Great second chapter! What I noticed right away was a similarity in length to the previous chapter, genius or madness? Onto the chapter; I like the subtle introduction of Sasori and a quick description, which to my amazement didn't irritate me as many character descriptions do (especially ones including a description of clothing). And "snobby, stoned, pretty boy" made me snort with laughter. Plus great subtle Deidara characterisation, showing autodestruction and a certain individual quality by having him burn his sketchbook.

On a technical note, no major errors, except maybe something here and there, for example, I noticed a skipped "you" after snobby-stoned-pretty-boy (still funny by the way).

On an ending note, I'm STILL obsessing over how cool the summary is. Which is very very cool. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Very interesting indeed! I loved all the details you used! I anticipate the next chapter anxiously.

i enjoyed reading this during smphony band! i cant wait to spend a day with my mucho macho super hott author. i cant wait for sasoris appearance

love it~ hope you update soon . wanting to read more~

Matt The Kid

I think you are off to a great start on this! I really enjoyed reading the first chapter and think its very well written. The characters seem so in character too which always improves fics in my opinion. I love the friendship between Deidara and Hidan too. Looking forward to reading more and Sasori's entrance, as well as their relationship and how it develops and the events that occur. Hope you update soon and thanks for writing!

Wow, great job! I really like the realism. Many AUs are so immature and make the characters into some kind of infantile idiots. Not to mention complete OOC, which is extremely annoying to a reader who not only wants to be entertained but to also actually feel a great story unfolding. Your writing style is very even and pleasurable to read, and there aren't many errors, with the only ones that I spotted right away were some punctuation errors which slightly break up the flow of the sentences.

On another note, I could wax poetic about the summary. It is just amazing, cool, awesome, great and all these things combined. "Struggle of identity, masculinity and morality" just sounds like something from a blurb of a literary Nobel winner. It just sounds amazing!

Good luck and pleasepleaseplease don't abandon this story after three chapters, as many ffiction writers are wont to do :)