This is incredibly sad. It's nice to see that even though they are vicious monsters, there are still people they choose not to harm, such as children.

Good work with describing David's first kill. I like that you have him admit to himself that her death was only an accident and later she got in his way. It's possible that it was only an accident and that while making his first kill the cravings and need to kill took control of him to where he could not stop. It's still sad that he killed a child, but you've done a great job showing his remorse.

The setting is nicely done. The details really paint a picture and set the somber mood of the story. The part where he hears the ghost is also well done. I like that you never actually mention if he's hearing her ghostly voice or if it's his own conscience (or what's left of it) talking to him.

The story is well written. You are a talented author.

Oh gosh! This is amazing! I like how it gives another side to David; he’s not so heartless. That poor little girl! Oh, it makes me so sad. I like how David feels about bad about it. This was so chilling and well written. Great work here! I need to read it again, and I shall as soon as I am done writing this. Seriously, it’s beautiful!

Etta

It's funny, but the first time I saw this movie I imagined David in a grave yard just like this. Not quite the same scenario, but still...and there was a song that went with it called 'Ritual' It's still one of my favorite songs that reminds me of the boys. So I can really see this happening, especially with David and it would probably make him a stronger vampire and leader. You know he carries this visage around that everyone takes as being an arrogant ass, into everything for his own purposes, but underneath that I think there is a lot more. It's tough being a leader, especially when you have Max breathing down your neck.

And this would haunt him forever I'm sure. But who's to say that her ghost couldn't come back? I like that it was just his mind, but I also like to think that anything in terms of the Supernatural is possible in their world.

I to agree also, to some extent that the boys would not feed off of children.

wow... that was really good, and SUPER creepy, but still really good! :D I really liked it! I loved the whispering wind! That was really cool! Love you! ladywolf101

Holy ...!

This is easily the best piece of work you have created and, good lord woman, I am speechlees. No, really speechless this time.

Do you know what peed me off. I saw it come through my mail, but I can't click on messages, (it's buggered) and I was like...what character is it, how long...Oh no, I'm rambling again. I had to access this the long way. :(

I wasted five god damn minutes trying to access this. I was peeved I had to wait so long, hehe. My internet is fucking shit.

Oh, motherly heck, I just adore your writing on David. Am dead from your awesomeness. :D That girl, oh that poor, poor, sweet girl. I always wondered if the boys victims haunt them. This was just so utterly heartwrenching, a distinct haunting edge to it, and this is a sort of story my little sister would tell me when I stay over with my family, haha. You know, torches and stuff? pitch black room...

You slip the emotion within him just...

*Iz dead* I cannot put to words how just...happy I am with this piece of work.

His sorrow, slight bitter hate for what he did is just tragic, brutual, cold, and unforgiving. Such a unique piece of work and...

Your descriptions, your descriptions of the graveyard was haunting, bone chilling, spine tingling, lip bleeding, and creepy.

I have to add this to fav's :D

*Gives you a pink flower and a kitty*

Brill work here, lovey.

x