That was... different...

...strange... For a second there I thought it was Amy. Stupid mind...

This is so sad and cute at the same time! really good.

Heyy. :)

I. Heart. You.

This story is amazing. Perfect amount of romance. I would imagine this being Natalie's character, but then realizing the guy is Dan ruined it. -.- *is not Natan shipper*

POINTS:

"Ahem. Her house now." ...I don't know. It seemed to not flow, and it looked like it was...an afterthought, more like you just added it in than it being part of the plot. It's fine, though. I'm just being picky.

"Her lips formed wryly despite her mixture of emotions." Again, a bit awkward. I would've liked: Her lips formed a wry smile, despite the mixture of emotions swirling inside of her. Eh. Again, minor thing.

"Don't leave me like everyone else. Don't leave me!" she screamed, burying her face into his shirt, sobbing. ~ I would have liked some pause between the two sentences that she shouts, for dramatic effect.

HEARTS FOR:

The conclusion sentence. I completely balled when I saw it. So much impact. ;D Youamazing.

Personally, I liked the middle and end better than the beginning. Lovely end. I like the mysterious part of it.

Description was amazing. I like the first paragraph's description especially.

Youawesomeawesome.

This story is amazing. I am adding this to my favorites and to the Galleria community. :D

~Smiles,

Joyce

This was so sad, but it was a nice read. )':

However, i think i found a mistake.

"It was turning into [a] icy winter now"

The [a] is supposed to be [an].

I really liked it... The twist of it not being an Ian/Amy, and the girl who loved him so much being the one who killed him, was a nice one.

Oh my god, that was soo sad! I don't know what about it is, but after I read this, I felt a huge pain in my chest that isn't going away right now. God, I didn't know who this was talking about until the A/N at the end, but it was heartbreaking, really and truly heartbreaking, but it was very good!

you suprised me! i thought this was amyxian. well that would just be another sappy story of them. i do like danxreagan. but for one of my stories i was thinking of dan falling in love with a vesper. it would be a change from the whole iamy thing. but im still a big fan. as always, this story was beautiful, as all your stories are. youre gonna be amazing someday.

peace,

love,

forgivness,

thats what lifes about.

-Cahillnetwork

Oh. My. Gosh.

This is awesome! Sad, dramatic and romantic. I love it!

I WOULD point out any mistake. . . if there were any. I couldn't see any. Meh.

-MW98

Some story! Wowtchers!

Ames, you have no mistakes. At least not one I can see. You should ask Rick Riordan to read this, maybe he'll point one out for you. I don't think anyone can grammatically...maybe some confusing sentences but...Yeah, this sums it up: Very sad and heart-breaking, not much mistakes. Great!

P.S. For Dan's lover/murderer what do you imagine her name to be?

That was beautiful...

The only mistake I saw was that you put "hear" when you should've put "here".

There is this possible other one, but I'm not sure if I'm right. In the beginning of the story, excluding the summary, look at the third sentence where it talks about spring leaving. I'm not sure but do you need to put a comma there, before "and"? I'm leaving it up to you because I don't think "and" acts like it's combining one sentence with another, or if the second part is a dependent clause or something.

Anyway, great job! I liked the description and the feeling. I wonder what Amy will do if she finds out he's dead. I also wonder if the Cahills meet a Vesper who's not trying to kill them. Keep up the good work!

A person )

Wow that wuz awesome but I kno for sure that u had 1 spelling mistake u put "hear" but the word that fits in that context is actually the other "here"

Wow, this was really nice. I liked how it was different than most Dan-centric fics.

I only noticed one mistake. "Hear" should be "here," but that's not much of an issue.

Awesome job! I really enjoyed reading it.~

-Sky

Lovely story, Amy. :)

You have a way of portraying romance beautifully, without making me want to gag. I'm not a huge fan of romance, so that's saying something. :)

The biggest error that I found was in the last sentence. It was a powerful sentence, but you used the word "disregarded." It should have been "discarded." A bit more noticeable since it was in the last sentence. In the sentence before that, I don't think that you should have put a comma after gulped. Other than that, I didn't particularily notice anything, but then, I wasn't hunting for errors, either.

The story itself was very beautiful, like I said before. I also loved the idea of Dan and a Vesper girl being together. I wonder if they will add any new love interests in the next series? I have a hunch that they will.

Anyway, overall, it was beautiful. As always. :)

~Syberia~