Whoa.

Poor girl.

...

wat the hell was dat u call this a story wat is wrong with u

That was confusing.

Very confusing.

So much that I only got about ten percent of it.

But yeah.

I don't usually read slash or femmeslash, coz when I do I'm almost always disappointed. They mostly kind of suck. But this one didn't, even though my (unbelievably slow and easily confused) mind didn't get it. Mostly I thought I liked the wording.

Best M rated story I've ever read, and the only one.

~Fantine

I love the postmodern, almost poetic feel of this story.

This fic is like a set of LEGO blocks, in that it's comprised of a number of small pieces which all click together to form a certain picture. Of course, on the other hand it's nothing like LEGO, in that it certainly isn't a fun or easy fic.

The pairing idea is certainly not one I've seen much. The astonishing thing is that this ship does work, here, mainly thanks to your excellent use of language, so kudos to you. :)

My favourite "block" was xiii: the one about Nico smiling. XD

So, while this is not the kind of fic I generally like, I can say without doubt that this gives the slash/femmeslash section of this fandom reason to exist. And thus concludes review #2 of 5.

-ProudtobePlug

I am going to report this story! Because I have a big fat jiggly, Brazilian butt and I cannot find a better way to express it! I haven't had hot lesbian sex with my lover jewel because my biiiiigggg butt gets in the way! Please flame my forum. Critics United. Chas Aegis

I am going to report this story! Because I have a big fat jiggly, Brazilian butt and I cannot find a better way to express it! I haven't had hot lesbian sex with my lover jewel because my biiiiigggg butt gets in the way! Please flame my forum. Critics United. Chas Aegis

I am going to report this story! Because I have a big fat jiggly, Brazilian butt and I cannot find a better way to express it! I haven't had hot lesbian sex with my lover jewel because my biiiiigggg butt gets in the way! Please flame my forum. Critics United. Chas Aegis

I really, really loved the style. Very unique. It made the story more dramatic.

I really liked this. A lot.

Usually, I don't read slash or femmeslash, but this was very well written and subtle for a story with this theme. Also, I've never seen a Clarisse/Rachel, which makes it even more unique and different, in a good way, of course.

I did find it slightly hard to follow, and found myself wondering who it was talking about at certain points. Being the easily confused person that I am, that's not a surprise. Otherwise, though, it flowed beautifully.

Keep Writing!

~Sydney

i don't know what's going on here... BUT I LIKES IT VERY MUCH! THANK YOU THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES THANK YOU!

Rachel and Clarisse? Cool... Is it like, 1- rachel 2- clarisse 2- rachel and so on?

its quite good!

Wow...

This is amazing.

The pairing is different, and I like it.

At first I was confused, and had to read it a couple times to actually understand it.

O.o Woah. ‘Tis awesome. The style's like a combination of poetry and prose that’s refreshing and interesting. But confuzzling. In a good way. I don't think I could ever write anything on par this. (Though that's not actually saying much.)

Honestly, at first, I was confuzzled. Because it's a little more complicated than the usual "ZOMG Percy and Annabeth make out" story that is commonly found in this fandom. But I think I get it. Though I'm actually typing out this review with a slight bit of trepidation because there's a chance that I've misinterpreted something. Do forgive me if I do.

But it does make sense after a while. Like, everything you need to know there, but you need to read it through and then piece it together. It's made effective by the short scenes, because they all give different ideas or expand on previous ones and then you come out with an overall picture. As well as that, I got the feeling that this was from Rachel's perspective, and every little scene kind of built up her character. Basically the characterisation was cool.

The descriptions themselves were vivid, even the ones that were only two words long, because...um...I don't really know how to explain it, but, well, they were precise and to the point but still vivid. But there are some stuff that aren't explained that we have to come up to conclusions ourselves which is interesting, though a little more on the backstory on the pairing would be nice.

A little thing that might not even be right - the part at the end, I think "lays down" should be "lies down". But don't fully trust me on that one and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong cos my grammar is not always the bestest.

Anyways, the pairing is epic. And so's your writing.

Anyways, awesome. :)