Wow. Seven years old.

I just read this fic in a bit of a binge, and I just have to tell you how much I enjoyed it. Maybe you won't even see this message, but... thank you for writing such a wonderful story.

Oh, and I'd also like to say: I noticed pretty easily English wasn't your first language, but all the improper grammar somehow didn't detract from the story at all. I actually kind of liked it. : It was like reading with an accent, and I love accents! It gave it character in a weird short of way. But, that's just how I personally felt about it.

But it wasn't that bad! Really, everything was still understandable, and I'm sure you've improved since then!

Nice job! This was recommended to me, and I decided to give it a go despite the fact that I have little knowledge(or interest) in Fleetway. I am glad I did, because it was a great read. I'll be sure to check out some of your other work!

Awesome fic! I loved it! Is there a sequel?

The title is the same as a sonic the hedgehog comic issue, one nearing the werehogs appearance. Not sure what number.

His nightmare was of fleetway, right? Fix seems promising so far, btw.

-First section is okay. Feels like it stretches on a bit too long, though that might be due to coming straight from the previous chapter, how it operated in shorter sections. That, and Knuckles going on about the emeralds at this point in time feels more like an info-dump of sorts, as if it’s clearing up the final pieces of story at the very end of it.

-The second section is better. It’s at the right length to convey what it needs to convey (okay, could be a bit shorter, but I won’t get into semantics). I feel it works on two levels. The first is on the “STC level,” as in, within the concept of STC itself. Robotnik did indeed once rule the planet, but those days are gone. He has to make something of himself now. The second level, closely related to the first, is the idea of transition – under the premise that this is meant to be a transition from STC to your Segaverse-esque ‘Triple Threat’ continuity, then it works on that sense too, for the reasons described, and also the removal of the drakons. In a way, it reminds me of comic books itself, how major events such as this happen every so often and it signals a change in the status quo. So in that sense, it works. Status quo has changed, Robotnik has to start again, cue ‘Triple Threat’ continuity.

-Last few sections are okay. Especially like Sonic’s running section. I’m guessing the ring on Flickies Island is a hint of the return of the drakons, but if so, wondering where they are now in your current continuity (or did I miss something?)

So, that’s that. Epilogue and story done. Now here comes the more iffy part. I mentioned at the end of the review I did in the last chapter about character focus, which brings me to this story as a whole. And…well, this is me waxing lyrical, so feel free to stop reading here. But if you’re a glutton for punishment, dig in.

This story as a whole, while the last two chapters have definitely been good, falls into a realm between “okay” and “good.” This is in contrast to stories such as ‘Watch the Hourglass’ and ‘The End of the Rainbow’ which at least fall into the “good” category and got on my favourites list for a reason. This story, while it’s matched those stories in some areas, isn’t on my list. I don’t mean that in a snide way, but I feel of the flaws of those stories (and the strengths), it is a case of amplifying those flaws and maintaining the strength.

If there’s something this story has in common with the other two, it’s its general structure. For ‘Watch the Hourglass’, the main issue was that the time traveling with Sonic and Knuckles felt like a ‘plot detour.’ With ‘The End of the Rainbow’, the final chapters felt segregated from the rest of the story due to the change in location and time jump. Here, the plot structure is far more hazy. It’s there generally (Sonic and Knuckles with emeralds, other Freedom Fighters and Sky Pirates), but I wouldn’t be able to designate a distinct beginning, middle, or end. There’s not enough buildup to the threat, and while a story doesn’t need a threat to work, it’s the basis for this story. Drakons. Robotnik. Sonic learning how to control the emeralds. The plot is certainly comprehensible, but doesn’t have the pacing one would expect from the average story. The other stories at least had some of that structure.

On the plus side, the character writing remains good, and in my not so humble opinion, I think that’s where your greatest strength lies. The last two chapters are a good example of how you can write for this setting’s characters, but there are plenty of other examples too (Amy comes to mind at this time of writing). That, at least, has been a constant strength.

So in a way, I’m kind of glad I read this after the other fics, because it allows me to appreciate the improvements that have been made. It’s reassuring to see that you’ve got better over time. So to end this review, I’ll say that this story, while not up to the same level as the other ones, is still decent, and an enjoyable read. And if ‘Mirror’s Edge’ (which, according to your profile, is what you’re currently writing), can keep the strong characterization while having a stronger plot structure, it could easily surpass them.

So at the end of the day, all in all, good job.

-Victory with a question mark? Well that just gives the mood away doesn’t it?! 0_0

-First section is okay. For what it conveys, it does so well, but it feels too short for the event to have the impact it should. Robotnik ejects, fleet burns…I think that deserves more than a paragraph.

-“Panting hard, Sonic…”

Cut out “hard.” Panting by itself conveys physical exertion.

-Second section is good – if anything, it’s akin to what the first section should be. Sonic observes sight, loses super powers, starts falling. It’s a nice callback to the ending of ‘Sonic the Hedgehog 2’ and works on its own here, being long enough to convey Sonic’s exhaustion.

-Third section is good too, with Knuckles helping Sonic, yet thankfully staying out of ‘feely territory’ (personal view, but while I think ‘feely stuff’ can work between Sonic and Tails, Sonic and Knuckles…not as much).

-Like Sonic’s ‘sorry section.’ It’s a bit clichéd/melodramatic, but still works. Admittedly though, I’m seeing it through an STC lens mostly, the notion that finally Sonic decides to act mature and less of a jerk.

-Also like the idea of the emeralds being ‘worried.’ Fits in with the properties ascribed to them in the story.

-And through Amy, a character asks for bad news for. That’s…different…in fiction I find characters almost always ask for the good news first. Go figure.

-All in all, strong chapter. It’s character focussed and works well because of that. In fact…well, I’ll save it for the epilogue (see? I can throw in question and exclamation marks too!)

-First section is good in setting an action tone. Kinda falls a bit into “psycho” Super Sonic territory, but not inherently.

-Third section, Amy’s kinda falling into psycho territory herself, but combining a hammer with drakon foot soldiers, I suppose there’s precedent for that. At the least, it does convey a certain intensity to the battle. The drakons are powerful foes, and the writing captures that.

-Sonic destroying the battleships is a good scene, in that a) it’s harkening to game mechanics in a good sense, the way he just ploughs through them ala the asteroid stage in ‘Sonic and Knuckles’ and b) it’s got good visual description. Harkens to ‘Shadow the Hedgehog’ in a way, with the Egg Fleet vs. the Black Arms.

-The scene between Knuckles and the drakon runs the risk of falling into cheese territory, but manages not to do so. Partly because Knuckles, as guardian, can get away with it, partly because it (may be reading too much into it) harkens to the ancient conflict between the echidnas and drakons. History repeats itself and all that.

-Like the interaction between Robotnik and Grimer. Fits his STC character, showing him as the menace (Robotnik) he is.

-All in all, very good chapter. Is action, but well written action.

It was a good story! But it had a bit too much about the chaos emeralds.

-First section is okay, but has info-dumpish elements in it. Admittedly, it might be more due to the writing style, in that while previous chapters have focussed on distinct moments in time, this one covers an extended period of time within the one section. Then again, it being simply summarized that Porker tells Sonic about Robotnik’s imminant portal ring rather than showing the transmission takes out a lot of the tension.

-Second section feels redundant. Yeah, Sonic doesn’t like waiting…it may be a ‘calm before the storm’ moment, but in this chapter, the ‘storm’ hasn’t really been built up. Said tension DOES come in the fourth section, but it makes the first and second sections feel somewhat redundant as a result.

-First section…well, Captain Plunder seems to be in “follower mode.” Fits his character from what I recall of it.

-“Excuse my disturbance, but an urgent notice from our secret advance party on Mobius reached us," the servant apologized, shuffling into a submissive stance. Luckily for him, his ruler's rage was short-lived. Interest caught, the Emperor dropped his anger.”

Writing’s off here – you mention that the emperor’s rage is short lived, but there’s no sign of that rage ever existing in the first place, only mild irritation at being interrupted. Show, don’t tell, and all that.

-Second section is…eh, really. Robotnik betraying the Drakons…Drakons planning on betraying him…honestly, it’s par for the course with these kinds of villains. True, it beats them working in harmony and is realistic by virtue of that, but…well, y’know…

-"You still think too much," Knuckles remarked in a quiet voice.”

Well…that’s something I never expected Knuckles to say to Sonic. 0_0

-Anyway, moving on, like the emerald telepathy scene. Like it because it works on the ‘feely’ level, as in…well, they’re chaos emeralds, telepathy arguably comes with part of the package. It also serves as good character development for Sonic. His reflections on Porker are nice – whether the character development refers to this story as a whole (in that he’s much less abrasive here than he was near the start of the story) or in his STC portrayal as a whole, it shows character development either way. The reflections on Robotnik are also good, and considering that he was responsible for Kintobor becoming Robotnik in the first place, pertinent as well.

-"What? How dare these fools betraying me,"

Should be “betray.”

-Anyway, Robotnik fuming at being betrayed…yeah, it mirrors the drakon scene, but works better here. Firstly, it has the benefit of mirroring in the first place, so one gets a “hah, irony!” moment. Secondly, the whole fuming process feels better suited to Robotnik than the drakons, though that’s quite subjective admittedly.

-Anyway, like this chapter more than the past two. It’s not quite a bridging chapter, because I can see distinct events (betrayal scenes) and a clear path for those events to follow (conflict). It’s developing the story rather than stringing it along, if that makes sense. That, and the character development was better here too IMO.

-First section…um, did Knuckles suddenly develop an aversion to conjunctions? I mean, yeah, nitpicking, but it kinda sticks out…

-"You say… the Drakons are here to wait everything out and then get Mobius for themselves? Behind old Eggman's back?"

And you’re surprised? 0_0

-Second section is…a bit eh. The bit at the end kinda undercuts any sense of dread the arrival of the drakons might have inflicted. Now apparently in the five minutes the Freedom Fighters came up with a plan to elict laughter and whatnot, and maybe the humour will come later, but as of this point in time, the humour just feels out of place.

-Nice reflections with Knuckles concerning climbing. Makes sense for him to consider it given his game abilities.

-Anyway, chapter as a whole…you mentioned in your PM that like the one before it, it was an intermezzo. And…yeah, that comes across. Sonic and Knuckles are climbing, Freedom Fighters are basically planning, I’m not getting a sense of much actually HAPPENING. This is the tenth chapter of a 15 chapter story (counting the prologue and epilogue as chapters), and it feels like we’re still in the buildup phase. The part 1 of a three-act structure.

Anyway, time will tell what future chapters have in store.

-There’s probably irony on some level as to a pig rejecting lunch for other matters… 0_0

-Chapter as a whole, not too much to say I’m afraid. I get the sense it’s more of a bridging chapter – first section, characters are planning, second section, Sonic and Knuckles are presented with a new obstacle/task (the tunnel). Not that this is bad – if anything, I’m glad that in the first section the characters are addressing the issue of the drakons, and the portal plot point ties in nicely with how STC treated zones on Mobius. But being a bridging chapter, I’m afraid not that much stands out to me besides that.

“…you jerks!", she complained aloud,”

Cut out “aloud” – that she’s speaking makes that clear.

-That aside, first section as a whole, concerning Amy – well, I mentioned in the past chapter that swinging between ‘Sega Amy’ and “STC Amy” had made her character inconsistent, and reading this, I can’t help but remember her as she was a few chapters ago. But being in the “STC Amy” camp right now, she fits that camp well – loyal to the team, outspoken, etc.

-Sky Pirates seem a bit bloodthirsty here. I can’t recall how accurate that is or not from the comics I’m afraid, but in the context of the story itself, it’s a refreshing change personally, that in contrast to Sonic and Knuckles being buddies, it’s ‘nice’ to know that somewhere on Mobius that thugs exist.

…yeah, that’s how I roll. 0_0

-The notion of Angel Island adjusting its flight path via conscious choice (or what amounts to consciousness) is an idea I like. As far as I can tell it doesn’t harken from the comic series (if it does, transfer the praise to Fleetway) but it gives it a ‘Chaosy’ feel. Yes, I’ve used that term before and in a different context, but in this one, as in, the idea of a ‘living’ Master Emerald, a guiding consciousness, etc. Something that as I recall, was used in your ‘Triple Threat’ stories Arguably a minor point, but credit where credit is due.

-Moving a bit down, like the interaction between Sonic and Knuckles. I mentioned in a previous review about conflict being the essence of drama, and you responded through PM. I bring it up because the interaction here hits a sweet spot – enough to keep the dialogue interesting and more in-character to them in this continuity, but not to the point where their characters become obnoxious.

-The section with Tails and Sab…doesn’t work as well I’m afraid. Firstly, Tails going on about the Drakon Empire feels like it’s telling rather than showing. Yes, I know the Drakon Empire has canonically established itself to be a deadly fighting force by this point, but in the context of the story, it still rings a bit hollow for Tails to be talking about their power without anything really being shown. I admit I may be setting an unfair standard (fanfic, assumed knowledge, such knowledge includes the Drakon Empire), but at the least, the way it’s presented rings hollow.

The second issue is how quickly Sab agrees. Sab tells Tails to let the flock discuss the matter. A few lines later, they agree to help. If conflict resolution occurs so soon after the conflict itself begins, the conflict itself feels hollow. That, and since we don't see the discussion, it arguably breaks the "show, don't tell" rule as well (granted, such a rule can be broken).

-"Stop insulting my friends or I'll get mad at you!", Amy called over at him.

I think Amy’s already mad…

-That aside, section itself is good, especially the interaction between Amy and Plunder.

-Amy’s hammer…well, I’m kind of left to ask, what was wrong with her crossbow. Then again, Archie Amy had her hammer just appear, SX Amy had her hammer just exist, Sega Amy had her hammer just be around by SA1…so in some strange way, I suppose your account is the most plausible.

That probably says something about the series as a whole really. ;)

-Anyway, chapter as a whole, it’s definitely one of the stronger ones IMO. Tails and Sab remain the weak link, but otherwise the writing is strong. Or, admittedly, more to my liking. I like your take on Amy, I like the swashbuckling nature of her scuffles with the Sky Pirates, I like the Sky Pirates themselves, and I like how the interaction between Sonic and Knuckles is in a happy middleground for my personal taste. Course, “personal taste” is arguably the key word in that sentence, but…well, like I said, chapter’s good. For subjective, but hopefully objective as well.