The ending was almost sweet then Gilbert had to say that! I thought he was going to be sweet! Loved this story! Love PRUCAN! LOL seriously great story.

Here's when my language fetish (not really I have just lived in a lot of places XP)comes out. The only thing in the whole conversation that was wrong I noticed was "I don't know." And that's only spelled wrong, that's all. It should be spelled "Je ne seis pas" only one letter! XD I'm sorry, but let me warn you a head of time, I know French, German, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, and Russian, so if I see anything in those languages that is wrong, I'll probably correct them.

And before you ask, I know all of those because I was born in the US, but lived in Germany til I was 6. From 6-9 I lived in France, from 9-11 I lived in Japan, from 11-12 and a half I lived in Italy, and from 12 and half-15 I lived in Russia. From 15-? I will be in the USA, which is why I know Spanish, because our high school doesn't care that I already speak 6 languages fluently, so now I have to learn the one language that I technically know already because of Italian. :(

I'm going to go away now.

Finally the thirt chappy

oh i really like it

update fash again

ciao

OK so if you don't mind, may I suggest some better "French" for you? I know it's awesome and cool to have foreign languages in your fic but really, if you don't know the language and rely on Google translate it lessens the "cool" effect (this is super hypocritical of me because I used to do this a lot in my earlier fics, especially with Dutch. But I (hopefully?) learned my lesson, haha). You could easily just mention that they are talking in French, and leave it at that. But here we go:

"C'est toi?" - Is that you? (if Francis and Matthew are close, I doubt Francis would use "vous", which is the formal you. He would most likely use the informal unless they were, you know, in the 1700s or something)

"Comment est-ce que t'es arrivé chez Gilbert?" - How did you get to Gilbert's? As well, you could also use "Pourquoi est-ce que t'es chez Gilbert?" (Why are you at Gilbert's?)

"Nous, euh, j'ai pris un taxi quand je suis parti la boîte de nuit hier soir." (We, uh, I took a taxi when I left the club last night)

"Oh, donc, t'as dormi chez Gilbert hier soir?" (Oh, so you slept at Gilbert's last night?)

"Toi et Gilbert, vous avez un couple?" (You and Gilbert, you are a couple?)

I think the rest is acceptable.

Technical points aside, the main feedback I have for you is that your story is moving really fast. Whether or not you like plots like that is up to you - but personally this all feels a bit rushed. I understand that you were eager to get to the PruCan moments, but the whole thing - the cheating, the anger, the easy forgiveness of the cousin, and then the sex - all felt crammed into so few words. I feel unsatisfied.

Could you perhaps build on Matthew's anger and betrayal? After all I assume he did have some emotional connection to Lars, cheating bastard he may be. What about Gilbert's secret crush on Matthew? By rushing through everything it gives a sense that you don't care about the plot, that everything prior to the sex was just a footnote.

If you slowed things down you'd have more opportunity to expand characters, work on relationships, and make things more believable.

Sorry for the novel I just wrote. If you have any questions, or I wasn't clear in my review (which is very likely, haha), please don't hesitate to ask :)

Iu love it very much

please update the thirt chappy

please (puppy eyes mode on)