any story of harry with ginny on it is GREAT

If that happened to me I'd be so pissed off that my proposal got ruined

Hey i REALLY like your story, i think you should write the next chapter and it should be the families reaction. Ron should be like"whoa...what?" and hermione all happy and u get te idea. Please?

really good!

aawww! that was exactly how i expected harrys proposal to be like! well... not really, but i always pictured harry to plan something really nice, but then it would somehow go all wrong, but in ginny's eyes, that would make everything cuter... keke...

but this was pretty close to what i was picturing! and it was perfect for getting people in christmas spirit! ]

You know... This was extremely adorable...

'Specially Teddy...

I had a mini spaz attack over his cuteness... :D

Props -

I’m sort of reviewing as I go; I pasted it onto a Word document and reviewed bits and pieces of it. There’s negatives and positives here, and to get it over with, I’ll start with negatives.

I would have put “3rd floor bathroom,” but either way the reader gets it—it’s just that making the word floor possessive is awkward to me.

I think there’s a slight problem with tenses—pick a tense and stick with it, for the simple reason that it just doesn’t look right if you don’t. There’s also a bit of verb confusion as well; some of the verbs are used in a less accurate way than they’re supposed to be. At one point, you also used the word “bellowed” to describe Harry’s reaction to Arthur’s blessing. I think that’s a good verb, but it’s a bit strong for the setting.

There are also some descriptions that could use revising as well; “Coming up to the room, Harry knocked on the door eagerly” is one that particularly stood out at me—it implies that he knocked on the door as he was coming up to it. “At promptly eight o’clock” stood out as well; that makes it sound as though they all arrived prim, proper, and punctual. I think saying “approximately” or something along those lines would have been better; it gives a more relaxed flow to the story that I think goes well with the Weasleys.

I think you need to separate different scenarios a little more clearly. Some authors use lettering, others use straight lines (apparently they can’t be typed—there’s a way to add them onto the document when you upload it on Document Manager), but either way is a good way to clearly define a change in scene rather than just using the next paragraph.

On to the positives, and those are so much more fun to write!

The characters, for the most part, are done well; I can’t see Arthur Weasley using the word “hell” as an expletive, nor can I see Harry calling Mr. Weasley “Arthur”—Harry just doesn’t seem the type. I can totally picture Ginny and Teddy, though—Teddy would love her and it would be adorable. Molly was really played straight here, and I can definitely see George as Santa—best Santa EVER.

And Teddy was so CUTE! Forgive me for stepping out of role for a minute, but I thought Teddy was the sweetest thing EVER. I want to hug him SO BAD now!

There were just as many good descriptions as there were revision-worthy ones, though. I liked the description of the sitting room as “spacious,” that was very nice, and the use of “commenced” was very good as well. “Chatter soon filled the room” was also very nice—I love that one.

I loved the engagement ring switch gambit. That was hilarious. Harry, Angelina, George, Molly, and Ginny’s reactions were all very in-character and it really made me laugh. It could have been played out further for Rule of Funny, but the way you did it here was very nice.

It’s overall a good fic! It’s cute and funny, and I think that you’ve got loads of potential. Keep writing!

YAY! I loved it. You should write more. It was good.

Cool story idea-I really liked Harry's "negotiations" with Arthur and Teddy, but honestly I wasn't that crazy about his proposal. Just my opinion. I could see the Weasley's doing a Secret Santa gift exchange, so I thought it was a very realistic scenario. Thanks for writing!

Awww. Sweet. :)

I yell loudly, "Love it!"

Cute.

10/10