loved the story so please update!

I agree with how she was four months early but got to be held right after. I was born three months early, and my skin was so thin you could see my veins and no one, not even my own grandmother, could touch me. I had to stay in the hospital for three months to get healthy. I mean, I know this is all Harry Potter and all, but this has to be more realistic.

Also, it was confusing how you went from I to her to I again, it just got way too confusing. Fix that in the future. The main thing you should fix was how Emerald was cared for. That was really odd for me to read, it just felt strange.

Lovely chapter. Love Harry's sense of responsibility but the fact he too wants hot sex!

Your story line is hard to follow.

Painful... That's the only word i can think to describe this. I suggest you take this thing down, polish it up with a beta reader, and then post it again when it's ready. The general idea of the story is a fair one, and could be an interesting read if it weren't so mind numbingly painful to read.

You need to get a beta reader. Your grammar is horrible.

ace!

Your stoy has a really good plot. But it's really hard to understand what you're trying to have the characters say. I think you need to work on your grammer and punctuation skills a lot more.

this is a great story! I love it! I'm going to go read the sequel now! :D

Hey. I like the base line of your story. However it is a little far fetched regarding the birth. What I would suggest is creating a story around this one. Its all Bam, Bam, Bam, straight to the point and no emotion. You can't feel the pain Ginny would feel because you don't express it. Make conversations, describe the feelings around everyone. It was a little confusing to what was happening as you wanted to get to the point to quick.

When writing other FF get the base line of the story (Who, what, where, when and how) then right it. Including what I said above. I no it takes longer to write this way, but its so much better to read.

Like I said though good story idea.

I really want to see how/when they do find Emerald/Jemima, but I do hope you've gotten some proofreading help. Watch out for homophones: they're/their/there, to/too/two, etc. (These seemed to be a problem.) I'd be willing to help you proofread if you'd like. Please update soon! :)

The birth of her baby was a little far-fetched...she's 4 months premature, and the baby gets to go home with her right after? That's pretty hard to believe. I liked Emerald for a first name, but not Muriel. Sorry. Please watch the run-on sentences...they've gotten to be a problem in the last couple of chapters. Your story has pulled me in, though, so I'll finish it.

I really like your story idea, but would like it more with some more proofreading. There are spelling and punctuation (or lack of punctuation) glitches throughout. I wonder what she's going to do now?

Good start, but I could've done without all the f-words. That's just me.

"...Would there be a after?" [an]

Ginny's name is Ginevra, not Ginerva.

The narrative jumps about a bit too much to be an easy and pleasant piece to read. For instance:

'Hello girls. Good time in the village?' Dad asked us.

Oh well here goes nothing 'Dad I'm pregnant.'

I would suggest that you need more sentences to pad out the story and make it an easier read.

It might also be easier to read if you discussed the characters' emotions in more detail.