Great story! Can’t wait to read more. However, being away from Valdemar, you seem to have lost your center.

We’re 20 chapters in and we’re still not clear on why Kerchen was chosen? Yes, he has farsight but others do as well and don’t get chosen. He needs to be special but instead he’s a my way or the highway sort of guy; unable to learn, or change even after 2 years at Colligium. His only real ability is to keep out of people’s way.

We have Aylissa the bubble headed girl whose only gift is the ability to lust after Albrecht? Why was she even chosen? And what about Albrecht? He’s twice her age and a master spy but not smart enough to figure out she has a crush on him?

A Companion who totally removes themselves from the herd? Really? Companions are known for their nosiness and gossip. OK, so the group didn’t like the chosen or the choosing… in the world of Valdemar there would be at least one chapter of discussion about the chosen and how to handle him. Another chapter about the main group of Companions discussing how to handle the Alvira. Rolan would never tolerate the entire group shunning a Companion or a Companion not communicating with the group for that long. Companions talking to Companions is how Valdemar keeps itself informed.

A Companion who knows nothing about who their chosen is? Doesn’t try to learn who they are and doesn’t try and teach their chosen? Just rides them into the ground so they’re too tired to get into trouble.

2 years and Kerchen hasn’t embraced being a Herald in any way? Hasn’t change one iota from who he was when he was chosen?

And Kerchen’s companion not talking to him… really… a Companion is either there (always there whether or not you want them to be) or they repudiate you. There is no in between. Removal for even a short time is so painful for both chosen and Companion it can be (and has been) used as a lesson but can’t be sustained without causing harm to both the chosen and the Companion. If you repudiate both die.

It really is a great story line with a lot of potential but your other writings seem to have caused you to lose your center when it comes to Valdemar.

Alys - please never change :)
Borys

Engaging characters. Good story line. Well written. Obviously I am not a writer jbet I do enjoy a good story. Can't wait for more.

Enjoying this! Hope you continue!

An enjoyable read - both this fic, and the one before it! Please keep going, I'm eager to see how this feud develops.

All hail the Cliffy!

I love it so far and hope it continues.

It lives!
Is Alvira still being a cow?
Borys

I just found your story and enjoyed it, hope you write more..

This is a great story, Your characters are believable. I look forward to your next post.

Very cute story

good story! cant wait to read the rest of it...

Really good story. Loved that last chapter I feel sorry for kerchien he can't help it!

Ah kids, God's gift to parents so they don't have to exercise any more beyond simply playing with their kids. :)

Thanks for another great chapter update!

"Maybe if I had told them to braid the tail and pull the mane, she wouldn't have gotten so annoyed?"
LOL! All hail Dee Dee!
Borys