I know that this ended a while ago, but you're a great writer, and you should write about the bloodbath, and Cecelias death. Her wiki says she died later... Whatever, hope you get this!

I know that this ended a while ago, but you're a great writer, and you should write about the bloodbath, and Cecelias death. Her wiki says she died later... Whatever, hope you get this!

Well, I think you should write the bloodbath scene, and have Cecelia die last :) My relatives name is Cecilia, but with an I... You guys have something in common. Anyway, Cecelia should have gotten into the top 6, if only she lasted longer...

Go Cece!

I just realized there's something I forgot to mention in my last review: It was actually new and stunning when Katniss and Peeta were dressed alike. It's actually not common; Cinna and Portia were two of the first stylists to try it. That's not to say it hasn't been done, just that it doesn't happen a lot. Forgive my spelling, I'm having trouble typing tonight.

I really like your style. You keep everything simple, descriptions and action, which is going to help you with writing action scenes in the Games. You don't use long, flowery language (I'm guilty of doing this), so the events are easy to follow. I also like the way you break up dialogue with action, and vice versa. Again, the characters' personalities shine through their dialogue, so good job with that.

I have to admit you shocked me with their outfits. I mean, DISTRICT ONE going naked? I can't see the Capitol doing that to their favorite District (or one of the two, I forget if Two's their favorite or not), but it was really funny. Also, those are some really weird outfits (coughWeed'scough), but then, this IS the Capitol.

However, just like the last chapter, this one is repetitive. All three characters react to their outfits, go to the chariots, and ride out into the streets. Again, you could use with more details, maybe do different sections of the chariot rides?

While I stand by my opinion that using first person for everyone is confusing (it is), you do a good job of portraying the characters' personalities through their thoughts and feelings, too. Weed's section made me laugh. I'm too tired to write any more, I'll read the next chapter tomorrow.

Hm. I noticed each of the tributes had a different reaction to the prep teams and stylists, it really showed off their personalities. Also, I think you did a good job portraying the Capitol prep teams and stylists; I like how they're not all like Cinna, but mostly they're not completely like the rest of the Capitol. And I know Katniss never mentioned how she got to the prep teams in the first place, so I thought it was great that you came up with what happened (they wake up in the Capitol building with their prep team standing over them). However, I'm not so sure the Capitol has a Justice Building. I'm pretty sure it's actually the Remake Center, but I don't have my book on me.

Honestly, however, I do think this was a little repetitive. I mean, you started each viewpoint with them waking up to their prep team, and ended each with them seeing their outfit. Pretty much everything in between was the same, but said in different ways, except the character's reaction. Maybe you could focus on one section for each character and go into more detail. Because another thing I noticed was the minimal detail. It all seemed rushed.

That's my main critique, although I would also advise you to reread this; some of the letters are mixed up. Otherwise, the spelling, grammar, and punctuation are good.

Also, I like how you kept suspense about their outfits. I like that they reacted to seeing their outfits, but you didn't describe them. That makes me very curious to see what they are in the next chapter.

Hello. I'm sorry, I skipped all the reapings; I really don't have the patience to sit through twelve reapings, you know? It just... I don't know, again I'm sorry. From what Cole narrates, they sound like they were full of emotions, but I really couldn't do it.

Firstly, I like that you only did a few POVs, since twenty-four different accounts of the train ride - heck, even twelve - would get a little tiresome, probably for you as well as me. I also think it was helpful that you included the characters' ages. I don't know why, I just really liked that (I didn't bother to look at the tribute list...).

You do a good job with names, too. I mean, the introduction of names. Firstly because you only have so many names in a scene, so it was easier to concentrate on the characters. Especially since you specifically stated their role. Even when you have three mentors for District Seven, I could still concentrate on who was saying this and doing that.

However, I did find it difficult to concentrate on the main characters (from whose POVs you were writing), probably because you used first person for them all. For me, first person really attaches me to the main character, but over a long period of time (a couple chapters. I didn't really get Katniss until the training). Since these were short sections and kept changing, I couldn't really keep up with who was narrating. Also, they all seem to have similar voices. I would suggest working on voices, since this is already forty-some chapters in. Otherwise, I'd suggest just using third person limited for everyone. Third person would tell us who the character narrating is, as well as letting us get inside their head. I think that's better for multiple characters because it helps me at least put some labels on the character's personality, I guess.

That's my main critique. However, I would also suggest that you give them longer sections; it's hard to focus on one specific character's mind when they've only got a small space to narrate.

I think you did good with the dialogue, though. Each person has their own, good, individual styles of speech, which is something I struggle with. Good job. I also know that I can't do present tense without distancing myself from the story, and while you were a little distanced, I think you did good.

(One question. How old is Effie? Because I always imagined her in her twenties. If she's the escort for the 58th Hunger Games, that would make her at least thirty.)

you should do another chapter with her in the games

hmm... i think i forgot, but did cecelia actually die? or was she taken to district 13? if she died... then EDIT! I dont want her to die! she should go back to district 13, marry Calf (because they're good together) and get her kids back. HAPPY ENDING! and she would have been part of the rebellion, so thats defying the capitol.

I am really enjoying your whole story. I think it's cool how we get to see the games through the eyes of the Careers and the killers. But I didn't really like Andrea's death..I don't know, it was kind of lame compared to the others. Otherwise I am really enjoying the whole thing! Good job!

aw, so sad. i also think their mom is in it for the money, what a (insert very bad swearword here).

keep it up!

REALLY AWESOME!

But why does Cecelia keep on freaking out about killing Quinn along with the rest? I though Lily killed Quinn. I miss Quinn; she was my favorite. :( But with every SYOT Hunger Games I guess I have a new favorite, and, anyway, Cecelia was my second choice. I didn't like Nathan. BUT CECELIA WAS REALLY COOL!

I was so surprised to see that you were Cecelia Robinson! Kind of creepy. Don't kill me. GAH!

But awesome story!

what is her siblings probelsm?

You rule! This was super! I even got my sister and friend hucked on your story

Wow. This story is as good as your syot story