I... this is amazing, I love this, actually! It is a lovely plot and well-written, and how Mary thinks and tells Will that he has a claim to the photos... such a lovely thought, and wonderful conversations and depictions of the characters.

Also, I see the ending as Will being in a serious relationship/asking someone to marry him but telling her that he will always love Lyra and she'd have to accept that? That's my interpretation, would you mind to confirm or correct me if I'm seeing it wrong? I can't help but wondering!

Anyway, favoriting because it gives me all the feels, kudos! 333

just lovely - thank you

This one I didn't like quite as much as Epilogue. It's good that its formatting is still far superior to How Things Could Have Been, and this had a pretty interesting idea, but I've a few pointers:

1. Summary. You made it seem like it's a Lord Asriel fiction. Not so much negative to the story itself as opposed to not drawing much potential audiences, but it's still an inaccuracy.

2. Along the same lines, after the bulk of the story dealt with Mary's internal conflict, and then suddenly switched to Will. What are you trying to put into the spotlight? You may want to make that clear first.

3. Just plot (and this is what I look for quite a lot). It didn't seem to have any resolved conflicts. If it was about Mary's decision to give the photos or not, you could've left out the entire section in the paranthesis. Not that I would still consider that satisfactory.

Though overall, you ARE definitely better than you were, and still a whole lot better than lots of people I see. Kudos on that, I suppose.

Not farfetched at all. It is beautiful.

x

awwww, that is so sweet. I loved the last note in brackets, a lovely ending! Keep up the great writing!

This story is AMAZING! You've managed to create a superb combination of detailed writing, interesting dialogue and a stellar little plot in this wonderful story. Thanks a lot for spending the time, effort, skill and dedication to make such a nice piece as this. You ROCK!

That was a really good one, and it matched up with the story's events nicely. The ending was cute.