Great start! You did a really good job with your descriptions. I look forward to seeing where you go with this story next!

And it's great to find out there are fellow guildies who enjoy writing! It's funny, I was just wondering last night if anyone else in Chiv wrote fanfiction and then I came across your post after work today. I had been thinking of making a similar topic, lol.

~Eld

Wow, I just saw this, and I really like it. Although it's a short chapter, it's very focused and well-written. I could definitely feel the tension of the situation.

I only wish that this chapter was longer, because I don't know who any of these characters are, and I really wish to know more about them.

Good luck, and hope you write more soon.