Dang I hope he doesn’t kill hinata

good story to bad it was gave up on

! ! ! !

HE goes balistic and then... I GUESS?
Do you wanna run that back again? this is when this story goes from a dark Naruto to a shit head Naruto see ya

Great story.

Loved the story.

PLEASE revise your story. The grammar, spelling, ooc-ness, and X-Men plagiarism coupled with misused words and mismatched phrases stop this story from meeting its creative potential.

Oh please I love this story continúe please I beg you please please

It's a shame you didn't finish Make Me Feel Alive.

"horizntal slash" - "horizontal"

"Shino spun his bow" - "Bo"

"exposed to a lung from another lion" - "lunge"

Alright...
So the very first sentence, sevral people died... I got over it
Naruto slaughtered a bunch of people... Ok I'm with you...
...but holy shit... Make a dark Naruto all you want but please, just please don't make him an arrogant ass... It makes him seem childish. If he is so strong and he knows it, there's no point in intimidating others... Ya know?

To be honest though I like the fact that you don't boggle so much on mundane facts through the early years and keep the story moving at a nice pace.

I like the story idea though!

A bit melodramatic in my opinion with his entrance into the classroom...Yes I get you want him to be intimidating but tone it done a bit?

I got to say I spent the whole day reading Make Me Feel ALIVE as well as the introduction to Redemption of the Namikaze, and I got to say aside from some grammatical and some spelling Errors easily ignored these are amazing.

What makes "since"? I'm confused.

Oh dear. Naruto's slurring his words. The things kids'll do today…

Also.

Wait. Wait.

First off, Tenzo refuses to kill Naruto, despite his superiors orders. Without context, this would be pretty heartwarming. The cold, merciless former ROOT operative turned hungover pirate becoming a human being due to the power of an adorable little boy.

But… context is everything.

Tenzo refuses to put down Naruto because he thinks he might have killed over a DOZEN PEOPLE…

In SELF DEFENSE.

Think about that for a minute.

If you kill one person who's about to brain you, that's self defense. If you kill a second one who comes at you with a knife, that's also self defense.

If you CHASE DOWN THE DEFENSELESS CIVILIANS using the power of the Kyuubi…

THAT IS NOT SELF DEFENSE.

And it's pretty damn clear that's EXACTLY what happened.

Hmm. Maybe EVERYONE in Konoha is retarded. That would make everything that's happened so far make sense, at least.

Also? "Due for". For fucks sake. Grammar is not OPTIONAL. Get it right.

"What reason do they have to keep it alive" indeed? I actually agree with Kiba's mom. They SHOULD just kill Naruto's ass. He killed a bunch of people that, as a future ninja, he would be sworn to protect. Is that NOT a reason to kill him?

Oh, and another fanon sin. Chakra weights.

It's okay when Lee uses them. It's NOT okay when Naruto min-maxes with them.

Also, six-year-olds bones' aren't nearly as durable as a teenagers. Putting those weights on should have broken Naruto's arms.

-

OH.

HERE WE ARE.

HERE'S THE GOOD STUFF.

SO, NARUTO KILLS A CRAPTON OF NINJA ISN'T HE SO COOL AW MAN I WISH I WAS NARUTO HE KILLS PEOPLE LIKE IT AIN'T NO THING HIS LOGIC IS SO FLAWLESS HE'S LIKE "I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE HERE I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU BY KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TRUST ME I'M SO ALONE"

AND HE'S GOT ONE-LINERS WAIT WHAT'S THIS FEELING IN MY PANTS I FEEL WEIRD

…

OKAY. FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, ASSHOLE.

NARUTO JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF KONOHA'S NINJA. THERE IS NO REASON FOR HIM NOT TO BE KILLED NOW. THERE WERE PLENTY OF WITNESSES. HE EVEN KILLED A COUPLE AFTER THEY SURRENDERED.

SEND THE SON OF THE WHITE FANG IN. HAVE HIM PUT HIS FIST THROUGH THAT FUCKER'S HEART, CAUSE IT'S PRETTY CLEAR HE'S AN IRREDEEMABLE THREAT TO THE VILLAGE.

Also: DIDN'T I FUCKING CALL IT?!
OH LOOK IT'S HINATA!

I love her! She's one of my favorite characters! My OTP! My-

Wait… why isn't she reacting to Naruto brutally murdering a bunch of people right in front of her?

Why is she…

She…

"Kitty eyes".

...

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

WHAT, YOU WEREN'T HAPPY WITH JUST RAPING NARUTO'S PERSONALITY?! YOU HAD TO FUCKING KILL HINATA TOO?!

WHERE'D YOU HIDE THE GODDAMN BODY, ASSHOLE?!

'CAUSE THIS ISN'T HINATA FUCKING HYUUGA.

THIS ISN'T THE KIND, QUIET, CARING GIRL THAT BOUGHT MY LOYALTY WITH HER FIRST SILENT FINGER TWIRL.

THIS IS ANOTHER AMORAL SOCIOPATH. THIS IS FAN-ATA. SHE'S FUCKING WORTHLESS. SHE SEES NARUTO, A BOY SHE HASN'T EVEN MET YET, MURDER THE FUCK OUT OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND.

THERE.

IS.

NO.

REACTION.

NO CONSEQUENCES.

BECAUSE NARUTO ALWAYS GETS HIS FUCKING WAY.

Wait… no…

YOU!

YOU ALWAYS GET YOUR FUCKING WAY.

YOU'VE BURNED EVERYTHING DOWN. I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY.