I love the italic 'winner takes all' stuuff. God, Lily Luna is a bitch. And it shouldn't be 'game over' not yet, Lily ought to comeuppance, and learn life isn't all games and stuff.

One word: brilliant.

Wow - that was cold. Strange how most people see the younger generation as these sweet ideal people. You definitely do not have that problem. You did a great job though of making this steamy without being explicit. The dialogue was brilliant. Lily is unbelievable.

I usually really dislike Next-Gen, but this one I liked. I think it was because you gave Lily, Teddy and Victoire /real/ personalities. The kind that come with flaws and aren't exactly like their parents.

I really liked Lily in this (funnily enough), I couldn't help but wonder what made her so selfish? Was she spurned badly before or simply born with out a conscience? What ever the case, I liked your Lily.

Teddy and Victoire were both good characters too but I liked Lily the best even though I probably shouldn't, haha. I think I liked this mostly because Victoire was the ones with problems and the one cheated on rather than the perfect one.

Nice job.

Overall, that was a good story - very good. Your portrayal of the relationship between Lily Luna and Teddy was excellent, and you wrote about their attraction in a way that made it seem pretty believable. You built up Lily's personality evenly and remained consistent throughout the story, however I think that there were points when you overdid the bitchy aspects of her character. Still, it was interesting to see her presented as being manipulative and I think that for the most part you managed to make her deviousness seem real. The idea of her and Teddy on Victoire's desk said it all, really, and that image was particularly striking, as was your description of Victoire's devastation.

My only other criticism is that you put most of the dashes in the wrong place:

"She watches with careful eyes as Teddy comes down fifteen minutes later and when he sees them talking together his face pales- he's always been such a terrible liar- and Victoire doesn't notice it..."

They should be positioned like this:

"She watches with careful eyes as Teddy comes down fifteen minutes later and when he sees them talking together his face pales - he's always been such a terrible liar - and Victoire doesn't notice it..."

In some ways it was easy for me, as the reader, to sympathise with Teddy. It was clear that the illicit relationship was troubling him, and yet he lacked the strength to break it off. You wrote about his conflict with an objective tone that definitely worked - it highlighted Lily's near indifference.

My favourite aspect of this story had to be the metaphor of a game woven through the main paragraphs; these details contributed greatly to the structure of your story by dividing the affair into clear segments whilst adding a certain element of drama to the atmosphere. It was an excellent technique and you managed to pull it off nicely. Well done!

Honestly, I'd been a little afraid to read this because, well, it's Lily/Teddy and I hate Lily/Teddy P But after reading your companion piece, I thought I should give this a whirl and goodness, this was breathtakingly beautiful.

Take this as a compliment: I hate your Lily. She's wonderfully evil and scheming and almost as hatable as Dolores Umbridge, and I think that was the point, so definite kudos for making her so thoroughly unlikeable.

Teddy, Teddy, Teddy-I still can't stand this Teddy, and I hope that was also the point, because he's so selfish and still annoying, but you wrote his emotions through Lily's eyes brilliantly.

And Victoire! Oh, gosh, your Victoire is still amazing and beautifully broken and deserves soso much better than this Teddy and this Lily (she can have mine, instead, because they're happy and fluffy, how's that? P) and even though we didn't see her much, you wrote her wonderfully.

As always, amazing job, and keep writing!

Okay, I have to start off by saying how totaly amazing/awesome/spectacular this oneshot is! I absolutely love evil/manipulative/bitchy Lily. And her ways of going about things? Priceless. I lovelovelove Teddy and Lily :)

Favoriting*

-Kirsten

Hm... interesting. I've never really liked Lily/Teddy but it was still interesting, like I said.

Your take on the second generation is interesting too. Not really how I imagined them but I could see it ending up that way.

This is, honestly, the very first fic I've read that centers around the newest generation kids. I think you did a fantastic job capturing the emotion and passion, and really did make Lily look like a bitch at the end. I loved the sentence structure you used!

"Of course you do." Lily tells him smiling at him, once again causing him to look at her in confusion. "You wouldn't be here otherwise, darling." favorite line!

Loved it!

Love love love a hundred thousand loves. I wish other Lily/Teddy writers would be like you. You're harsh, you're realistic. You make Lily more loveable by making her hateable, when the others make her this bland old Mary Sue.

Really, people, write like this girl.

(Okay, so I don't really like Teddy/Lily, and yours- even though, or perhaps because, you're not a TeddyLily fan, is a million times better than everyone elses.

Wow...this is amazing. You write so well. Great story. I don't know what to commend because I simply love the ENTIRE thing.

Keep on writing well!

~Bumblesore

So I (clearly) tend to write Lily/Teddy fics that have happy endings for everyone involved. BUT THIS. THIS with all of its angst and anger and selfish!Lily/selfish!Teddy and hurting!Victoire - this is perfect. It's a brilliant Lily/Teddy fic, a wonderful take on this pairing, heartbreaking, and incredibly well-done. I love your Lily, despite (or maybe because of) her being an utter bitch. It's an especially great fic for you not particularly liking the pairing! :)

If you don't get why we love lily/teddy read her fics : u/1166731/ they're lsa;kdfkjldfs awesome.

OH MY GOD I loved loved loved awesome :-bd Lily was such a great bitch.I've never read one where it just meant nothing and this was a great first one.

I admit I was quite surprised when I saw you publish a TeddyLily (never thought I'd see the day...never will, ever, publish one myself ;D) but...

WOW. LIKE REALLY,WOW. OH WOW.

Lily's a bitch.

Like, a really, heartless, bitch.

And I'm speechless. Seriously.

Because, goddess, she's so evil and flawed at the same time and oh my goodness what happens when things come full circle? I have fallen in love with Lily because she's so seriously demented in thinking that love is a silly game - and goodness, your Lily is such a mean, evil person, and I can really see you had fun playing around with her heartlessness and the way you portray her. She is honestly so flawed and the best part is she's twisted, she's sick, and she doesn't even know it. (I wonder who that person is who'll make her realize it, lol.)

And you really put a twist on this, because usually, it's her who is falling in love with Teddy, and usually, she is a bitch, but she's actually irrevocably in love with him and it takes him a while to return the feeling, but here, it turns out she's just playing with him the whole time.

And geez, you're tearing apart all the TeddyLily shippers here by indicating that it's simply a game. And honestly, I love you for that. I do read TeddyLily sometimes, and in truth, it can honestly be well characterized and acceptable, but MERLIN, you kill. (: And I must say, I'm not upset AT ALL because I'm a hardcore, TeddyVic shipper. (: But you do provide a plausible reason for why they got together-ish, and that's something most people don't do.

Another thing I love about this - Victoire's not a gossip-spreading, popular, back-stabbing bad person. And I hate it when people portray her that way to put her in contrast with Lily because she's so bitter about Lily and Teddy. I think I love her the best out of the three characters. Your portrayal of her is absolutely unique. And I mean, really unique. She's fragile, she's shattered, and Teddy with Lily is the last blow to herself. And god, she's so beautifully and wonderfully created (more so, I believe, than Lily) by your wonderful muse that it's just so easy to see the guilt Teddy feels.

And honestly, poor, poor Victoire. I felt for her, I really did.

The whole cycle of a game is really beautifully supported by all of her actions - and wow, just wow - this was amazing. You did really well, did justice to the shipping. I loved it. Really. (:

Favorites. (I hope you don't get tired of it. P)

AND, I'm requesting a TeddyVic with the same characterization of Victoire that you used hereeee. (:

Love,

Persephone.

sad, but good at the same time.