I love the story and previous one. But one thing that annoy me is though mentioned but yet missing HPGW. And I love HPGW. I know that it doesn't matter anymore but I may not read Part 3 if I don't see this moving to what it proclaims.

Stupid Hermione. She'll never learn

According to JKR, Lily Potter's birthday was Jan. 30, 1960. Therefore, she started Hogwarts in Sept. 1, 1971, graduating June 1978. If Harry is 22 in Dec, 1999, then he would have been born July 31, 1977 which means Lily would have had him PRIOR to her seventh year. That means she would have gotten pregnant before Christmas of her 6th year, which means she was married at 16 before attending 6th year at Hogwarts, which we all know (per JKR) DIDN'T happen. The Christmas of Harry's 22nd year would have been 2002, not 1999. Anyway... great chapter!

Your dates have me terribly confused. The trio would have graduated Hogwarts in June of 1998. You weren't really clear on the dates in the first part of the Trilogy, but going by Hermione's and Ron's last year in Hogwarts, 1998 is long past. May 12, 1998, they had not as yet graduated. Then, in a few short paragraphs you go from Sept 1999, to Dec. 2009, then to Dec 1998?! It should be 1999 or later according to events in the first part of the Trilogy. I laughed when I realized where your pen name came from. Ingenious!

Just realized that, in canon, Bill and Fleur married when Harry was seventeen. They'd been engaged for a year by then. Your couple must believe in long engagements. I KNEW Harry was up to something! Strange though, about all those people who did show up. How did they know? Too bad Harry wasn't aware that the family decided to support him.

Well, what a place to end it. I guess I can't really take a break before I take up the next one. This one was an excellent continuation of the first. I really like how you brought Draco into it. Not really totally sure how I feel about what you did with Susan, but it certainly forwarded the plot. The mess that Amelia made of things seems a touch out of character, but still believable given the reaction of the goblin nation. All in all, this has been great and I'm moving right on into the finale. Thanks for all your efforts.

Well, what a place to end it. I guess I can't really take a break before I take up the next one. This one was an excellent continuation of the first. I really like how you brought Draco into it. Not really totally sure how I feel about what you did with Susan, but it certainly forwarded the plot. The mess that Amelia made of things seems a touch out of character, but still believable given the reaction of the goblin nation. All in all, this has been great and I'm moving right on into the finale. Thanks for all your efforts.

I

I hate to say this because his name is in here so many times, but that's also why I have to say it. It's Fenrir Greyback not Greybeck. At least a simple replace command can fix it.

10/10

Just because you put a word in that could be a question on its own does not mean the sentence the word is in will be a question.

Not everything is a question. I wish I read these when you freshly released these, I doubt you'll go back and edit. "You're one to talk?" Like Tonks is unsure that Hermione is the one to talk or not. UGH!

"I for one would like to know-?" That's just a statement or whatever, not a question. -_- For such a great story you supposedly wrote for your first time, you sure put in a lot of punctuative nonsense.

Requests are not always questions. "Please do not do this." Is a request that is not 'asking' a question, it could work but only in one, maybe two places in that sentence but nothing more.

This is getting ridiculous, I know you said it's your first time writing but other than the punctuation this is probably the best fanfic I've ever read. You use exclamation marks, periods, and commas in correct places sometimes but then you don't and the same again goes for your question marks. This is far more than just beyond infuriating to read, seeing people asking strange questions when what they're saying is just a matter-of-fact statement. Or seeing people state a question but they're not asking it. I don't understand how you can write something so good yet end up putting in punctuation that is so incorrect...

Regardles of whether or not it's your first time writing, a great few sentences in this chapter, and maybe throughout the entire fic would have been better suited to end with a period, a comma, or an exclamation mark rather than a question mark. Harry is supposed to sound at least slightly assertive based on what I've read you write so far so his constant questioning when he's refusing or saying something is beyond wrong and infuriating. What I read is that while sometimes he talks normally, he also continues to ask questions in a strange way that are extremely unnecessary.