I have learned something from this...

Never EVER let your antenna get hit by lightning while you are playing a videogame.
Wait... no I want to get sucked into Mass Effect
Or Halo
Or Skyrim...
HELL YEAH SKYRIM
WARHAMMER

ONTO MOAR READING

Huh, wonder what happened to the others.

Ooh he survived but is partially mutated. Interesting where this is going. :)

~Lordy

Ah so it seems they're really dead then, poor Shep losing the one she loves and another under her command at the same time.

Interesting to see a bit more about the Captain as well, explains how she got into the universe but not so much how she got to her rank, guess that'll be explained later.

Orbital bombardment too, ouch. With the Council's permission at that, they know about Xenomorphs or something?

Anyway, nicely done, if sad. :(

~Lordy

Holy shit, dude. You promised a big change, and you definitely delivered.

I liked how there was more description, though it seems you kinda rushed through it after the big baddies showed up. I kinda got confused at a few parts in there.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't have expected any of this in a million years. Like I said last review, I'm really liking the ideas and concepts you're developing, but I'm still not loving the delivery. You've gotten better, which is a great sign, so I have a good feeling this story will only get better as it progresses.

On a very nit-picky note, I noticed a few missing words and some grammatical errors. Have you considered a beta? Just saying.

Anywho, I appear to be rambling again. This chapter was a marked improvement over the previous ones. I have high hopes for what this story can become. Keep on keeping on!

Uh oh. How's everyone going to be with that?

Poor Shep, they'd just gotten to know each other, and Hero of Elysium? Well now, I'd like to see that explained along with how she got there before them.

~Lordy

I'm honestly not sure what to make of this. On the one hand, I really like the concept behind the story. On the other, events just seem to be moving too fast to be plausible.

Like I said, the idea behind the story is a good one. The method of arrival is ehh. I've seen better, but I've also seen much worse. It's pretty cool that the guys are kinda turning into the Shepards they created. Also, having two Shepards is cool. I'm liking the start of a Shep romance; too many people seem afraid to try that, so kudos to you.

However, I caution you to not make the romance happen too fast. I can understand instant attraction, even on both ends, but please, try not to jump straight into it. At first I was concerned, but you seem to have slowed it down.

The only thing I can say I simply haven't liked is the pacing. Big, life-changing events seem to happen rapid fire, one after the other. This also takes away from the description. I really want to lose myself in your story, but it's hard to do with almost no description.

Anywho, I'm rambling. I really want this story to be the best it can be because it has great potential. For now, I will lurk around the edges. Keep on keeping on!

Huh, so they're on that ship for the moment, guess they'll get reassigned to the Normandy later on. Which Shep will be Commander Shep though I wonder.

Epsilon 3 that their version of Akuze or something?

I'm intrigued as to how you'll explain the Captain being there as well, wonder what she knew about that 'Verse before arriving.

~Lordy

interesting fic, cant wait for more.

I like it, it is very good , so Im looking forward to the next chapter.

Love Loraliell

Thresher Maws. They're fun to kill. This is a good story so far, I really like it. So please update.

Promising story but could do with a bit more work on the description

However good bloody start mate. Looking forward to the next part

i think it's cool the way you get into Mass Effect, but I personally think that you could have described the people a little more, but its a good chapter.

Bit of a short chapter but a nice intro-like chapter to get us going.

Also, to make a suggestion for the story, try reading other self-inserts like Mass Vexations or Masses to Masses to try and get to writing descriptivly about the environment, character thoughts, etc, so as to 'flesh out' the character and further along their development.

But good chapter though, and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Promising, and has potential mate. I'm be looking forward to the next one.