I don't know what was more sad, their utterly unhelpful, and quite damaging, actions with the intention of helping, or the fact that Allen was the sole target of this whole mess. And it was just one day. One. Bloody. (Hellish) Day.

...

It pissed me off.
No, no, not you or your fic, dear author. In fact, it's not exactly you're fault that the Black Order is a mental facility. (In which Allen is unfortunately stuck in) No, definitely not, right? Although there were a few parts where I had the urge to laugh, still, it was more of a hysterical laughter rather than a mirthful one, so I'm not sure whether it even counts.

If we're taking about the fic's technicalities however, I don't really have much to complain about. I rather liked the organization, and the steady vibe it has throughout the whole fic. Especially considering it's length as a one-shot. (It's really difficult to keep it interesting as the word count increases. You did a quite excellent job at that.) It was presented, and written beautifully. I don't think I need to say more than that, do I?

...I'm really amazed Allen hasn't dead already. Sometimes I feel that writers (myself included) are just abusing their characters too much.

It was both humorous and angsty. I loved it!

this story is super funny! Love the quotes

I loved it.

It is a piece of art!

God, its so well-written.. And you know the characters so perfectly! How to make them act, their relationships with others, what to make them say.. You certainly spotted-on with everything

I hope Ill be reading more of your works in the near future!

This fanfic was pure awesomeness from begginning to end. I especially liked the Forest and Robot moment XD So adding this to my favourites!

Very funny, although not the kind of funny that makes you go "LOL!" like a moron. I chuckled and smiled most of the way through it. It was almost witty enough to make Oscar Wilde proud and somewhere towards the end I suddenly realised that this was another one of those "just your average day at the Order where craziness and lunacy are rampant" stories (because I didn't read the author notes in the beginning - left that part 'til the end). Until now I had never thought that any one of those kinds of stories could be good. A great kind of story to read when it's cold/dark/rainy and you have nothing else to do because the length is a little bit scary for a one-shot.

I think it's actually more of a drama than a tragicomedy, really. I didn't get any real sense of tragedy at all... just melancholy. What really interested me is that rather than lighten seriousness with jokes you actually dampened jokes with seriousness. Not saying that's bad though, just interesting. However, some of the irony gets quite convoluted and jokes aren't as funny when you have to remember that they happened.

In addition, the plot didn't really take me anywhere because by the time we get to the end we're back at square one (the progression is like: funny, funnier, I think I might start to LOL, serious, not funny anymore, end joke brings us back to funny). The characters don't really change either, it's kind of like it's just a really long introspection. I guess it feels nice because that way its all wrapped up but its essentially circular because the end is the same as the start, so there's no real resolution.

Some of the nouns, phrases and clauses get really repetative, as well. Sometimes I was reading something thinking "I swear I just read nearly exactly the same thing less than five minutes ago". Some paragraphs start with a concept and then proceed to contradict it and not in the funny way (1st paragraph of Act 1: you stated that Link thought missions were "fairly entertaining" and then proceeded to discuss how much of a pain they were, which doesn't make sense). Occasionally, your writing was also self-disruptive: you wrote something, it was fine, then you used technically correct but misplaced punctuation that interrupted the flow of whatever was being written.

Also, the tempo of the plot's development didn't change. It had a steady pace throughout its entirety which wasn't exciting at all. The organisation was very neat and functional. I then got a little urge to laugh at the end when I realised that mostly everything you listed in the beginning and the summary were a lie... I'm not sure if you intended that or if I just tripped over some coincidental irony.

All in all, it was an entertaining story... and believe it or not, I'm not used to saying that anymore. There were more things that made me smile than made me annoyed. A comedy that I think will pander mostly to highly educated people, which is unfortunate because this site doesn't seem to have many of those.

D

good story though the summary is a bit of lie wouldn't you say

The Earl Grey with lemon was an amazingly funny motif (whatever it's called). I enjoyed this fic - it was very much a comedy, with some darker undercurrents.

I like how you attribute certain quotes to the various people, and your general organization of this whole fic.

Hope to see more fics from you soon! (:

This. Story. Is. Amazing.

I don't know where to begin to describe how awesome it is. :D You perfectly captured a day in the life of Allen Walker without me even realising it until I reached the end and ran through the story again in my head. Everyone was very in-character and it was very funny. :D I loved Neah's part too. Favourited to read again another day. 3

Oh, Allen.

You really captured how the exhaustion just creeps up on him and how he really is just a kid with a lot of burdens and no way to get away from them.

I did laugh at a few scenes - the robot scene, the soup scene...it's good to see so many people trying to cheer Allen up even if their attempts did lead to making him more exhausted and upset than happier.