okay, to be honest I only got through the first few 'paragraphs' Still, I have feeling that the idea for the fic is good, just a little poorly executed. Since you don't say on your profile if english is a first language I have no idea if it's a style thing, or a not knowing english thing, but here's a few things I would say you should change to actually have a readable fic.

1) separate when different people are talking by paragraphs. This isn't personal preference, it's a professional requirement. Pick up any book from the bookstore, you will fail to find an exception

2) don't preface every dialouge with "so-and-so said" Two reasons. 1, it's repetitive (which becomes annoying) and two, its not creative. Add some variety to how they say things "exclaimed, called, cried, murmured, yelled" etc

3) things feel two rushed, probably because of excessive use of dialouge. Take some time to slow down and add some more descriptive words and sentences. They're in town. Doing what? Walking the lane to shop, visit a friend, heading to the academy or home. How does the other person approach them? Casually with hands in pockets, running and waving their arms, noticing them as they're walking to their own destination. Paint a picture, or things just run together.

Well, that's everything I can think of. Hope you're able to improve, and I hope you keep writing. Always do what you enjoy. Take care.

k, thanks for character bios at end that was useful in understanind characters

nice story, wondering what happened to Sasuke, grammar check

um, good story here but... grammar improvment

um this seems good but one thing the word "said" is being used a lot. Try using different words instead of "said" for when a character speaks. Just trying to give helpful advice. I'm not trying to be rude. Also i love the concept of this story ;3.

How cute ... Naruto's Growing Up So Fast ... He already has two kids!

I don't know why but I feel that Naruto will die. I hope not, having a baby that is not even born yet.

I wonder what name you will give her ... But is this really a girl x)?

I add story to story alert. I hope you will update soon ;)

See you soon

ha ha ha sakura-sensei!