Love it!

Zuko's so cool! Nice job!

Don't worry Mai, plenty of other people forget that Zuko is dangerous too, including plenty of fanfic authors and the showrunners themselves whenever the plot needed it!

Back on topic, this is a pretty good fic, and definitely a cute moment in Mai's and Zuko's relationship. Zuko's pretty good at hiding in plain sight, too, so it's good to see that reflected here.

I loved this. Zuko is such contradictory and wonderful blend of deadly dangerous a dweeby. No wonder she loves him. :)

This is the first time I've ever really liked Mai as Zuko's love interest. Lovely job!

-this was good,you did a good job.

i just cant express how much i love this filet. XD

That's pretty damn badass. Nice work.

Zuko is so cool. 333

An unbelievably awesome story! It's a shame it's so freaking short though... You're an amazing writer! Well done!

That was great! It was a different aide of Mai. Not out of character, just different. The ending...damn, Zuko gets some lovin'!

i...love this. so incredibly much. It's nice to see a softer side of Mai, since usually shes depicted as a more stoic uncaring person, which is really on a one part of her personality. and it's true. i think even us viewers sometimes forget how dangerous Zuko is, since he was constantly surrounded by Aang( the avatar), Toph (who's bad $$), Iroh (dragon of the west), Azula(prodigy sister), and Katara(always kicking his a$$). they all kind of shadow his power since they always seem to be doing something more impressive. it also doesn't help that he kept getting pushed aside in the first two seasons, and then in the third he had to be so passive around Katara since she was out for his blood. Thank you for writing something that emphasizes Zuko's ability to take care of himself. 3 it was wonderful~

Wonderful story! One of my favorite Maiko themes: one's reaction to their love's life in danger.

Your writing is great, makes the reding very pleasant!

Loved the sexy ending :D Maiko is just so sexy...

Loved how sweet and affectionate you pictured their relationship

Yeah .

This is absolutely cute and endearing. Really, really well written. Very much fantastically done.

Mr. Mengis,

First off, thank you for the detailed review. Such is rare here on FFNet, and it is appreciated.

On spelling errors, I'll admit that I probably don't proofread as thoroughly as I should, being usually too eager to get a story up on a site. On reading your review, I did a new spell check, along with a (hopefully) thorough read-through. I saw that I misspelled sickening, but I found no other spelling errors or typos. I hope I'm not a complete illiterate and am missing a slew of errors that are totally obvious to everyone else. I will give this story another go over sometime tomorrow.

As for scene breaks, I was considering those when initially looking over my ffnet doc, but for some reason decided against it. You're quite correct about those, and have edited them in accordingly.

As for the rest of your criticisms, there's not much I can say, save that I'm sorry you think the story is so badly flawed. The only defense I'll make is that I did not deliberately mean to take agency or strength away from Mai, a character that I like a great deal. I do think her reaction in my story is at least somewhat justified, since she thought Zuko was going to die and the best she would be able to do is avenge him, but I guess I did not depict that very well. I will keep the rest of your comments in mind when or if I start another Zuko and Mai story - I don't know if this vignette is worth re-working.

Thank you again for your review.