I'm rereading some of my favorite stories and this happens to be one. I know it's been years, but you do know that Gwen wasn't second in command right? Watch the Real Jack Harkness one and Owen tells Ianto that he is second.

Liked it - except they forgave the others way too easily. Owen and Tosh, alright, they didn't do anything that bad. But Gwen took out her jealously rather rudely and basically said that now that she knows Jack's not interested that he's a secretive bastard, Ianto's a lovesick lapdog, and that she was being led on even though she kept bringing up her engagement as proof she wasn't jealous. It would've been better if she hadn't just gave a half-assed apology that still seemed to shift blame away from her. Honestly the only thing Jack and Ianto are 'to blame for' is not being so overt with their relationship - it's not their fault the others decided that he was in love with Gwen for whatever inane reason and that they decided to act like spoiled brats when things didn't fit their views.

You had a couple of spelling mistakes, but overall it was a nice story that was fairly well written.

Quite enjoyable. Thank you for sharing.

The story is good and since English is not your first language your sentence structure and most of your spelling is amazing but there are many spelling mistakes and usage of the incorrect words.

For English not being your native language, you're doing a good job so far. Just minor tweaks, but you're English is great. And I'm really enjoying this so far, even though I've only read one chapter so far.

Triquetra123

This is really excellent! Your English is also very good and there are very few mistakes. You are a fantastic writer!

Aww! This was kinda sad but oh so sweet! Loved the end.

I hope your health has improved. I enjoyed the story very much.

The first chapter looks good. I look forward to reading the other chapters here. You've gone a great job so far if English isn't you're first language. Just a few little spelling mistakes (words that sound the same but are spelled differently are not always caught by the computer). However nothing too obvious or bad.

Hello! I just wanted you to know, that was well done, especially if English isn't your first language. Thank you for publishing this.

Love this. Just check spelling.

Okay, I'm going to attempt to write a poem about your story, because I'm in that kinda mood. Here goes;

If I told you it was good,

It would be an understatement.

If I told you it was addictive,

I wouldn't have said enough.

If I said you're writing was brilliant,

I would he doing you no justice,

So I'm going to continue reading,

All of the things you've written.

this is true.

Yeah you finished this. Great concept.

Just a few niggles. You really need to get a beta. Your story was full of spelling mistakes for example I tolled you

Its 'I told you'. 'Once' not 'ones.' Okay not O.K. 'You led me on' not I 'let you on'

Also all sentences must begin with a capital letter.

Fanfic has a list of beta's who I am sure would be willing to give your work a check.

Regards

Gentle... ok.

Read up on spelling and I think that covers the technicalities. _

Try to remember Ianto and Jack are grown men. They know how to hint, a.k.a. speak less, say more, choosing words carefully. Doesn't mean they always succeed (adults, that is), but they try. More experience in choosing words and being interrupted than us less adult.

Nice beginning and my favorite couple. _

Not quite my cup of tea though, so I'll move on for now.