Brutal, comeuppance, spelling issues, and you need a bit more knowledge of the series and human anatomy

Very good. :)

Wow, nicely done. I liked the begining. The ending could have been written a little better, and the thing where he saw his jaw being passed over was a little much, but other than that, it was really good! And I especially loved the last line. :)

Really, not bad. I was actually a bit skeptical, but you definitely have some talent. There are a couple of grammatical errors, nothing major, and it's a bit awkward and kind of jumps around, but hey. It works. Actually, it really does, kind of shows how quickly it happens, but it really does kind of jump from one thing to another very quickly and a bit awkwardly. Anyway, well done. Thank you for your story.

Elizabeth

Wow...This was just...Wow. A different prespective of what I expected it to be. Amazingly written capturing the emotions and the style it was written in is amazing.