Wow. I'm gutted I have only just found this...and it's so short! I have so many questions! It's really well written and I really loved Dan he was a great addition. Knew it was worth digging in the archives and it's nice to read fan fiction about the original.

Fantastic story! I loved how it chopped and changed. Yet I would love for it to continue - maybe a sequel?
Fingers crossed! :)

very cool. I like the idea of an outsider, specialy seeing the interactions would have been cool. nice job!

I loved this story the first time I read it for the Fic Swap and I love it even more now. The changes made a great story even better.

I love the way you switched from past to present still using the same first person POV. And what a great OC Daniel Miller is! He’s very, very good at what he does – otherwise Jeff never would have recruited him – yet he feels so inferior in the face of IR operatives. The adult tone of the story, the hints of the violence that occurred before Daniel arrived, not pulling any punches in the descriptions all made for a gripping story.

The brothers were written perfectly. You could feel their love for each other and the raw fear that they might lose yet another brother to severe injury or death, yet they were still written as adult males. No weepy, overdone emotional breakdowns, just a fierce need to get the job done while still obviously afraid of what a second attempt could cost them.

One of my favorite scenes:

'So…' He swivelled slightly in his seat. 'Were you on Sentinel when…'

'Nope.' I knew where that question was going. 'But I'm assuming that was you they took on board? I heard you made quite an impression on the crew.' I looked questioningly at his unassuming profile, tried to picture Gordon as the unforgiving SOB that was talked about at WNHQ for months. 'The captain went out on stress leave as soon as he hit New York, you know.'

-I love the hints of Gordon telling the Sentinel crew and captain exactly what he thought of them! :-) I’ve always thought that for all his easy-going ways, Gordon would be one person you don’t want to have mad at you.

My second favorite part:

There was a hollow popping sound, a metallic clunk that reverberated through the hull of the sub, and then the world dropped out from under us as Thunderbird Four, and the hold she was secured in, went into sudden freefall.

'Holy shit!' My ass lifted centimetres off the floor, weightless, and then came crashing back to pressed metal as the pod smacked hard onto the surface of the sea. 'Jesus Christ! What the hell was that?'

'The fun part.'

-ROTFL! :D A perfectly written, well placed touch of humor in an otherwise very dark story.

'You're here,' Gordon said, in a voice that was edged with resignation, 'because there's a man on that station that wants us dead.'

There was silence in the DSV as I digested that bit of information.

'And because,' he continued, 'I can't be trusted not to kill him.'

-Further proof that you do not want to cross Gordon. I really like the way Daniel handled the conversation previous to this part, letting Gordon know he really did understand ‘need to know’ but that he really DID need to know more than what they had told him.

I stepped back into the aft compartment – there had to be weaponry on this boat somewhere.

'Port locker,' Gordon called out, intuiting my intent.

-So believable, given both of their military backgrounds, that they’d be able to work this effortlessly together even though they’ve only just met. Also a testament to Jeff’s ability to choose just the right people for what he needs.

Excellent imagery when TB4 blows up! I felt like I was in there with them and given I have no frame of reference, that’s some great descriptive writing. Though my heart sank right along with her when she went into the trench. :-( But that makes the story even more realistic.

'You're insane.'

I want to say it loudly, I want him to know that I know. But my voice fails, the words catching in my throat, emerging barely as a whisper.

He leans close, breath hot on my face, as though a furnace burns inside him.

'Some have said so.' He smiles, but it is a dangerous smile. Feral. 'My own father said those very words the day he left me to the mercies of the Sarawak.' His lip curls and he stands, aims a kick at the white-hot hell inside me.

Jee-zus.

The pain is blinding, sparks spinning hot across my vision. And when my eyes clear I see his feet are stained with blood.

My blood.

-Without ever saying so outright, this paints a picture of someone with no heart, no soul, no morals, no compassion what so ever, and that is exactly what the Hood would really be like. The fact that his own father saw it in him is chilling.

I think the best part of this rewrite is the final scene you added at the end. The ending you originally had seemed to be perfect but this addition blew it out of the water (pardon the pun!). It is so understated, ties things up, yet leaves just enough unanswered. We don’t really know that the first IR operative – Scott, I presume – is still alive. We don’t know for certain that Gordon and Dan were rescued (but I’d find it hard to believe they weren’t). We don’t know that the Hood didn’t manage to escape somehow, even if they were rescued and he was taken into custody. Or was he taken back to Tracy Island? Did Jeff dispense with his own kind of justice once he got the answers he wanted – IF he got the answers he wanted?

I always think I’m one of those readers who only likes stories with happy endings, all questions answered and everything tied up in a nice, neat bow. And then I read a masterpiece like this and it blows all my perceived preferences away. Thanks for a truly gripping story! Sometimes the best stories are the ones that leave you wondering – and wanting more.

Alaina

I love this story. Can I just say that? It's dark, it's gritty, it's grown-up...and it all rings totally true. In the real world, where pain really hurts and people really die, and megalomaniacs like Belah Gaat aren't figures of fun but cruel, ruthless and brutal opponents, this is how it would play out.

Great job on the rewrite. Giving it some time was a good idea indeed. Where the original was a bit TOO nihilistic and "life's a bitch and then you die" - which might be true to the situation, but doesn't really work with the overall spirit and message of Thunderbirds - this rewritten version gives you the hope and satisfaction of a goal reached, even if they had to crawl through broken glass and barbed wire to cross that finish line. And you did it without compromising the integrity of the story at all.

Brava! :-)

Wow. I've said that a couple of times in the past couple of days. I am really impressed with this story. Keep in mind I never read the original version-hadn't come back to the fold as yet then.

So this being my first time out on this, it is written in a way that makes me thoroughly envious of your talent. GREEN with envy, I might add. It's raw, not flowery. You thrust imagery into our brains like a knife and leave it embedded there when you take the next stab at us. It's gritty and above all, it's REAL.

Not only was the story itself a good one, but the way in which the characters act and are described is more believable than so much of what we see written these days. You are an incredible writer. I can only aspire to be as good.

I'll say it again: WOW.

The past few weeks have been awesome here on . There have been s ome wonderful stories being posted and Duty Calls is definitely one of them. I can only imagine how difficult this topic was to write in the 2010 TIWF challenge and let me say that the rewrite you insisted on was worth every day of the wait. "Polly"(which I say with the utmost respect!) - this story is now just so enjoyable to read.

The first thing you did right here was use the first person. We catch more than a glimpse into our Secret Agent's world and how he sees the International Rescue operatives. One of my favourite lines is the Tracy brothers in full flight.

""Don't give me that shit,' . 'Do not give me that shit!'

How real,given the situation and such a jolt into understanding - this is serious shit. I can actually hear it. When a writer can do that to me I am just so thirlled.

There were also several other lines, particularly those when Gordon's laid remarks disguise that Jeff Tracy is actually his Father. I love the POV of the Agent when thinking about, interacting with,and entering the world of Jeff Tracy. He comes across as a hard bastard (Jeff I mean) but one who is respected and fair. Just as I see him!

Something also unique is John being the TB1 pilot and his interesting relationship with Virgil, his older brother. He has no hesitation in his exchanges here and I love the dialogue as you have written it.

There is so much that is right with this story, it is hard to summarise it all in a review. Can I just say - well done - the rewrite was worth it and I salute you for a job well done!writer.

yours in writing

mcj

Polly! Absolutely brilliant story so far! I love your style of writing, very expressive, to the point and you really build the suspense.

I can't wait for the next installment.

Can you tell me who the injured man is (please don't let it be Scott, although it's obvious it must be) and is he alright (please, please)? Or must I suffer in the sharp bite of suspense for the next chapter?