What the Jack? Maybe you could elaborate more? I found it a bit hard to understand what was happening...

Rodney was in the hospital getting checked out; John was there; Ambulance-Guy was Toby (and he was reading their minds(?); and Jon has secret feelings for Rodney(?) or is it that relationship is established but secret(?)...

What in the world is /"cookzillas who can't tell lemongrass from lemon"/ [meaning he had a allergic reaction?], he's complaining about John's /"sentient life-form on its own" hair "infecting" Canada too./ (?) [does that mean he's thinking that John's hair is it's own life form or something?]

So does Toby read all of the 'stargate'-things in their heads and then it translate onto his expression, and then John comes to the sudden conclusion that he knows all these things and Toby can read minds (?)

Anyways, colour me confused. :(

PS. If you had elaborated more, made it longer, and made more sense, this really could have become something rather interesting. Don't give up though! :)