i love longshot, i love smellerbee, its a shame there isnt more fan work for these two. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep writing them

the end? damn, was kinda hoping the next chapter would have been set after Jet's death.

This is so sweet. I think that you've captured their relatinship nicely. Brilliant story!

The moon being there and shining over Longshot and Smellerbee is probably Yue help guide their souls after they lost someone so important to them. It certainly fits the moment that her light brings Longshot and Smellerbee together (in contrast to when Sokka and Suki were alone in The Serpent's Pass)

Smellerbee lost what was probably a father figure or big brother in Jet and Longshot was the only person she ever grew attached to beside Jet-it would explain why she would ask for Longshot not to die. It's also cute for her to question marriage and love (I assume she's aout 12 years old and Longshot 14.)

And Smellerbee's definition of weddings is spot on and it's the core of why people marry: to be together with a person they love till their dying days. And the ending scene with Longshot's eyes showing happiness was beautiful-eyes are the windows to the soul after all. It would've been sweeter if he had a small smile on his face, but still just knowing that Longshot and Smellerbee can be happy after the horrible blow given to them is a relief.

Thank you for writing.

Longshot's past was very interesting. we don't know lot about his character except through his emotions and his movements (like how he staring at Smellerbee in "The Serpent's Pass" helps her to state that beauty is on the inside and that she was happy being herself). the fact that he can subdue Jet with an arrow going through his sleeve states that you shouldn't test his patience.

The paragraph of Smellerbee not looking feminine reminded me of that line, "That's because I'm not a guy. I'm a GIRL." and Iroh stating that her name was beautiful and all that. It also hints that Smellerbee never gets to BE a girl. She can't be innocent and happy-she's a tough as nails fighter trying to fight what is right after losing a loving mother (which hurts me a lot since I lost my mom a decade ago).

I also find it interesting of how Jet can see how the two "sleep together in the same bed". I never thought of Longshot and Smellerbee as a 'couple', but rather like a brother and sister relationship. We'll never know for sure, but perhaps these two will have a happy life together, wherever they go.

The whole Jet debacle was something left ambiguous in the show but the way Toph stated "He's lying" proved that the one who wanted to fight for freedom lost it for good. Just the way she said it, this snarky little girl who could easily be a living lie detectore whispering that last line just adds it home.

Plus we haver Longshot and Smellerbee, two of the only Freedom Fighters to have characters outside Jet's debut who have followed Jet to the ends of the world, only to lose it for good. Longshot must have it the most, if he has to follow Jet becoming crazy on his fight against the Fire Nation over the years.

The fact that these two must live despite their fearless, and tragic, leader falling tugs on your heartstrings. These kids aren't benders-they have bows and arrows and whatever they can find against the ones who can bend the elements at will. And if the title means anything-they probably are losing the one thing that could help them in the long run: hope. Will there be a closure for these two characters? Maybe, maybe not. That is up for us to consider even as the world falls down on them.

Thank you for writing.

Ah so lovely. So cute. So freaking adorable the two of them the way you've written them here. I never paid much attention to them before but I certainly ship them now. Beautiful writing on your part too with describing their moonlit bedroom.

/They were both pretty good at the "not dying" thing, better together than they would ever be apart. He couldn't imagine life without her, didn't want to. / -What a lovely way to express how he felt. I love the sound of these two lines too.

/"The one thing I do know about marriage," she said finally, "is that it's supposed to mean the two people will stay together forever, and usually means they have kids together. I don't think I want to have kids right now, but I do want to be with you forever; it's what I've always wanted."/

-That got a big fat AWWWWW from me. Overall, a very enjoyable story this was to read. I'm a puddle of happy feelings at the end.

You've captured Longshot's stoicism and reticence perfectly, a person for whom gestures and actions speak for him instead. I loved the third flashback especially because it has a bit of a comedic factor but also because Longshot's emphatic actions are very endearing in that scene. You characterized Jet really well too with all of his roguish charm. And Smellerbee was rather cute in her obliviousness.

In the first section, I liked how you went about describing Longshot given the tragedy that had just transpired, especially this bit: /Wandering, stumbling in the ashes of everything he'd ever known/ - a very evocative line. I did though found myself wishing to get a bit more of what he felt emotionally, some kind of telling gesture from him that was more than merely nodding to Jet's questions given that Longshot had basically just lost everything.

There was also a strange mood disconnect for me that the section ended with Jet's grin (which has positive connotations in sharp contrast to the beginning of the scene). It seemed so callous that Longshot had just lost everything and there wasn't even any acknowledgement of it. There was only focus on just how useful he would be to them regardless of his feelings. I don't remember them being so insensitive, but then again it's been ages since I've seen the show, so I could be wrong.

A couple other suggestions for the first section:
/Wandering, stumbling in the ashes of everything he'd ever known, three figures materialized through the smoke and morning fog. / -I think you meant Longshot to be the one wandering, stumbling, but he is never named as the subject so the intro phrase incorrectly modifies the three figures who appear.

/Three boys near his age, two taller than he and probably year or two older./ -This was another fragment that I felt would flow better if it was made into a complete sentence.

I also enjoyed reading the last section. We really feel sympathetic for Smellerbee here the way you sketched out her loss of a mother. I liked how you wove that aspect into how she doesn't even think she's girl enough, but then from section two, we know that Longshot thinks she's absolutely beautiful. Aw. And this bit here was the most striking for me in the whole chapter: /Looking into his eyes, she saw patience and raw memories of his own loss that showed he understood. She knew she was always welcome at his side./ -A beautiful sentiment that was beautifully expressed. Overall, a very enjoyable read for this chapter.

It's sad but a lovely take elaborating on a canon event.

It really added something that they weren't benders - it made an already emotionally difficult task all the more difficult and demanding and forced them to have to face the dead body of their friend and leader for longer. It made the piece stronger that you emphasized that aspect through your choice of details on how long and exhausting the whole process took.

I liked too how you made a repeated connection to the past in the third paragraph. Relating Smellerbee to her childhood self brought out the vulnerability of her in this moment, and evoking the fact that Longshot was physically different from his childhood self also was a good way to weave in the detail of not only how he's grown into a protector/comforter role for Smellerbee, but also the potential for her to see him in a different light if you continue on the romance angle.

Another aspect I really enjoyed about your take here is that Longshot didn't completely idolize Jet, but he is determined to preserve a perfect version of Jet in his memory, which I take is Longshot's way of honoring Jet as Longshot felt the man deserved. Whatever disagreements they may have had in the past paled in comparison. Really poignant.

I just have one suggestion for you for this chapter and that is in regard to this bit: /Their thanks for the years he'd put into protecting those the Earth Kingdom soldiers considered acceptable casualties and the scars he'd earned fighting the battles they considered inconsequential./
- It's a sentence fragment, which I know can be used for stylistic effect, but here I felt it was such a long fragment that it read more as being awkwardly incomplete. I would suggest a rephrasing. But overall, this was a lovely first chapter.

Again, nailed nailed nailed it. Such a perfect ending; it's romantic yet it goes over well because of the humor it's preceded by. The scene before it was just as powerful, especially with the moon shining on their swords. It's just so perfect, so sweet, flows so beautifully and so naturally. I don't know what to say that I haven't said before, so I'll just smile and nod. Fantastic work.

This chapter was even better than the first. I just love the subtleties and the nuances of how you write, it's simply marvelous. So quiet, so understated yet so involving at the same time. Magnificent, I must say. I wish I could capture the nuance you do here.

The bond between Longshot and Smellerbee is very descriptive in small ways; through actions and moments and not so much adjectives and dialogue. It's just there, it's natural, and it's all the more real for it. You also set up their dynamic really well, on an individual level and as a duo. Longshot is the silent stoic type and Smellerbee is the active, talkative type. It's a case of opposites, yet they don't feel very opposite, because there are too many things tying them together.

Jet just up and dying is the most dramatic drop of a main character I've seen in a show perhaps ever. I don't even know if he's addressed again in the show, even though I think Smellerbee and Longshot return. I've always been unsatisfied with that arc, and so I'm glad I know a trusty author who desires to fill that gap as well.

So far, it's believable, and it's simple. It doesn't need to be too complicated, and the simplicity does wonders. The writing doesn't take on a strong tone, letting the events speak for themselves rather quietly, and I like that. It's not cheesy, it's not saccharine, it's not over-the-top (in other words, it's not my writing.) It's rather beautiful, I must say.

(Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh fluff overload haha XD)

Despite the tragedy, this is insanely sweet and adorable. It's all these subtle emotions getting built up coupled with that playful innocent and child qualities to them that really enhance their characters. (But at least they have each other. :D) Ahh, the way you just meld their contrasting personalities together in a perfect blend and the way they just is know each other from Smellerbee trying to read his expressions to Longshot totally seeing that punch coming from a mile is just ah! Made my day. Cheers!

Tune

(I think after today, I now ship Longshot/Smellerbee haha. Rosa, what have you done haha?! You made them so ridiculously cute together! [The summary is very misleading though haha.])

It's so sweet seeing how they all met and bonded together. And Jet teasing them, oh my gosh it's just too funny to see how innocent Smellerbee is to all this, especially since it's from her POV there. XD Sometimes it's hard to remember they're just kids, and you brought that sense back with the little back stories sprinkled here and there, and only to remember what it will eventually lead up towards, aye yah…

Tune

Oh my gosh, gonna explore what Nickelodeon left out, huh? But it's nice to see that different side of them since Smellerbee's usually all rough and tough (but we finally see her in this position for once, oh man…), and Longshot has that same quietness to him, but actions speak louder than words after all. I'm glad we actually get to see Longshot's thoughts too since it's hard to tell with him sometimes. (So will we be seeing their new lives without Jet then? That's my prediction anyway haha)

Tune