Unfortunately Deeks is way over his head in love. Great story by one of the best.

This is awesome ! Pity that I only find it now. Thanks for sharing !

This was so awesome! Very well-written and excellent, perfect characterization. This scene truly could have happened just like this on the show. Great job!

Sam may have meant well, but his words were too late. I think Marty had his eyes on Kensi from the moment they met at that MMA gym.

You captured the characters' voices so perfectly, I could truly hear them speaking the dialogue. What a wonderful scene - I would LOVE to read more! Thanks for sharing!

Haha, got cut off. :D

AT THE BABY. "Do I have to draw out everything for you? It's when she's not talking that's the problem. I see you watching her from across the room; I see the way you look at her at the end of something extreme – a shootout or some other rough case. The way you looked at her after she told Talbot about Jack; the way you looked at her when Talbot knocked her out and we were waiting for her to wake up. SHE IS HIS PARTNER, SAM, DAMMIT. But, heh, yeah, I understand what he means.
"And it's the way you look at her," Sam continues. "And before you argue that tons of men look at her all the time, it's not like that. You don't look at her like you want to shove her against the wall and have your way with her." *BUT HE DOES. But again, I understand what he means. And I understand why it’s even scarier. Because it’s even worse for Deeks to want more than just sex. Worse for him to do more than just lust after her. At least, a little spark of desire can be tamed. But the fire of care, longing, love ? Not so much.* Deeks flinches at the bluntness of his statement, and it's just more evidence to Sam's suspicions. "You look at her like – like you're in constant awe of her. HE IS. I've seen that look too many times, Deeks, and it never leads to anything good when it's combined with work."
Oh yeah Sam, you know all about that. Give him advice, instead of trying to scare him off. You cannot stop someone from falling in love. Particularly when it’s already done.
I love that Deeks doesn’t let Sam lead the conversation, though. That he does have a comeback.
"You can't, because the moment you do, that's the moment you put her life in jeopardy. *And you know this is Deeks’ worst nightmare.* That's when you screw up a fragile op because your head is clouded and you're thinking about her instead of the case. That's why there are rules,TELL US ABOUT IT, HUH, SAM, because you get caught in a firefight with someone you have feelings for, you can't think straight." His eyes harden severely, so much that Deeks finds himself struggling not to cower beneath the other man's gaze. "And I swear to God, Deeks, if you get Kensi killed because you're too preoccupied with being her knight in shining armor than with actually backing her up like her partner should be *God, I know Sam only wants to help, but that a low blow*, then I will hunt you down and I will personally kill you. And then you can bet that Callen will kill you again. Mike Renko will probably show up about that time, wanting some too." (Oh, and Renko… :’( Tears.)
AND THIS IS KILLING ME, BRB TEARS: “For a moment, Deeks is struck by a bit of what he won't quite admit is jealousy. *SADNESS. :’( My poor baby.* Kensi might not have much of a biological family, but the family she does have is something Deeks has never really found himself a part of. It's something that's always eluded him, so much that he's tried to convince himself that that inherent sense of belonging is just a myth. It's clear just how deep the relationships within this team go; Callen, Sam, Kensi…Deeks knows all of them would give anything for each other, knows they would trust each other with their lives without question.
He kind of thinks that, no matter how long he's with them, he'll always be just on the outside of that little circle. Nobody's going to kill for him if he gets hurt, he thinks wryly.”
THEY WILL. ALL OF THEM. NOT JUST KENSI, MARTY. NOT JUST KENSI. God, I’m not kidding when I say this whole segment right there is killing me.
His thoughts must show in his eyes, he assumes, because Sam softens a bit as he speaks again. "You're part of this team now, Deeks," he says quietly. "But Kensi is too, and we look out for our own. We protect our own."
The implication is plenty clear; it's one that cuts Deeks to the bone. POOR BABY. I seriously hate that. Hate that Sam clearly tells him that he thinks he’s the weak link, particularly when you think that Personal is gonna happen soon after. "I wouldn't put her in danger, Sam," he says quietly (God, a quiet Deeks brings tears to my eyes), and Sam finds himself almost taken aback by the degree of sincerity in the other man's voice. BECAUSE HE WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT COULD HURT HIS all the jokes and the sarcasm, he has to admit that it's not something he's heard from him often. BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE WHO MARTY DEEKS IS. And who he is, is a kind, loyal man, who’d do anything for those he cares about. "I – I wouldn't. If something happened to her because of me, I'd give up my badge and my gun right there on the spot. * AND YOU KNOW HE MEANS THAT WITH EVERYTHING THAT HE IS. It would just KILL him to do such a thing.* I do care about her – she is my partner." For a long moment, Deeks simply holds the other man's eyes, unsure whether or not it does anything to enhance his credibility – he knows he doesn't have a lot of that as far as Sam is concerned. "I wouldn't put her in danger," he repeats. *I love that he’s no longer denying anything. There’s no denying, really.*
Sam sighs, turning his eyes forward again. "Not on purpose." For a couple of seconds, the silence is heavy between them, heavy and oppressive, and just as Deeks is about to say something to break it, Sam speaks again. "Which is what I'm getting at. You wouldn't put her in danger on purpose, but there's always the possibility that you might put her in danger by trying too hard to protect her. And Kensi…" A brief smile flickers over Sam's lips. "She's a sister to us. The little sister who's too daring and too stubborn for her own good. She doesn't need any help finding trouble. The important thing is that when she finds it, she's usually pretty damn good about getting herself out of it."

Then let Deeks be there to help her. The fact that he loves her won’t change his ability to do so. Because, heh, Sam, she’s gonna fall for him, too. There’s nothing you can do about that. Wouldn’t you feel better having your wife with you, instead of not knowing where she is, what she’s at ?
I love this: “This is unusual for him; usually he's better than this. But when Kensi's involved…that, apparently, changes everything. And Deeks isn't really sure when that happened.”
And I simply love Deeks’ reply. I am in love with it.
"Look," he begins quietly. "I know she's good. I know I'll end up being the one in trouble someday, and she'll have to come in and kick some bad guy ass in order to save me." At that, Sam can't help but smirk. AND I AM AWWING AND CRYING BECAUSE HE IS ADORABLE AND SWEET AND THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER’S BACK, SO SOMETIMES HE SAVES HER, SOMETIMES SHE DOES. BUNCHES OF THREES. "But I'm not the one in danger right now, and I don't know that she actually is either, but…the last time I watched Kensi climb into some bad guy's car, she was this close to not coming home. *omg, I just feel his despair so much right there.* The last time I stood by and did nothing, she almost didn't make it out alive. I just – I keep seeing that.*God. Poor baby. He’s haunted. :’( And so scared of what might have been.* I keep seeing it all and I'm feeling just a bit more than a little useless as her partner right now, so I – I'd appreciate it if you'd just stop, okay?" He tries to harden his voice, but the look in his blue eyes is unmistakably a plea. *Poor baby. :’(*"Stop wasting time lecturing me and start the car again. Get back on the road and follow that car. Because those guys…" His voice falters, and Deeks can feel Sam's appraising eyes on him; he refuses to meet the other man's gaze. "Those guys could turn a gun on her and have her bleeding on the backseat before she can even blink."
And Deeks simply cannot have that.
“Then again, he knows that's easier said than done as well.” Damn well does Sam know this. You’re so clever, Jess. You foresaw everything!
Love this ending! “Either way, he figures he's going to be keeping just as much of an eye on Deeks from now on as he is on Callen. Somebody has to try and keep them out of trouble...Sam chooses not to admit that that too is a hopeless battle.
Damn it, he thinks. If it's not the lone wolf, it's the puppy love.”
And, heh, my review is longer than your story!
GIMME ALL THE STORIES!

THERE IS NO REVIEW WITHOUT ME QUOTING SO LET THE QUOTING BEGIN !

"There's a war currently raging inside of Deeks. SWORDSWAR, NEXT SUMMER IN YOUR THEATER. No, growing serious again. I love the beginning of this already. I love a conflicted, pensive, confused, scared Deeks.
It's between Deeks the cop and Deeks the man, and it's enough to have his stomach clenching and twisting violently. BECAUSE BOTH WANT TO PROTECT KENSI AND HAVE HER BACK BECAUSE SHE IS HIS PARTNER AND HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER AND IT'S HIS JOB TO MAKE SURE SHE'S OKAY AND GOD WHY ISN'T SAM TRYING TO HELP HUH ? [...] He's sure it's not showing on the surface – at least he hopes it's not showing on the surface, but he's an utter mess right now, all because he can't reconcile the warring sides within him. ALL BECAUSE HIS PARTNER IS IN THE BAD GUYS' HANDS AND HE WANNA MAKE HER SAFE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MARTY DEEKS DOES (AMONG SO MANY OTHER THINGS, INCLUDING SOME WHO MAKE KENSI QUIVER WITH DELIRIUM AND SCREAM UNTIL THERE IS NO AIR LEFT IN HER LUNGS, SO DEEKS GOTTA DO SOME MOUTH-TO-MOUTH AND TO SKIN)
Detective Deeks repeatedly tells Sam to slow down. He's trailing too close, so close that he fears the suspects will discover they're being tailed. Detective Deeks knows his protocol; he's had a few too many undercover operations blown because of careless following. He knows exactly what a safe distance is; knows exactly what to do when it seems like his suspect is getting suspicious. He knows when to speed up, when to slow down, and when to finally make himself known and apprehend the suspect. Because despite what his fellow officers at the LAPD might think of him, Deeks is a damn good cop and he knows how to get the job done. DAMN WELL HE IS.
Marty Deeks, however, is another story entirely. Marty Deeks wants nothing more than for Sam to punch it past one-forty on the speedometer. Wants Sam to hit that accelerator and squeal the tires violently on the pavement, because to him, there is nothing more important than catching up with that car. *Nothing*." HE NEEDS HER TO BE SAFE, HE NEEDS HER TO BE OKAY AND HE NEEDS TO BE THE ONE SAVING HER BECAUSE HE CANNOT HANDLE IT, THAT SHE'S BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM AGAIN.

And, indeed, you're gonna bring that up just after! :D

"He remembers the surge of protectiveness that came over him as she offered herself up to them; the only thing he'd wanted to do then was put a bullet into each of the Russians' heads." OKAY, that image right there is both sweet and hot. Sweet, because, awww, he wants to protect his girl! And hot, because, God, do I need to explain ? Deeks. So, hot, obviously. But Deeks with a gun, wanting nothing more than to smoke off whoever's trying to hurt his girl ? ALL RIGHT I AM DROOLING RIGHT THERE !

THIS: “One of those times came just after that; the end result of letting her go with the Russians. Surrounded by the eerie red light of the lasers, it had been the first time that Deeks had really been privy to all of her emotions – she hadn't been strong enough at the time to keep them hidden away. BUT IT’S OKAY KENS, DEEKS IS THERE TO BE STRONG FOR YOU. YOU CAN LEAN ON HIM. HE’S STRONGER WITH YOU, ANYWAY, SO PLENTY ENOUGH TO SHIELD YOU FROM THE WORLD. Her eyes, those dark, beautiful eyes of hers, *LOVE here because you know he gotta love those eyes even more than the rest of her body. How could he not be drawn by them, just like his are so dazzling Kensi loses herself in them every time she looks him in the eye ?* they'd been filled with fear and desperation *AND you know she gotta hate to see him see that, be a witness of that, and yet, he would never think any less of her*; the sight had filled Deeks with fear and desperation, because he hadn't been so sure that he could answer favorably the plea in her eyes, her silent plea to get her out of there. Beads of sweat on her face, her hair matted damply against the back of her neck, the slight trembling of her body as she tediously worked her way through the maze…it had been torture to watch; torture to know that one wrong move could abruptly take her away from him.” *RIGHT THERE, genius. Torture, exactly the word.*
Because it’s torture to imagine living without her, now. Because it’s impossible, the thought only is insufferable. He simply cannot.
“She'd probably kill him if she knew, but when she was finally safe and in his arms, Deeks had sworn never to let anyone take her ever again.” OKAY THIS IS, LIKE, THE MOST GORGEOUS THING EVER.

Oh, he feels guilty. :’( “…but that doesn't stop the guilt from churning deep within his stomach. He's her partner, after all. She can take care of herself, certainly, but he's supposed to ensure that she doesn't have to. He's supposed to have her back. » And he always does, because nothing matters more to him than keeping her safe. Always will.
Okay, this ? Awww, with tears. “Besides that, he simply cannot force himself to move past one utterly sickening fact: the last time he watched his partner being directed into someone else's car, the cost had nearly been her life.” He was so scared for her then, and he’s going through it again! Poor baby. :’(
WHAT THE FUCK SAM ?! Kensi, you will need to soothe that ache on your baby’s neck later… With a little massage. Kisses. Gentle nips. Hehe. SAM WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN ? Deeks is the one patient like a saint with fucking reckless Kensi badass Blye.

“It'd started out with minor fidgeting, shifting in his seat every couple of minutes. And then, it intensified. Sighing heavily. Tapping his fingers on various parts of the car's interior. Looking at his watch every thirty seconds. More shifting. And then it had culminated with Deeks telling Sam how to drive. THAT’S BECAUSE HE IS SCARED FOR HIS PARTNER ALL RIGHT ? THAT’S HER LIFE IN LINE RIGHT THERE. THE LIFE OF THE ONE PERSON HE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT. HIS PARTNER, HIS FRIEND. THE ONE WHO DAZZLES HIM WITH HER BEAUTY AND HER STRENGTH. THE ONE WHO MAKES HIM SMILE JUST AT THE SIGHT OF HER. SO GIVE HIM SOME SLACK SAM, WILL YA ?
It's maddening.
Even more maddening is the fact that Sam knows what it's about.
And it's not about the case.” SHUT UP SAM. LET THE MAN BE (AND LOVE)

I love the frustration, the growing annoyance in Deeks, because God dammit, Sam and his talking is making them lose Kensi and he cannot accept that. And how the well can Sam expect Deeks to understand what the fuck he means by being this cryptic ? Fuck it, big man. Stop being all so mean to my baby.

“Deeks shakes his head. "Anytime you want to clue me in on what you're talking about, that'd be great," he quips back. His gaze darts toward the open road, and damn it all he wants is for Sam to get back to driving.
He doesn't do that. Instead, he exhales deeply before giving a simple, clipped clarification. "With Kensi."
"With – with Kensi?" Deeks repeats, his blue eyes going wide. He can't quite figure out where that came from; NO ONE CAN, BABY, NO ONE CAN it's possible that he's a bit more transparent than he thinks when he contemplates. And that's something he's been doing for the entire duration of this ride – contemplating Kensi and her safety. "You saw those guys, Sam. They're armed and I don't like that there are three of them and only one of Kensi. She's good, but I don't think she can be that good."
Well, hey, there, I can perfectly understand Deeks gaping and being confused because, wth, Sam ? Where is this coming from ? As if now was the time for such a conversation.
“Sam Hanna is not a blind man; he knows there's far more to it than that. He's not deaf either, and the answer Deeks just gave him is the entirely wrong answer. It's an answer that screams of Kensi and not of the operation. It's a dangerous answer. "That's not what I'm talking about."
"Then what –"
He's blunt; he's found that's the best way to get something into Deeks' head. (SOMETIMES KENSI IS, TOO. WHEN SHE TELLS DEEKS TO FUCKING MOVE, HARDER. OR TO JUST TAKE HER RIGHT THERE AND THEN. Ahem.) "You can't fall in love with her."
Award of the most useless thing ever, Sam.

In the light of what we know now about Sam and his wife, how they met, their story, how complicated it must have been, I gotta see this was genius from you to write this piece. Because, really, he DOES perfectly know what he’s talking about here. He knows how hard it is to juggle between work and family, being overwhelmed by contradicting feelings, what you gotta do, what you should and what you want. And, he doesn’t want his friends to go through that. Not because he doesn’t want them to be happy (back in Tin Soldiers, it was more lust than anything else, but still; with everything that already happened between them, it was always gonna come to love someday, to something more than desire and some one-night stand. Bounty, Deliverance, Disorder hinted at that; and then, Empty Quiver and Personal, followed by so many others, will only make them grow as one.) And I think Sam wanna warns him because this ? It’s dangerous. The moment when lines get blurred.
The moment when you fall in love and you want to protect your girl, instead of having your partner’s back. But, heads-up, Sam: ain’t gonna work. Too late for that.
I love that whole exchange there between them. The entire dialogue, really. And the feelings each one has at the moment – Deeks, confused, and feeling guilty because he gotta be afraid that those feelings he’s accused of being overwhelmed by could mean something terrible for his Kensi. I mean, if Sam can see it, then it means he’s already letting them cloud his judgment, or at least, that’s what he has to be afraid of. And for him, there’s nothing more important than having Kensi’s back, so he gotta be so confused. Poor, poor baby. He only has her best interests at heart. :’(
I love that Sam says it has nothing to do with Traynor. I love that.
Sam glares. "Stop it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And it's not that." Deeks says nothing, and Sam shakes his head in growing annoyance. DON’T BE ANGRY

So, I was going to read in order, from the first KD story you wrote 'till the last, but you ask me the other day if I have read any of your stories, besides SM and Surfacing, and this is one of the ones I remember reading it (and loving it). I didn't knew you back then, I think this might even be the first story I read from you, but back then I was all into multichapters stories and I wasn't much into oneshots. I don't know why, but I used to skip most of oneshots and didn't give them a real chance. Maybe it was because I was so involved with HS and Deep, I'm not sure, but, thankfully, I have matured my opinion about fanfics. I realize now that oneshots are equally valuable/worthful as multichapter stories, and I'm sorry for ever thinking the oposite (a long time ago), because I've lost a lot of good stories along the way. Including yours! I even failed to realize that you were writing like a multichapter story with all those oneshots you wrote, now that I'm reading it (some rereading it), seems more like a single story that tells the amazing journey how Deeks & Kensi fall in love.
Anyway, what I remember back then was that I really liked this story, I liked it so much, that what you wrote sticked with me like it was real, like what Sam said to Deeks is the main reason why KD can't fall in love. Not sure if I'm making any sense, but it's like I had incorporate that in my mind, like it's a real reason that was really used in an episode or something and it's so real to me, that everytime I 'm reading a story or watching/talking about the show, this is like the main reason that pops immediately in my mind for them not be together, like I have internalized it. But I'm only realizing it now, rereading this story.
Not sure I made any sense, but, anyway, I remember loving this story so much because I really love a protective Sam (like I love a protective Callen) and I love Sam-Deeks relationship. I thought/think that this was really good, and you did a great job staying accurate with the characters, that it's like you're in their minds and you completely understand them. This is like a scene that I could easily seen being played out in the show, because it's so in character and so faithful to what Sam and Deeks are.
So, another amazing work, Jess, this is really well done! I truly loved your story the first time I read it and I am so sorry for not reviewing it then. I was a multichapter snob back then and I'm truly ashamed for that ;P

I remember distinctly the first time I read this story, because I had to put it down about four times and wonder how on earth you not only get and portray Kensi and Deeks as beautifully and consistently as you do, but now even more difficult and layered characters like Sam. It's really remarkable. But I think I appreciate this story so much because you gave me an angle on the Sam/Deeks interaction even the show hasn't provided. To me, Sam's always been dismissive of Deeks, or of his lack of training, or his hair, his persona, you name it, and for whatever reason, it's never sat well with me. Here, though, you make me understand him more. You make me get why he's wary of Deeks, why he's watching him so closely and critical of what he does in the field. You make Adam sympathetic in a way I've never rally seen or appreciated before, and really made me look at his character in a new light. That's honestly the best present a writer can give a reader, so truly, thank you.

I also love that though she's not here, Kensi's still a huge part of the action, and I think that just bolsters the veracity of the conversation in the car. Many authors are unable to balance that ad you are; it's a delicate and weighted thing, but you honestly make it look effortless.

"You can't, because the moment you do, that's the moment you put her life in jeopardy. That's when you screw up a fragile op because your head is clouded and you're thinking about her instead of the case. That's why there are rules, because you get caught in a firefight with someone you have feelings for, you can't think straight." His eyes harden severely, so much that Deeks finds himself struggling not to cower beneath the other man's gaze. "And I swear to God, Deeks, if you get Kensi killed because you're too preoccupied with being her knight in shining armor than with actually backing her up like her partner should be, then I will hunt you down and I will personally kill you." To quote the great philosopher Dido, I'm waving the white flag. I'm off to join the circus or something, because I'm just never going to be good enough.

Also, that last line? Deserves to be engraved in a monument in DC. Seriously.

"And it's the way you look at her," Sam continues. "And before you argue that tons of men look at her all the time, it's not like that. You don't look at her like you want to shove her against the wall and have your way with her." Deeks flinches at the bluntness of his statement, and it's just more evidence to Sam's suspicions. "You look at her like – like you're in constant awe of her. I've seen that look too many times, Deeks, and it never leads to anything good when it's combined with work."

That's exactly it.

Of course he wants to pin her to a wall. But he only looks at her like that, like 5% of the time. The rest is dedicated to looking at her like she's really WonderWoman.

I love that Sam/Deeks interaction. We don't get that often in the show though that could be interesting. Callen's too much of a lone wolf to be that wise, he's too reckless. Though they did hint in Plan B that he'd have a thing or two to say to Deeks about life. But Sam's much more of the wise man figure, and I really loved this.

What a nice, sexy puppy !

I really enjoyed this!

Nice. I really like seeing these two characters interact. They are so different, which makes things interesting.

OMG, this was outstanding. I loved this talk between the 2 guys. And I just loved the depth of Deeks' feelings for Kensi and how Sam saw through it. Loved the way Deeks thought that if he was in trouble, they won't care that much about him and Sam corrected him saying he's part of this family now. Also loved how Sam said that he and Callen will kill Deeks if Kensi gets hurt while he's distracted!

loved it so much! and especially that last line, that was just awesome! i absolutely love all of your kensi/deeks fics; you just always do such a good job with nailing the whole essence of them, i guess. anyways, great job! :)

really really awesome! so good!