

Hey,

I'm on to chapter 3 - I was thinking maybe something would happen to Mags.

I'm wondering about the potted plants.

Does everything need to be in the story for a reason? I could only picture the potted plants. I don't really have any image of what the house or outside looks like - is it in the tv series?

Beautiful Babe

To: Jo

start is definitely a bit raunchy... first line - I love the play on words...

At the end of the "chapter", I'm definitely intrigued to know what happens next.

There's a bit of show don't tell missing from the scene, but I don't know the storyline... so that could be part of it...

1 scene that definitely flashed contradicting images in my head was the part where she is pacing. I imagined her with her hands clenched, taut face (with a grimace?)etc.

Then, you mention her with a cigarette - so , now she is exhaling smoke with a bit more of a "controlled anger" thing going on.

Anyway, for what it's worth...

a lover of latino lovers in Sevilla

What a terrific story! I really loved the way you brought Lynne to life.

This was a very emotional story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I liked it.

Jo, this was a beautiful story with a beautiful ending.

Tracy

Great. I just love this story.

Tracy

Looking forward to the next chapter (as always!) !

This is still so good. I know from experience how hard it is to make a newspaper article sound right. I know nothing about basketball, but I understood this. Great name for a player!

Tracy

Another great story Jo. Love to read the next chapters.