come on Light!, you beat humans with just a notebook and your wits, surelly you can beat a witch when armed with one of humanity strongest weapons, The Gun. ~(~)

So demon eye L is witch version of himself, and is about to be hunted by real L.

Man, what happened to Watari?

Hmm makes sense.

Good work with the characters and plot, you got everything to mesh perfectly

Story is great! I wish that Light and L played more of an important role in this story though, the Puella Magica story is a lot like the original story. Maybe you could change it up a bit and have Light and L change the story a bit.

This story is getting really interesting so far! The only error you made was that L left his credit card at a cafe and did not come back to get his credit card nor the packaged sweets. It's a minor error but otherwise the story is great! The descriptive language is really good and I can imagine how the labyrinth appears from your description of it.

You must be willing to think in terms of multi-generations(Who were these girls supposed to be, to do, to be the mother of). Sometimes the parents of soldiers are hunted in the timeline. Never have mercy on time travel crime-shoot to kill. Never come completely through the reality-then you can be hunted. Have a recording of the previous reality in order to know you made progress-written as well as computer recording. This is to prevent getting hit with a computer virus. Do not get side tracked by minor differences-a clean adjustment is rare. Remember that you are there to preserve life. Anyone sent into the timeline has more power than the President of the USA-make sure that they are and remain honest.

You, my good sir/ma'am, are freakin' brilliant.

I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this. The way you merged the two franchises in a way that ultimately felt fairly seamless is commendable, and it provided a fun story with a nice sense of closure to it. Everyone was pretty much kept in character. I loved the interplay between the characters, particularly how L dealt with all of them. His and Homura's slowly-but-steadily growing partnership was one of the highlights.

Now, I'm going to eagerly start the sequel.

Too fast. L and Light are too involved.

Deductions are being pulled out of their collective asses. Boring.

Too bad, I liked very much the modified action scenes.

I'm bailing out.

Da fuq.

Your idea is good. Very much so.

But those deductions hurt. They are too abrupt and fast, and, OK, probably your contact with DN was from the anime, but even the anime tried to condense and lay out as much of Light's and L's deductions as it was possible. So. Reading thos ***shakes head***

Besides, the beginning is kind of sudden.

I'll keep reading to see if it gets any better, because your idea is interesting. But those deductions.

One quick thing you should fix:

The time remaining for chapter 2 was 14 days.
The time remaining for chapter 3 was 13 days.
But the time remaining for chapter 4 was 28 days.

Did someone hit the reset button while I was not looking?

Maybe you should fix it.

A great start, I'd say.

Still can't believe you thought Light and L's hairs were of red and blue, but that just makes it more fitting to Madoka's setting.

LOL either way.

Good job with the fic. You had a good plot twist, made a solid ending without making it stray too far from the actual anime/manga, and portrayed L well.

Now I'm off to read the sequel!

Yoy didn't do anything wrong with the reveal. Personnally i would have liked it flashier, but then again, i'm not L