I just finished this and felt I just had to comment, the way you wrote was captivating and just made me read on until the end. You did really good with this story I really enjoyed it I feel you captured the souls of Azusa and Yui.

Got some SMT like vibes for a few bits, I really liked this!

OMG, I've never read a story as depressing as this one before - in the K-ON Universe.

It was so sad what happened to both Yui and Ui and I couldn't help but feel really sorry for Azusa as pratically everyone abandoned her and how she wet herself twice in this (Don't know why, but I feel sorry for anyone who soils themselves - even though I rarely did it myself when I was younger) from pure terror trying to find Yui :(

The ending was really touching and I'm glad I read this, but the whole dreams and mist world was confusing for me as I don't know much about Cthulhu Mythos.

That was... Wow... Beyond words *-* I definitely liked it, thought I would like a sequel as well :D But I know the Story would get all messed up so it better just how it is :3 I love your fics *-*

Good story soo beautiful and tragic. Is Azusa dead?

Wow. More than anything, this story really is an experience. It's a demonstration of how easily one can be broken down, and how desperately one can cling to the fleeting hopes of a dream, shutting the rest of herself down. Definitely a nihilistic read, but a fantastic one.

Overall, I'd say that this story is, at least thus far, the best written one that I've read out of all your work. It really does read like a published work- between the in medias res style writing that flows beautifully, the exposition that feels extraordinarily natural, and the way you manage to tie this story in with a previous work so well, it is fantastically done.

There are a couple typos here and there, but nothing really worth noting- my mind tends to auto-correct minor errors, so I didn't really pay any attention to them.

The other real complaint I have writing-wise is the fact that you solely utilized Yui's POV once. It's the only time that the story goes outside of Azusa's POV, and it just feels... weird. Really it doesn't tell us anything that we weren't told by the dream sequence, and doesn't go anywhere. Maybe if the POV had been split somewhat between Yui and Azusa, somehow providing commentaries from both parties, it would have felt more useful. With what was there though... I suppose I didn't really see its purpose.

In regards to the dark visuals, I'm not sure exactly what category your writing style falls under. It feels like some sort of hybrid between King and Lovecraft, with some Silent Hill inspiration tossed in there as well. The mythos of this world is quite well constructed, and is mystifying just as much as it is bewildering.

You genuinely managed to creep me out at times, which is not something that is easy to do. I consider myself rather desensitized to horror after how much of it I've watched/read- very little actually scares me anymore. But some of the sheer visceral and carnal viciousness present in the story really did spook me a little.

Overall though, what really works in this story is the nihilistic tone present throughout. Like Azusa, you just feel utterly alone. Which may be another reason that the Yui POV doesn't really work, actually. It breaks the illusion. But truly, Azusa, Yui, Ui, and Jun are the only characters in the story, and Yui and Ui and Jun are almost never brought up, except when Azusa is thinking about them. Truly, we are just left to feel almost as lonely and empty as Azusa does.

The atmosphere throughout the story has an interesting, almost noir feel to it, at least in my opinion. Particularly the beginning, which almost fills like it would fit better if pictured in grayscale. There's this excellent sort of disconnected feel to the whole thing- and I don't mean that the reader is disconnected from the story. It feels like the story itself disconnects from the reader; like Azusa's world is simply so isolated from everybody else's that we can't grasp it. It's a fantastic effect, even if it wasn't completely intentional, and works really well.

The usage of the darkened and mysteriously fogged woods to create an isolated atmosphere is done extremely well, and really makes you feel like you're there with Azusa. You truly do excel at describing the bizarre and macabre, which is a huge benefit here. The various surrealist and metaphorical constructions and imagery are quite beautiful, and have a real presence and power behind them. Sure, sometimes it doesn't make sense (even after reading the whole story, I still don't quite grasp the mother-daughter convo, for instance). But overall enough of it does that it feels relatively... real, despite the fact that none of it could possibly happen.

The alternate world is interestingly done, even if we don't learn much more about it than we did in Nightmare. We aren't really there enough to learn about it anyway, so it doesn't bother me.

The way that Azusa's personality is divided in this universe is really interesting, but it raises one question that kind of bugs me: where was this other Azusa when everything was happening? It's kind of implied that THAT was the Azusa which was taking all these forms and manipulating her, but that seems contrary to her goal- while initially it was simply scaring her, by the end those forces seemed to want to out and out kill her.

Or at that point, did the other Azusa have a genuine form? Or was the other Azusa simply a manifestation of whatever malevolent force exists in this universe, and was trying to torture/drive Azusa away?

I think I'll just follow the sage advice of Willard H. Wright here- "Don't think too hard about it, you'll just get a headache."

The main thing that should be focused on is how well constructed your universe is becoming. It's quite impressive, and your story really does bring it to life.

But one of the most impressive pieces of this story is your characterization of Azusa. I completely bought Azusa becoming this broken shell of a person after Yui's disappearance; quickly cutting herself from everybody, while justifying it as everybody else cutting themselves off from her.

She manages to both feel like a figure you pity and hate at the same time- you curse her for her inability to understand how much worse she is making her own life, and her utter co-dependency on a single girl to survive, yet you also just see a little girl, crumbling due to the loss of her one love, who is desperately trying to cling to any little hope she has of getting something back.

A reviewer complained about the inclusion of romance at the end, but honestly, I found it rather prevalent throughout. I mean, I pretty much felt from the beginning that this was the result of Azusa having been in love with Yui; it just didn't FEEL like the despair over somebody who had lost a friend to me. And then of course there's the rather bizarre memory of Yui's in the first chapter. The fact that Azusa finally, at the end of her quest, reveals her true feelings to me was just the culmination of her whole quest in the first place. So it didn't really bother me.

Now, for a couple things that DID bother me.

If the story was supposed to have a happy ending, it just didn't work for me. An endless void, especially one in which dark creatures lurk, isn't happiness. Even an eternity spent with a loved one is still eternity- eventually everything becomes stale. While initially it may feel like one can feel happy about something forever, you never really do- it's just not the way human emotions work. Eventually Azusa is going to start to feel lonely, despite Yui. Or perhaps, without anybody else, their relationship will fall apart. Who's to say? Particularly if the latter happens- then both are right back where they started.

Overall, the ending just feels like a different sort of nihilism from the beginning. At the start of the story, Azusa is aware of the nihilistic existence she is suffering in. At the end, she is just unaware of it. But it feels like all the story has done is really take her in one huge circle, making all her tribulations worthless. It's a really interesting journey, and well worth the price of admission, but it just bugs me a bit. Particularly if it was supposed to be joyful.

The other complaint is really... I don't know. It felt like Ui's death is shoehorned into the story. It never really serves any kind of purpose, except to isolate Azusa more. It's mentioned a couple times, Yui's twin comes and apologizes for it (with Azusa and Yui both not having a clue what she's talking about), and... that's essentially it. I'm just not sure as to WHY it was really there. I kept expecting it to be a plot point... and then it wasn't.

Overall, fantastic little story. I'm sure that this review is incredibly disjointed and chaotic, but just consider that a homage to the story itself, I suppose. A fantastic little disjointed, depressing tale that I would recommend to anybody, K-On fan or not.

That was...intensely horrifically beautiful if that makes sense.

This story is incredible and I wish I had read it sooner. It was very interesting and well written. I love it

I really love this story and the endind really touched me.

The second you mentioned Nyarlathotep is the second I really really liked your story.

If you changed the names you could publish this as a short story and Im sure youd make some cash.

The imagery is mind bogglingly great.

I especially enjoy the fact she's not 100% aware she's going crazy. Which is the essence of madness in itself.

Bravo.

I read this story awhile ago, but was so mystefied I forgot to review evidently. I know this sounds like bullshit, but honestly, this story became one of my favorites; even among classic novels. It's not perfect, but it's so mysterious and poetic and I had chills the whole time. Then again, I read it at night and into the wee hours of the morning, and books ALWAYS seem more suspenseful at night. If I re-read, I don't know if I'd feel the magic as much. I won't try, because even once this story shook me up.

I felt like I was lost in the forest with Azusa. It's funny, I don't like Azusa, but this story made me grow to love her. I mean, watching her experience such pain, confusion, and even death, how could I not?

Even the ending was bone-chilling. It's romantic and kinda sweet, but in a sense, aren't the couple still lost? Well, whatever works for them. ;

All in all a lovely fic that really got me into the horror genre. Btw, I really saw connections to Radiohead's There, There. (you can roll your eyes at this.) But as I read I thought of that song, and the combination was beautiful. Either way, I think this is your best fic yet.

Whoa, can't believe I missed this story.

I loved the whole tone of it, the creepy forest, the meadow, everything. Personally I think this is your best work. It was just the right length and reading it (especially the second chapter) felt like some sort of horrendous acid trip. Again damn fine work.

Tell me, was this story at all influenced by Alice in Wonderland?

Amazing. That was the craziest thing I ever read. It was hard to understand at time, but in the end I'm glad I read it. I loved it immensely, thanks for writing it.

wow... So azu nyan followed yui after all

When I read this, I kept getting a silent hill vibe throughout the whole story

I would call it a masterpiece of k-on fan fiction but that would probaly insult your next story:)