Great fanfic! It gets a bit confusing sometimes because of the changing perspectives. I think this as well as your general writing improved a lot throughout the story though, so I enjoyed the second half a lot more.

I really like the parts with Junko, they where hilarious, especially the bit back in chapter 11.

Anywayz, I really love this and I hope you decide to continue it in the future!

I actually quite liked this fic. No time for details but would like you to continue if you ever plan to.

PLEASEEEEEEEEEE UPDATEEEEEEEEE T_T THIS IS SO SWEET

I was like HNGGGGH When i was reading the madohomu parts! Love your writing! Its so cute . looking forward to more. xD ! update soon~

Uh oh, seems like Junko has interrupted something. I still find it funny, what she said in chapter in chapter 11 about awkward and shy, and indecisive" guys being safe, I guess that makes HomuHomu safe too? And, god damn, I love the way you write those romantic scenes.

Hooray for HomuMado, it's certainly cute and sexy so far. I hope you'll do them justice in the "rated M" future chapter.

On another note, throwing random Japanese phrase in a fic is not professional. You should change "Ohayo Gozaimasu" to "Good morning". What I really like is how you preserve the Japanese name order and the suffix -chan and -san, well done. There are a mistake though: Homura should prefer to Junko as "Kaname-san" (standard respect for most social relation like friends, older people, acquaintances, strangers), not "Kaname-sama" (indicate significant higher social standing).

I won't comment much about characterization. It's okay, just a little bit off here and there how some character treat one another. Thanks for the story.

I love the way you portrayed Madoka's mom. She is funny. I also love your Homura, she makes me smile. You should definatly not crawl back under your rock, and if you do write another chapter first because I am looking forward to it.

Welcome back.

The rewritten chapter 15 and the new chapter 16 were very well done. Especially the "family meeting" ... great stuff.

I like how you build up so much tension between Homura and Madoka, and then abruptly break that mood. Good ol' Junko. Can't wait to see the next chapter ... and not because it's going into M rated territory. Well, not just because of that.

I just wanted to point out the awesomeness of saying that Madoka is "not all powerful or omni-present" before Ep. 12 :P.

I like how you actually handle the 1st POV well. You convey the emotions pretty well and it makes me want to read more and more. I really like how you do your work, even though it was short, it makes you want more, its quite addictive. Kudos and take time with the next chapter if you want. There's no need to rush.

This chapter's hard to review. I like your writing style, and really, this is not bad. But it is ... missing a certian zing.

It's probably best to just let this one go and focus on ch. 16, and the "Excellent Adventure" story you refer to.

Anyway, not a bad chapter. Good moments between Madoka and Homura. No real mistakes or flaws that I can find. Overall, though, the chapter was okay. Nothing to feel bad about, I would say.

Finally done with the chapters published so far; I’m glad of that accomplishment.

I guess it’s time for some fluff between these two; I mean, Homura’s sole purpose is to save Madoka, even if that means not being able to be happy herself (something we clearly see in the anime series). Now, that’s why I love fanfiction so much, because that allow us to see many possibilities the original work didn’t have the chance (or didn’t want to) about the story, the characters and their interaction with each other. I’m a true defender of how things should be, instead of how things would be.

I’ll be sad when the time to say good bye comes near, yet I’m going to be satisfied with whatever outcome you choose, because we’ll know exactly why you pick that one up.

Keep the excellent work.

Now that I reach the last two chapters, I feel the need to review each of them separately.

You sure did your homework after watching episodes 9 and 10 about the entropy thing and all the shit KQ has storage for the girls with their contract. Now Madoka holds the whole picture (almost) not to be fooled by him and instead, to take advantage of the situation. I’ve a little idea of what Homura’s plan is all about, but I’ll keep it to myself until we reach that outcome. For now I would say that both of them hold the key to save the universe, and finally, themselves.

Well, chapter 14 is next.

All the struggles were meaningless after all, because neither of them were able to say those three words that could’ve changed their lives forever. They’re always there for each other, taking the world in their shoulders, but never knowing the truth behind those feelings inside of their hearts, especially Homura, since she’s obsessed with the idea of saving Madoka from her fatal fate as a Magical Girl, as a Witch, as epitome of entropy. The salvation was always at hands reach, and yet, it was impossible for them… for now.

Well, just chapters 13 and 14 to catch up with you.

When you gave up, everything is over. As I already said before, saving Madoka from her destiny is Homura’s main and only reason to keep up with all the pain and suffering from repeating the same shit over and over again, despite fighting against all odds and adversity in each timeline. She doesn’t let her feelings (most of the time) to drive her life; only when desperation and hope seem lost, she gave in to her love for the girl who changed her life forever.

I’m very impressed for everything you’ve done so far, taking in the fact that by now (after Japan’s earthquake), we’ll have to wait a little more to see if you’re right or wrong with the last timeline.

Just four more chapters to catch upwith everyone else; let’s continue then.